Death is a blessing.
Death is like the night. We hide from it, postpone it as long as possible, shun the darkness, but in the end it is inevitable.
We fear it, but it will forever stalk our waking hours, haunt out most sinister nightmares.
Grief, perhaps, is worse.
Grief is what is left behind for the living to deal with.
It is what will make two enemies allies, what can make love turn to hate.
Grief is the most astonishing of pain, and we see it everyday, in some shape or form.
Maybe you just broke up with your beloved. Maybe you just lost […]
Tag:
Suffering
Hey you! Out there in the cold, getting lonely getting old, can you feel me?
by Helix
written by Helix
It’s so strange… I mean, the way I feel… Am I depressed? I would say yes, but I ain’t that sure thats the right word to describe it. I got problems, many problems, but I’m forced too much to hide the real me and the things I really feel and I end up thinking that pretending it’s fucking okay for the sake of everyone keeping his quiet balance in his life. That’s fucking unfair, I can’t sacrifice myself just to prevent the people that surround me from breaking their peace.
I can’t convince myself that this is simply my life and this is all about […]
I’ve been struggling for so long.
I’ve battled self harm for almost a year now. I can’t stop.
My parents found out, but they don’t know the truth and don’t know how bad it is.
I feel so alone.
I’ve attempted suicide three times. Three fucking times.
None of my friends ask me how I’m doing. Not even my boyfriend asks me anymore.
I’m so alone here. I’m so scared for what I can do to myself.
If I pick up that razor again, I’m afraid I’ll go too deep, cutting something important.
But the sick thing is, I want to.
I do badly want […]
you know when you feel lower than everyone? your grades are not that high that no one lets you take a decision because they think youre too young… that everyone around you is aloud to tell you what you shouldnt do or be or even like, while you arent aloud to discuse with them….I’m here … lying in my bed thinking again about suicide… yes im sick of life like everyone! i’ve started to think about suicide since 6th grade… now im in secondary 4 … in overall i have problemes everywhere… whatever i may do people around me get dissapointed and if i do […]
Hey,
I do not know what to say really. I’ve been on the brink of suicide for quite a while I am very anxious so you may get confused while reading. I have been on this site since last year, and I am depressed. I have little energy to live. Now do me one favor. Please do not write comments such as “oh, everything will be better, just wait and see.” If you want to comment, please in form of advice, I am sick of sympathy. So I have lived in an Arab country my entire life. Everything started in kindergarten. I was in a German kindergarten, and I use to bully […]
I am all alone in this mysterious world.I know almost nothing about my life,myself or the world around me.I’m really lost in the darkness of my great ignorance.I don’t know much about myself either.I can’t understand the workings of my own mind.It seems as though I am myself part of the mystery of existence and life.I am so helpless and lonely.The god of this enigmatic universe manipulates and controls all aspects of my life.He controls the innermost parts of my mind.I’m like a toy in his powerful hands.And death is getting closer and closer to me.My life smells of death.My body is so mortal that […]
It’s been so long.
Yet here I am, back where I started.
I can’t believe that a person could say this to me, with the knowledge that my brother is austistic…
“Respecting retards isn’t respectful. putting them out of their misery and doing them a favor, however… is.”
With that one sentence; that person has hurt me in every way possible.
He could have called me every name in the book: whore, dyke, ****, slut, *****, etc. and I wouldn’t have cared.
But having the balls to say that to me…to my brother…someone he doesn’t know….
How could someone say that?
How can they sleep at night knowing that by saying that they […]
I was at drivers ed tonight at my high school and there was a basketball game going on and i looked in and i saw all the girls with their friends and families and all i cant think is why cant i have that? why cant i have friends who will support me? why cant i have friends in general or people who like me? no guys are ever interested in me and the only guys that are, are the kinds that just want a ding dong ditch because i let every guy in that i can because they are the only ones that ever […]
I can’t begin to explain how tired I am of everything. Â Tired of being a failure, tired of the loneliness, tired of feeling like an alien that doesn’t belong anywhere, tired of not having any money, tired of putting on a brave face, tired of my shitty family, tired of having “trusted” friends stabbing me in the back, tired of hurting, tired of being hurt, tired of the sadness, tired of missing the only man I ever loved, tired of having everything go wrong, tired of the holidays … most of all, I’m tired of living.
I know people keep saying that tomorrow is the start […]
I am worthless… and what’s worse is I know I don’t like me I don’t think other people really do either. I’ve been through more in 30 years than most within the worst circumstances will have to deal with. All I want is the curage to press that much harder on the blade… I hate me. For so many reasons I don’t deserve life but what ever governs this world won’t see fit to let my suffering end. Haunted with only 1 way out but too much of a baby to do it. I don’t want to deal with it anymore […]
You never even think about me. You’re just strangers living in the same house. The girl you think I am doesn’t exist! I wanted to cry, but never could. No matter how lonely I was, or how sad, you never even tried to understand. Ever since my brother left, I was always, always, ALWAYS ALONE! But I don’t care anymore. My heart has created a prison to shelter me.
Shut up. Leave me alone. I don’t need anything or anyone anymore. Just go away. Go away. I don’t want to feel anymore pain or suffering. Leave me alone! Wouldn’t it be great if you could live […]
Okay so everyone always wants to know what my problem is, why I feel this way or why I seem totally unable to make things better. But for fucks sake they don’t know me, or my history, so they’re in no position to judge! The fact is if they did, they’d probably understand why I want to die as badly as I do. And trust me it’s such a long, sordid and sad story that half the time I wouldn’t even know where to start or how to explain. Sometimes I look at the way my life has turned out and it makes me fume with […]
razors pain you ,rivers are damp, acids stain you ,drugs cause cramps ,guns arnt lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful ,you might as well LIVE .    Thats what i tell myself . the suffering makes us stronger . sometimes nothing can make it better. GOD sees whats been done to us . He saves our tears in heaven. there are things that we are not to understand . try as we might. quiet cool breeze . the sun on our skin. the glistening of the morning dew. the smile of a child. the clouds in the sky . makes the pain go drifting by .dwell […]
I’m 19 years old, and I’ve been through more than any person should in their lifetime. I’ve been raped twice, the first was by my “loving boyfriend” when I was 15, he said he loved me, and I believed him. Because of this, I was stupid enough to stay with him. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he also physically and emotionally abused me constantly. My so-called friends knew what was going on, and they just sat there and did nothing.  The best day of my life was October 15th 2006 when I got into a car accident and he was killed. I thought the […]
It will never be ok…
So, i guess i’m here.. just to share with you my experience..
I guess the stress of sports, losing friends, family, and getting my heartbroken over and over.. got to me.. I started cutting, which was a big mistake.. I know that, and i’m done doing that now.. One night, i couldn’t handle anything anymore.. I ran to the bathroom crying my eyes out.. I locked the doorbehind me, and grabbed a blade, and slashed my arm.. I kept cutting up my arm, slashing it, over and over.. Telling myself what a fuck up i am.. And how it was all my fault.. Each cut, deeper […]
I don’t want to live anymore, it’s that simple…
I am a dreamer, and throughout difficult times in my life, I always had this light pulling me toward better days.
I am now 35, depression has always been a part of my life, and I am feeling exhausted.
I lost everything, I am left with nothing. Building my life again would take me an incredible amount of strength that I do not have at this point.
I know what is the core of my endless suffering: I simply need love. But that cannot be done consciously, and when I have truly loved, I have always lost. I cannot keep […]
Im putting this somewhere in cyberspace since no one in my life would bother to read it if I left it here and I want someone somewhere to know my story.
Ive been alone for so long now that I can barely remember what its like to have an actual conversation and the crushing solitude has crossed the threshold of the unbearable and any hope of rekindling any kind of social connection has long since faded so its time to hang it up (not literally though im way too much of a ***** to do it that way). […]
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