Okay I have had depression and suicidal thoughts since I was in my mid-teenage yrs. I’ve always blocked it out of my mind and hid it and was in complete denial. I actually started admitting to it about a yr and a half ago, but I’ve started dealing with it in the last month especially in the last week. I was always told by churches that you’ve got power of these things that all you have to do is pray and God will take care of them. Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world. I believe in God […]
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Suicide
I felt suicidal as a teenager, 20 years ago, and never thought it would happen again. I’m a trained mental health worker, I know the signs, I know who I am supposed to call, what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t see the point. Up until May this year I thought suicide was a sad act, and now, I think it is a viable option. Infact, I’ve come up with my own therapy, I have a plan. On the 26th of September 2014 I am allowed to take my own life. Four months before this date, decision making goes in to lock down- as in- […]
I am only 13. And I think about suicide often. Im so young, and ive had it so hard. Things just confuse me so much. When I was 10 I made a “reasoning book” Every time something kills me a little more inside, and makes me think of suicide I write it down in my reasoning book. My plan is when I get to my 100th reason, I will finally try to seek help. I will ask for help. I will put all my trust on a line, and ask for help. And if finding help fails, It will be my last day to breathe. […]
Shouldn’t we all be helping each other, not encouraging to commit?
So a few years ago, my first year in college, I tried to kill myself. I was in a bad place. I was living in a new city, had always been terrible at meeting people, and was under a lot of pressure to do well academically so I could keep my scholarship. Needless to say I survived, but I lost my scholarship, dropped out, and moved back home to live with my parents.
I was angry and depressed a lot. I got in fights with my family. My parents didn’t really get what had happened. After all, its not like I was physically abused or any […]
I’ve never really set goals for myself…mostly because since I was 14 I have always seen myself commiting suicide at a young age and dying young. I fight every single day not to kill myself because it just seems like my destiny…..
Recently I have been thinking a lot about my situation and what could have helped me not turn out this way. I realize that a lot of my behaviors are because of the abuse of my childhood. I have spent many years thinking that i was defective, crazy, beyond help and basically just irreversibly fucked up. I know that other people feel that way. […]
everyone makes suicide jokes around me
they make fun of cutters
they make fun of the disease that plagues my very existence.
does no one feel sympathy for mental illness in this world? just because its not directly killing me, no one gives a fuck.
People see my scars and smirk and whisper to one another. i wear black one day and instantly, im emo. i give up. i think im going to “trip” infront of a speeding SUV tomorrow.
2your useless just like your father” is something I usually hear when i fail to please my mother. Ever since the divorce, our relationship has been so strained and she has been verbally and emotionally abusing me for the last year or so.my father left us and is rarely ever on the scene and is a dead-beat dad.my mom is under so much stress from everything but she takes it out on me particularly. my two younger sisters are treated like gods gift and im told to shut up and get over myself. she constantly talks about how nobody would ever want me and […]
What’s awaits me once I commit suicide?? Does anyone know for sure? Heaven or Hell or a void??
When i was little, i started to cut myself. mind you, im only 15 now. My counsler used to ask me if i could set a goal to live ..like live to christmas or my next birthday. and i did just that. I never knew it wasnt normal to think about suicide. i think about it maybe twice a week. My mom told me one time that i was a coward for wanting to kill myself, they think i just want attention, its not. i want relief. and its sad to say i think suicide is my only way out. I’ve tried before, i took […]
Hi. My name is Nemmy. Im 12. Soon to be 13 on August 14. Anyway, I’ve been wanting to commit suicide a lot lately. My my boyfriend and 3 friends have been stopping me. The one and only reason i want to die, is because im cyber bullied. A girl on facebook has been bullying me since i met her. Im dating her boyfriend. But, its not like we were bestfriends and i just took her boyfriend. I dont do that. Anyway, She has been calling me a lot of bad things. Im not going to name them. Sorry.. I want to commit suicide so […]
I have been contemplating the final act for weeks on end. My roomate just left for work so the apartment is mine if I choose to do so. The only way out is a rope, I dont have access to any pills this time. I think about the actuall moment of loosing conscieness. I have a video of a person which posted his suicide online from hanging. I’ve watched it 10 or 20 times over the last year and a half. His body isn’t completely suspended meaning he could have stood up at any point before passing out to stop his suicide. I have never […]
Alright im 19 years old. You guys on here think you’ve been threw stuff? My Bio dad abannded me when i was born. Another man Adopted me and called me his. Only for me to find out it really wasnt him who was my dad. Brother died of cancer. I pretty much raised him. I have attempted suicide many times and i believe that it has put me in an inbetween of this and the next life. I look around and everything seems darker. The whole world just angier.
When i began expiermenting with drugs i did many things. Ive done anywhere from pot/DMT/Spice/Coke and about […]
im trying to force my way through today to be positive, my friend recently moved out of my house and she lives quiet a way away now and i really miss her, my brother also moved even furthur away recently. i really miss being able to easily hang around with them, they were my reasons for waking up, they still are, its just abit more difficult. i feel kind of lost, i like being around people when the black cloud of deppresion isnt horribly distorting who i am. so im going to try and go outside today, even if its just walking around in my […]
Hello.
This is my note. This is the only place my note will ever be, because I’m too much of a coward to actually go through with this.
I’m nothing, I mean nothing to myself. I would really rather disappear into nothing. Scatter myself into a thousand and one atoms, floating peacefully in space. Instead I’m stuck here, in this colourless hell. The only person i can talk to won’t listen, I can’t tell her anyway. I love her too much to let her bear this.
Anyway, my name is Sian. I’m nearly sixteen, I have blonde hair and brown eyes. I’m a dancer, that’s how I define […]
I haven’t posted in a while. I told my parents.. I was kinda threatened to but I’m glad i did. Things were starting to get better when I first told them. Didnt cut till last night. I’m in the exact same spot I started in. I have made my 2 best friends cry because they are so worried. I know it hurts them but that’s nothing compared to the pain I have to wake up with everyday. I feel like now that people know it’s a free pass to kill myself because they won’t wonder why. We think I have depression. Could be possible […]
I know how some people wanna be skinny and thin but I don’t. I’m 15 years old and don’t have an eating disorder i’m just VERY skinny. I hate it I get made fun of a lot and get called chicken legs or twig. People make fun of me and say i’m anorexic. When I go to get clothes I can find anything that fits me. Also lately Ive been lonely my friends ignore me and don’t talk to me for reasons I don’t know. Ive been thinking about cutting and suicide lately. I always think about if I did die no one would miss me or notice. I just want to be loved and be comfortable on how I look.
I don’t know if anyone can relate to it. I’ve never told anyone before. My story seems different from the stories I see that flood these boards. I’m not depressed or lonely. I do enjoy living. Even, when I have a strange tendency to forget to do the things that keep people alive such as eating food on a regular basis. I do like food. I’m just forgetful. I have friends who remind me to eat so it’s not too bad. In general I am a happy person. When I drink I’m a happy drunk. I most certainly have no intention of dying.
But here I […]
I feel so alone. I feel so lost. I feel so alone that I feel like I already died and everyone didn’t know or just didn’t care. I want to give up so bad. I can’t concentrate anymore. Words go past me and kinda jumble up in my mind. My hands shake because I always want to cry. Everyone’s gone. They all left. They’re all ghosts. Whenever I try to speak to someone, they ignore me. Or they’d look at me and roll their eyes. I used to be one of those popular girls. Everyone was my friend or wanted to be my friend. And […]
First post in a while.
I have tagged this with the words “I will survive” somewhat ironically. ‘Cause I won’t.
I am depressed every spare second of the day. I can only fake a smile, and now my friends have started seeing it’s fake. One even stated that my eyes got sadder when I smiled.
But, every single spare second I get, suicidal or self-loathing thoughts come into my mind. I hate myself. I hate this. I hate this reality and I spend so long wanting to leave.
And…sooner or later I will. People can tell me to keep my chin up, to surround myself with loved ones. But […]