This one’s pretty long, sorry if I bore anyone. I should preface by saying that I’ve been depressed for four years. I was formally diagnosed with major depressive disorder January of this year, but I knew long before. I’ve never had a true friend, anything even close to a relationship (been led on a few dozen times), and I feel alone constantly. Recently my diagnosis was changed to suggest the cause of my pain is ADD. I’m not sure if the doctors are right, but amphetamines are helping a bit lately. This is the story of the last eight months or so, from the first […]
Tag:
Suicidal Thoughts
Note: If I seem like I’m holding back it’s because I’m a little paranoid because my mom found the notes I hid on my laptop 2 days ago
One year to 11 months ago I started feeling empty inside  it was kind out of nowhere, when I started school (i had just started high school) I was in a performing arts program and took dance during the weeks and after a while into the school year( not so far in late September) I decided to quit and drop everything because it was getting overwhelming and I was losing interest in it even though I enjoyed these things […]
I woke up today already feeling depressed.
I didn’t want to do anything at all today, so I decided to take some sleeping pills to make me sleep all day, hoping I’ll feel better. I slept for 7 hours and I feel terrible and my emotions are all over the place.
The suicidal thoughts are back.
-A.C
   Today, one of the worst days of my life. It well.. started yesterday. Me and my boyfriend had an argument. Turns out he doesnt trust me. This is the second time he thinks im cheating on him! Anyways, we were talking..them came the yelling, and well then nothing. He left. Just like that. So today, at school i tried to talk to him, say sorry. But he would ignore me the whole time. I ended cutting again… Its been like 2 weeks that i havent cut until today..at school. I guess i needed it again. To help me take my mind off things. and […]
I was just prescribed Vyvanse and even though I have not taken it every day in the last 2 weeks I am thinking that it really revs up the suicidal thoughts. Same with Lorazepam.
Anyone else…?
um,i don’t know how to start this,i’ve never talked about my suicidal thoughts to anyone,ever,but i felt like you people can at least understand cause you’ve had it bad too. well,let’s start with family eh? my family,my father is a ***** who left me and my brothers with our mother for 10 years and now he wants me to get back with him. me and my brothers tried to forgive him for all that he’ve done through out all these years but he wouldn’t let us. it’s like he wants us to hate him but go with him,and leave my mother alone. i’m the one […]
Hey, you.
I want to let you know that you’re not alone, and what you’re feeling now is something each and every single one of us can relate to. We’ve all felt at one point or the another, that what we’re going through is something that we can’t come out of, or too painful to see through. Though, even if you don’t believe in yourself, I believe in you.
I can’t and wont promise you that everything will be better, but I can promise you that can make it through tomorrow. You’re reading this now, aren’t you? You made it through today, and I promise that tomorrow will […]
Stay awake you’ll be supprised.
At the beauty of the butterflies
They fly so high oh they have soared,
they know the pain you’ve endured,
they will never leave your plight,
scarlet wings look so bright,
leave back the nights of flooded tears,
and wake up without that frown.
The moonlight shines away your fears,
as the butterflies wipe away your tears,
so tonight when you start to cry,
remember the cutters lullaby:
hushabye baby you won’t be dead,
you have a pulse though your pillow is red.
your family hates you though your friends wont let you bleed,
just throw away that knife,
that’s all you need to do.
rockabye baby broken and scared,
 you know life won’t always be this hard,
time […]
Hey there. Was going to use a fake name but it’s too much effort so you can just call me Kurea. She’s a character from a japanese anime i like.
I found this site on google. I can’t even remember what i was searching for. “What’s the point in living” or something similar i suppose. But i found it and it intrigued me. Not alot interests me these days, maybe it’s the idea other people feel the same as i do. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone though, not even my worst enemy.
I guess we’re all depressed here. Well so am i. It’ll be 6 years […]
One of my friends told the head of my school everything. My depression,the cutting, the suicidal thoughts.
Now everyone is laughing at me, indirecting me and I can’t fucking be arsed with it. The girl who is supposed to be my bestfriend has tweeted twice about me,
“I want to commit suicide for no reason at all lol :):):)”
“Cuttin my wrists at the moment bcos my friends care about me x”
Charming, right?
hello. it has been so long since i have even been one here. since april actually. but i decided to come back on.
i feel done with life. im not living anymore. im just the walking dead, like a zombie. literally. i cant concentrate on anything. and ill probably be made to go to rehab soon because i couldnt stop smoking weed. well i dont really care. im planning on killing myself before that happens. i know for a fact that i can never be happy again. thats just never gonna happen. im just completely done. i dont even want to be around my best […]
Just a shitty day… or a couple.
A day like today where I wake up feeling okay, and then I start thinking about all the things I’ve ever done wrong. And then I start thinking about how I’m a shitty person. And then, on top of that, I feel like I have zero things to offer. I try so fucking hard to be good at things, at art, at programming… I’m in college, getting decent grades and busting my ass… But I hate everything I’ve ever done. I’ve never accomplished anything and I feel worthless. I’m a huge sagging disappointment to myself. I feel ugly; I […]
I guess I should start with a statement of “I know that I”m a really lucky person, and life, while not perfect, had been nice to me.” I am born in a really developed country, and have so many benefits that many other countries doesn’t have. I am gifted and loved by god in many ways (learned how to read a language through watching TV, drawings that had won numerous awards and got me a 60,000 scholarship money, performed dance for the Winter Olympics, top three in my school, an hourglass figure, decent face, and healthy body with no mutations…etc.) But I don’t see a […]
hia all here to speak about the illness that we all share. i dont believe you are sane or honest if you have not considered suicide. the main reason iv come on here is because in the last few days iv attempted to reach out to many of my acquaintances about life suffering and the torrent of
suicidal thoughts that seem to follow any serious self-contemplation im capable of. Notability i’ve come to the realize that the contemplation of limitations lead to suicidal thoughts even if its just for the duration of one class, being bound to a desk while an innocent teacher attempts to […]
I just keep thinking about suicide. I don’t explicitly have a plan yet, but I have a general idea of what to do. I know we aren’t allowed to talk about this on the board, but even if we were, I’m not sure if I want my mind changed and I don’t want to be stopped. I told myself I’d give myself until I turned 30, but that seems overly generous now. I don’t know when, but I can’t see myself carrying on for that long. I’m not a human being. If I were, I’d feel loved and worthwhile. There would be a point to […]
I’m so glad that I found this site. It’s perfect. Things have been really fucked up as of lately. My depression and disordered eating that began in 6th grade have crept back into my life somehow. Causing me to get in fights with friends, family, myself. I’ve had suicidal thoughts every single day, just like old times. But something new is that I see scary images. But this has been happening since summer/the end of last year. Like for an example, whenever I close my eyes I see blood or a man with an ax in his head laying on the ground bleeding, or when I’m in […]
I’m sick of waiting.
I’m sick of having my heart broken again and again. This year has been horrible. I started off telling someone something and having it thrown in my face, and then recovering from it only to find myself falling for the same things all over again with someone new. But this person is different, yet I have to wait for her, but she will disappear from my life. I don’t want that…
She makes me want to strive, but then not being there for her makes me sick, I’m being to obsessive maybe.
I feel empty without her, she’s special, and I don’t want this […]
Reading through the posts, its amazing how different all our stories are.
We have somethings in common – that feeling of not being able to carry on, hating our lives, hating our past, not feeling like we have a future.
How many of you have read anothers story and thought either:
Thats far worse than my life,
or
thats not so bad?
It something to think about – if we put ourselves in other peoples lives how would we feel then, worse or better than we do now.
If one can get one spirits up just a little – its really important.
Having severe PTSD (post traumatic stress), having a nervous […]
Everyday I just get more and more depressed. I feel like I don’t have anything happening in my life. All I do is go to school all day, come home and sleep, and then spend about 3 hours on homework. It feels like every time I wake up, it’s just ‘another day’ y’know? I feel like my life has become stagnant, it’s not going anywhere. I have a few friends at school, but I don’t feel like I really fit in anywhere, and I just miss my best friend who is now doing home school, and I know I shouldn’t even be complaining because I […]
I have had 3 suicides in my life. My father , his father, and then my uncle. I was only 8 at the time. It has effected me in every single way. I was in depression.. I used to have a severe phobia of dying and i will admit i also used to have suicidal thoughts, but I found something that I hang on to and that is helping people. I try to show people the light when they are consumed in darkness. I am everyones friend no matter what anyone went through or whatever mistakes they’ve made. I dont shut people out because I […]