This depression is SO painful. My mind hurts. My chest hurts. I can barely stop crying. I really need to leave this earth so badly. There are little glimmers of hope, like tiny shimmers of light, but they’re gone just as quickly as they appear. Other than that, I worry for my daughter, how selfish of me it would be to bring her into this rotten world and then abandon her here without even me. I worry for my family, they would most likely never get over the grief of losing me, even tho I’m nothing. A burden. Useless. A failure. Still, that’s the way […]
Tag:
stop
i really feel like shit. i cry all the time when i’m alone. i wanna cut, but i’m trying to stop for my friends and bf. i find it hard to trust people, bc all of them who have been broken promissis. i’m trying this, bc maybe it helps idk. but i have to do at least one thing to try to stop.
thx for let me share Xx
It is always the same thing. Funnily, I should say, it is always the same thing. They pretend to care. They pretend to share my sorrow. They pretend to wish me the best.
But they just don’t care. They have their little own things to worry about and I’m not a part of these little things. I’m just contingent. And why (WHY?) would they care for someone who isn’t necessary? I’ve heard it a couple of times. I’m just the depressed and anxious girl they know and I need to stop worrying and to have bright ideas. Yeah please do tell a diabetic person to stop […]
I keep making the same mistake. I keep looking for intimacy in random hook ups, like it’s the spark of life, but it’s hurting me. I’m putting my body through abuse, and my friends are scared of me. They don’t understand why I’m doing it and they keep away from me. I’ve been with so many girls and guys, broken my heart over and over, and I’ve swallowed so many pills but can’t die.
For 10 years it’s been an endless cycle of pain and numbing that pain. It’s maddening. I want to get out. I want to have friends. Get a girlfriend. Be happy where […]
i kept myself extremely busy and productive today to take my mind off of everything. it worked pretty well too. i went to my college and attended my two classes for today. i got a lot of homework done for my courses, took care of the remaining things for financial aid, etc. i felt like i accomplished a lot today, i was even a little proud of myself, until night time arrived….
whats the point of any of it? why am i still trying? im absolutely miserable with myself. the only person who could make this better is the person who shattered my fucking heart. i […]
Hello there. I have a loving husband three amazing kids a fantastic family apart from my brother who is a complete twat (I mean totally) and I want to end my life…. . . ..I just want my pain to stop and it never does….. I just don’t know how i find the strength everyday to keep going. I am alone in this. I can’t share how I feel sat at the table….. It would break hearts….. But mine is breaking too…took a lot to put this down but it’s out there now…. I’m scared.
back again. and again. and again. why won’t it stop?? i wish it would stop coming back. that feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness. the utter lack of happiness. it never leaves, just goes to sleep for awhile. almost 3 years now. but now its back and im scared and alone and i cant get out of this hole. i dont want to be here anymore. please just make it stop. i want out. but i’m trapped in this fucking circle and i cant get away from it. sadness. depression. anger. death. the only things i can count on to never leave
I’m not so sure I understand much anymore…. All I know is I feel like it can’t get much colder than this… Can’t sleep, can’t eat, and I’m wondering how I’m even able to breathe… Someone please please tell me how to get out of this hell I’m in… Or maybe just how to stop the flashbacks?….anything…anyone :'(
This pain I’m having needs to stop already I can’t sleep it feels as if someone put a knife through me the pain. I’m having is sharpness just when will it ever end my damn scoliosis is such a bother n I feel as if I can’t really enjoy life I know I have appointments to see doctors for them to help me n shit but I can only wait so long till my breaking point. It’s such a ***** to deal with I cry when I’m alone n when my friends or family r around I hide my feeling I don’t want them to […]
All the mental and emotional stress hurts.
My body is starting to hurt as well.
I just hope the pain ends.
I can’t stop crying.
I just want inner peace.
I’m lying on my bed waiting.
For the suicide and self harm thoughts to stop.
For my tears to stop flowing.
For my pillow to dry up.
The sun is coming up and I’m still awake.
Thinking.
Waiting.
Listening to the birds telling me to sleep.
More waiting.
For the numbness that will greet me soon.
Hopefully.
I just want to be at peace
Even if it means becoming numb and never being able to be happy ever again.
I’m waiting.
I don’t want to feel anymore.
I’m waiting to become numb.
So g-ma was batshit crazy mommy is batshit crazy now turns out the star child is batshit crazy too but I’m too smart to try and die like mommy and too many people know my name for me to disappear like mommy wanted me to. I got left twice before daddy stepped in and at least I have a room to be left in. Lucky for me another she came along and we ended up going to the same schools. I used to cut a lot and it felt so good but she hates it so I got on my knees and promised her I […]
So much sadness.I am going to be very quiet.I am going to be very still. If I do this I can stop trying to explain to them what the matter is,and for that matter,ANYTHING I want to talk of to them…its all no good -they do not want to know.Ive worn their love and interest right the fuck out of them .Nothing I can say about anything is of any relevance.I either go from here and wander til I find a way to live,or to die…or I lay here and die..
A guy died and went to Hell. After his “intake” was over, he was escorted down a long, hot corridor and lead into a huge cavern. What he saw astonished him – thousands of people standing waist deep in warm, steaming human waste. Many of them strangely were enjoying a cup of coffee or other refreshments.
“Is this it?” he questioned.
“Yep, this is it.” replied the escort. “Your place is over at the end of the third row.”
Wading through the muck after a brief stop at a Coke machine that didn’t require money he took his place, opened his soft drink and quipped to a woman […]
Isolation can be a dangerouse thing.It can change you.it can warp you.it will mold you into something….not human.I know this because I live it.in all the years that I’ve lived in isolation, I noticed one thing.it takes you down a path….it starts to change you little by little.and everytime you hit a vital point down this dark path…you become that much less of a human.For me at least, I know this much.you start to hate uncontrollably, you turn into something else.Im a perfect example, im not human anymore…I may look,act,and sound like one but the truth is im turning into something of the dark.I love […]
It’s hard to pick yourself up,
after you fallen.
It’s hard to “cheer up,”
when you have felt this way for years.
It’s had to “move on”
when your life is a stop sign.
The silence is deafening at times, my heart is filled with pain, sorrow and loneliness. Heartache has once again settled in to stay for awhile. How many more times should I try love again, over and over, really whats the point? They say to have loved and lost is better than not to have loved at all! I say fuck love!!
So the new me.. Im not leaving home unless I have to, Im not speaking to anyone unless necessary. Im just going to stop caring about everyone including my family. I guess this is a forced silence, well not forced, chosen. Im choosing to stop […]
The darkness is death – we can speak, but we are not heard. We can scream but they turn their backs. We can run, but we cannot catch them. It is the dream where arms and legs won’t work they way they should, and the air is too thick to breathe. Loved ones walk a mile ahead, forgetting to stop as we fall behind. This is the reality of the darkness. We are buried alive inside ourselves. ”
– Dana-Christene Umanetz
To those tempted today to ask what Robin Williams had to be depressed about, with his success, fame, wealth, lovely home, lovely family, tons of opportunities and great moments in his life, please just stop. If he had died of cancer, would you ask what he had had to be cancerous about? If he had been run over by a car, would you have aske – See more at: http://www.alastaircampbell.org/blog/2014/08/12/may-robin-williams-tragic-end-herald-the-start-of-new-attitudes-to-depression/#sthash.vz4Hfjrj.dpuf
Hello
My name is Micaela,
I have been upset and miserable for as long as i can remember.. Last night I had I fight with my mom who I once held near and dear to my heart, she is slowly drifting away day by day .. I cant stop it I dont know how… she makes me feel bad about everything I do when in reality all I want to do is help and make her proud (she Always tells me that she is , but I never really feel it)… like today during the fight she was describing the things I do but when I heard the way she was describing me it was like an exact image […]