I’m left wondering how genuine these posts are. everyone on the suicideproject is run by their emotions (myself included), and I’m wondering how a depressed man/woman can think clearly enough to type as much as everyone here has, or if everything here is typed simply out of angst, rendering it all meaningless.
Tag:
think
I watch everyone’s days go on around me. I feel like in stuck in time. Depression has slowed me.
I feel even when I sleep for hours, I do not feel rejuvenated. I don’t feel good.
Even when I have the least bit of confidence, it soon diminishes after a few seconds.
I feel content for moments at a time. Yesterday I felt the warm sun . I was happy. But that feeling soon disappeared.
I think it’s hard to get better. Nothing seems to have a point. I don’t feel like there’s any reason to be alive. I don’t think my life has meaning at all.
I wish […]
No one knows how much I’m suffering . And the ones who do tell me I’m too much. So what do I do?
I’ve been going about every day all by my self . And I am alone . All my thoughts get to me . Some days I stand outside and notice how beautiful it is and feel the warm sun and close my eyes and i somehow feel content in that moment , being by my self .
Whenever I’m going to hangout with someone , they end up making excuses to why they can’t hangout. I wish people would straight up tell me they […]
Last day to get obamacare. I’m uninsured right now and not sure if I should get it. I want to get diagnosed and maybe treated but it costs me 395 a month. I think my family’s financial welfare is more important than my mental welfare. What do you guys think? Thats a lot of money a month. Might cost me less just to pay the doctor cash.
Im surfing at internet (sure) looking for any kind of help, but i’m not sure why.. maybe i want help but to tell the truth, i think it’s more about killing time because i really dont believe that i can get helped, theres no words or medication that can change who iam or worse what ive lost.
Cheers
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Son of a *****. I’m at it again, having a breakdown where no one will find me. I’m so tired, so tired (SO GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING TIRED), of not being happy. I want to be able to be content with myself. I never tell anyone I know of these breakdowns and how severe they can get because I don’t want them to think less of me. But I’m exhausted from keeping it in. I just want a hug, a soul crushing, tear gushing hug. I want to feel loved wholly, for my depression and everything else. I don’t want to hide, bu t I shall continue to […]
So, I thought I should give an update on the ‘Jehova’s Witness’ who are trying to kill me.
The year is coming to an end and the court date is drawing near. You know what that means? More threats. They want me dead as in yesterday.
Well… Whatever… A part of me doesn’t give a shit anymore.
Anyway, the harassment and threats have escalated. Since they can’t do it themselves, they have their relatives and church members do the dirty work for them. I’m in hell.
Remember I mentioned that 2 guys were shot dead a few weeks back? Well, it turns out those 2 guys were among the […]
If I were to die right now, nobody I know (in real life) would give a shit. It’s hard to want to live when nobody cares about you and you think your life is worthless, that it’s not worth living. And even worse when you can’t fucking kill yourself either, so you’re forced to be alive and miserable.
And it’s hard not to be miserable and depressed when nobody cares about you.
Bah!
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
When i was 9-10 years old, i got my first computer, and since then i began to ignore my friends and school. Even though I play video games all day, I suck at them. My family use to know me as a “computer expert”, but when they asked for my help, they see how incompetent I was at solving their problems. i don’t have any friends, i’m so stupid, i don’t even know the multiplication table, i can’t even write simple essay,i’m so lazy and bad at everything.I’m a big failure. I think of suicide everyday since i turned 17. Every time i look down from the […]
So I went to some fancy schmancy doctors in San Francisco to get the results back from my brain scans. He said that the over activity in my brain causing my anxiety was “horrifying” and could only imagine how bad it would’ve been without my current meds. The comparisons between my brain and those of a normal brain are startling in their differences. He’s putting me on yet another medication with supplements- I’m excited but sceptical. I’ve already tried so many meds…. But what have I got to lose? I got so desperate to cut that I took apart my eyeliner pencil sharpener 🙁 It […]
I don’t know if there’s a reason I’m here
I feel the only thing that’s driving me is reason and fear
And seeing death to me conceivably near
So I don’t give a fuck what you think about me reaching for beer
I don’t worry anymore about what my friends do
I have a more urgent matter to attend to
Is there something there bigger when I die and vanish?
That weaves everyone and everything into a canvas
I’m not smart enough to think I have a resolution
I’ll never be a man with mediocre constitution
My father told me that blood and power intoxicate
So it turns out that I’m on antidepressants now, a weak dosage. It’s not doing anything and tomorrow this when I’m going to see my doctor who prescribed them to me to gain my dosage because it’s not changing my depressing and suicidal thoughts.
Right now I can’t stop thinking about slicing my wrists open and seeing my crimson blood run down my arms, the urge is too strong. It’s all I can think about and I hate it. I’m trying to fight through it for my best friend and my family.
I feel scared, hopeless, I don’t even feel like I’m in my own […]
If you lived near someone else on here, do you think you’d want to be friends with them in real life? Would you want to meet someone on here? Or do you like the practically total anonymity?
just curious.
Hello loves 🙂 So I haven’t been feeling exactly chipper lately, and I think I’ve found something helpful.
You can go somewhere you think no one will hear you, or you can just stay in your house. Grab your pillow if you want to try and muffle the sound- but I recommend just letting it out.
Now, take a deep breath (haha see what I did there) and just scream your freaking head off.
Now I don’t mean a half assed yell- I mean a fucking battlecry against everything you’ve ever faced as a challenge or a foe.
Just a suggestion
There’s parts in this where I forgot to think before I spoke. It happens. I corrected myself though.
https://youtu.be/lmB2dJDPQtQ
For a while now I’ve contemplated suicide. I believe it’s the easiest way out. No, I don’t think running away from problems is going to solve them but I do know that after trying your hardest to solve them with absolutely no solution, running is your only option. And after running and running and running you get tired. I’m tired. Tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of breathing, tired of existing. I just feel like, if I die, everything will be better. I feel like the minute I swallow those pills or that poison or from the moment I jump, everything […]
All the memories just replay in my head over and over. The good ones make me think how can this possibly be happening when things were so good? And the bad ones make me wonder what I did wrong and think of a million other ways I could have done things differently. Just over and over and over.
The only time I get away is if my sleeping pills work or I’m asleep. I feel like if I had the access and knowledge I would become an addict to something because I can’t imagine living a life being haunted by memories. How am I supposed to […]