My mind wanders all sorts of dark places. It’s like life is never going to change. The fear of death is only because your attached to something or someone. I have someone. I don’t fear death though. I learned that fear is just in your mind and it can go away. I can disappear and the world keeps spinning. My death will only define who I was. Although I want people to remember me as happy that would just be lying to themselves and that’s useless. I don’t really regret anything right now and I want to die in peace and I feel like this is the […]
How long has it been since I’ve heard your name out loud.. How long has it been since I’ve thought of you..? I’ve buried you down deep in my heart so one day when I can finally come to terms with my own suicide I can think of you… How many times have I carved your Initials in my flesh? How many days have past since you lost yourself? I only wish that you were here to guide me through everything… I’m like a child… still doing childish things… wanting to make adult choices… Jason… I miss you so much… Why did you have to […]
I am a student of suicide. I am fascinated by it and the prospect does not daunt me in the least. However, I cannot seem to do the deed. I cannot end this life of mine. I have tried ~12 times since I was 9 years old and aside from passing out a few times, I have never even gone into a coma.
If I believed in God, I might see his hand being part of this. However, I think I am just not motivated enough to die. Nor to live. I am in living pergatory.
I am 22 years old now. Female. Asexual, but unable to […]
I have the ability to convince people out of suicide. I can help them stop self harming. I sincerely tell a surplus of people that they’re beautiful.
I can give people so many good reasons as to why not to do anything that could harm themselves.
But I can’t convince myself out of suicide.
I can’t keep myself from self harming
It’s impossible for me to believe I’m beautiful.
I keep my thoughts surrounded by the fact that I’m an ugly human being.
I’m such a hypocrite.
As a person, I’m happy about being human, despite the fact that can’t take care of myself.
It just sucks, […]
this is my first time ever talking about my suicidal feelings. i guess I should let you know about me. I’m 18 and I’ve been trying to kill myself since I was ten not sure what made me want to start but i’ve been trying ever since. Sometimes I’ll be “fine” for weeks and then i drop back to wanting to die or cut which can last for a few days or sometimes months. In total I’ve tried 12 times one was about 3 hours ago and shortly after started puking, my mom walked in the bathroom and asked if I was ok and i told […]
didnt sleep at all , all i thought about was how bad today was going to be , just so happy i dont have school.
OK most of you dont know me in  person , so my mum and dad divorced when i was 6 and then when i was 7 my mum made me my sister move away from my dad because my grandpa was sick and my mum wanted to be with him a few years after that i started being bullied in school because i was different i wore glasses , i wasnt fat i weighed 110 pounds (just all the other girls […]
Wouldn’t it be nice if the world ends??
I’ve pretty much given up on suicide for the moment. I can’t put my family through it. I just dread the day when I’m too much for them to look after, because I can’t support myself.
The end of the world would be nice. At least it’s something I could get involved with. Oh well, wishful thinking.
I’m one of those people who can’t face the world. I can’t face people. I can just about talk to people online, unless they start to get to know me, which is when I usually back away because I can’t commit myself to […]
Hello, everybody.
I’m not in the best of mindsets at the moment. All I can think about is Suicide.
I know that I probably shouldn’t be but today I realised something.
Nobody wants me here.
I haven’t been diagnosed with any sort of mental health issue but I know that I’m severely depressed. This upsets me more.
I’ve been in denial for so long. I lied to my loved ones. I’ve cut, bruised, hurt myself to the point where I don’t know who I am anymore.
I wish that things were different [like everybody else] but wishful thinking will never get me anywhere.
My thoughts aren’t […]
I have been cutting since my 7th grade year. I don’t really know why I started  or what caused me to feel cutting was a good way out. All I know is that I used cutting as an escape for my pain which then turned to an addicting habit. A girl I knew, Raiyanne used to put small razor blades in her compact mirror and cut whenever she needed a release at school. I don’t know why I decided to cut but that became my way of doing it. My wrists are scarred up so bad from cutting that I’m not even sure how I […]
The strangest and weirdest thing about recovery is comparing who you are now to who you were before. It is also one of the most amazing and yet bitter-sweet and almost heartbreaking things.
About a year ago, the suicidal thoughts fully took hold of me, they’d been there for a year or maybe more, but I’d been preoccupied with various other things and hadn’t really given the idea of taking my own life very much thought. But for whatever reason, last March I became completely filled with a desire to fall off the face of this earth. To begin with, it was a case of wanting […]
Makena. I love you more than life itself, i put so much trust into you. i put it all in for you, i have never loved anyone or anything the way i love you, i didn’t have to be a strong man because you were strong for me, i think of all the moments we have shared together. You kept me from drinking you showed me how to be in love. for 2 years i have loved you more than anything. Now its all gone and you don’t even care. I am in pieces and you are just fine did 2 years not mean a […]
The first time I tried to kill myself was on November 3rd 2012.
I was friends with this girl Tori, and then one day, for no reason I know of, she changed. She hated me. I didn’t know what I did. But that week after she changed was hell for me. She called me things, made fun of me, tripped me, hit me. And on that day, I’d had enough. When I get on the bus, I instantly regretted it. It’s like I could feel that I was going to go home and kill myself. My bus stop is the first one, right before hers. When […]
I hurt her already. Tore her heart apart, the only girl i really love. I did it again. Why did i do this again to her? No, i didnt hit her, i didnt emotionally abuse her. id never do thet to a girl. im too much of a southern gentleman. but i brike up with her a second time time. i thought it was a good idea, thought we didnt work out. now this bottle cant kill the pain of knowing iv dont this. i want her back. i miss my country girl. shes what makes my life worth living. if i come crawling back […]
Nobody WANTS to understand.
Society’s just a big shambles.
Everybody cares when you’re dead.
What’s the point?!
“Can the lonely take the place of you?”
I’ll forever be fine in your eyes. I don’t hurt. I don’t cry. I don’t cut my skin. I don’t want to die. I’m not unhappy.
I don’t think about killing myself every single moment of every single day.
The only heaven there is, is the one you get to experience for a limited amount of time in life, it usually involves someone else in your life, and the whole time you are in this heaven, experiencing the awesomeness of togetherness and nothing in the world matters but you and the other person. During that time you are creating the hell for yourself, because when that heaven is over and that person is gone, all is lost. There is no going back and the memories of laughter freedom and the truest of friendships will forever bring you the most pain and sadness lonesomeness one […]
I wrote here 3 years ago about my pain and about my suicidal thoughts. When I look back at those days from now, I see a human that has fallen to betrayal, mental and emotional abuse. I was a kind, caring and loving person. I used to help people as much as I can and try to make things right. None at that time did really care but I did my best regardless. Then I was betrayed by my girlfriend and members of my family. Most friends did not seem really to care. Others just made things seem easy. Honestly speaking I was […]
People underestimate how much music means to me. They have no idea that music is the only thing keeping me from a mental institute. Music does so many things for me. It keeps the monsters of the night away, it pushes away all feeling cutting couldn’t. It keeps my anxiety down, and calms me when I need it. It’s the only thing I’m alive for. The depression, the anxiety, the eating disorders, the bipolar, the ADHD, the personality disorders, they’d all be 20 times worse without music.
And trust me when I say I’d be dead by now. Without music, I wouldn’t have that one song […]
FOR OTHER PEOPLE.
People who have cancer and people who’s fighting death, people who wants to live, people who’d give up anything to live.
I feel that sometimes, whenever I plan suicide. Â I don’t know. I’m weird and complicated. F*cked up and shitty.
Gives advice to some people, now some are completely okay.
Can’t take own advice , life’s completely f*cked up!
Encourages people not to kill themselves.
Planning suicide minutes after.
Tells other people that life’s gonna turn out great someday.
Curses the world for his/her crappy life.
Ha-ha they say to me. They ask me why, I say it’s still a mystery. Ha-ha to me.
Hello.I am new here,so I don’t know anything about this site,all I know is that I am seeking some kind of comfort right now,and this seems like the kind of ‘place’ where I can find it.I have seriously considered suicide a few times,but this is by far the worst time ever.Each time I attempted it I was 100% serious,and yet,as you can see,I am still here.I have started to ‘starve’ myself but it was not on purpose.I haven’t eaten literally anything in three days,not because I wanted to kill myself,not because I’m on a diet,but because I am feeling an unimaginable amount of pain and […]