come to think about it my lifes been a mess from the start from around 8 all iv knew is pain and suffering and reality it hard to bare I now understand why I used to drink and smoke weed everyday been sober for 3 years reality is hard mentally there a lot going on that I cant cope with it all my whole lifes been a dream I could see my self from a distance but can’t stop my self
I promised on killing myself on April 6th.
But now I realize I have no time.
I need to get everything organized. But I don’t wanna change the date.
ARGHHHHH.
Lord. lord lord lord.
You know what I hate? Today I am in a good mood. You know that scares me.
Because now I just think, “Wow….What if on April 6th I am in a good mood?”
I don’t have the rope ready!
Dear god its so close I don’t have time!!!!
I DON’T WANNA CHANGE THE DATE SOMEONE HELP.
I don’t think there’s much need to go into detail. I’ve tried to get on with my situation but unfortunately it’s just not going to work out. I’ve made my decision, I’ve given life a fair shot and am not acting on a spur of the moment emotion.
So I’ve been giving it some serious thought and one of my main problems is as the title says. I’m not sure whether I should just start cutting people off and getting them out of my life or not. I’m a patient person and can easily wait up to a couple of years before doing the deed, which […]
I fucking hate myself im so shit at almost everything i try even when i really try i still fail. I never apply myself, im lazy, i lack enthusiasm and drive, i think too much, i dont get the simpler stuff, im fucked in the head in some way or another or multiple i just know it.
Dont bother commenting or do but im going to bed so laters peeps.
Watched the film legend was an ok film I guess the only part I liked was when he’s girl friend commit suicide I thought I wish it was that easy to to I envy people that succeed
I feel life isn’t for everyone and I’m one of them people how can you enjoy life if all u no is pain suffering heartbreak and self destruction ? It’s not fun there no enjoyment here live life if only they knew it’s survival there a big difference
how can u think positive if u living in darkness were the light in the dark ?
Dear Anon( u kno who u are),
I hope you still get a spark in your eye when you think of me. I’ve went through all my journals and there was a lot of things that I wasn’t proud of writing so I ripped out the entries I’d written that were penned in anger and I’m summing up the rest here. The things that still stick in my mind had the longest entries. Like the time we first met and the time we first made love; those two moments bring tears to my eyes and make me forget any bad stuff for awhile. I also have […]
I used to think that funerals were for the dead, to let them depart and celebrate their life but now I know they are just for the living, for the people to say goodbye and help mourn the loss. Thats why when I take my life I’m gonna have in the letter that I wanna be cremated because I dont want my body to be left here in the ground I want it burned away as my soul goes on.
Also whats your guys thoughts on burials/cremation??
good night my SP family il leaving my email here if anyone what’s to chat advice or support don’t hesitate we all struggling here some more then others supports a good think and I love all u guys to Xxx stay strong to morrow the battle continues D
Indigojones5@gmail.com
When uv been depressed and suicidal for a long time you start to embrace the darkness finding ways to stay alive in the dark fog by self harming changing one pain for another only thing that helps emotional pain and thinking of death can calm ones active mind thinkin of a method iv got 3 methods to choose from OD not to keen on hanging might need to think more about needs planning and drinking poison need to do research or try the wrist
i don’t do highs and trains think it’s brutal shotgun to the face is the dream I feel so calm talking about […]
I’m so sick of being away from home for college. I used to hate being home but now I miss it more than anything. I’m sitting at my bedroom door listening to my roommates openly talk shit about me. This is why I have insecurity issues and think people are talking about me whenever I leave the room, because they are.
so fucking tired having to wake up at 6 am and basically run up and down stairs all day I’m mentally and physically drained plus i don’t really want to be alive but I ain’t really got a choice right now and now il feel guilty if I try again but it’s only a matter of time I guess I just hope I get it right next time unless things magically get better which I don’t think is going to happen so I’m kind of I’m limbo again
how’s everyone in suicide club today ?
my mom noticed the long scar on my arm when i rolled my sleeve up a little to wash my hands. god did i panic. i told her my friend’s cat scratched me ages ago and that it was my fault since i bothered it… i think she bought it but christ was i scared. i didn’t want another sobbing lecture about how selfish i am and how much i need jesus. (or worse, another expensive visit to the ER.)
hey does anyone here play fire emblem fates? it’s been good at keeping me distracted from suicidal ideation. i love a good […]
As I sit in lonely silence
I realize my violence
I look to see my scars
And I wish upon the stars
For something simply brighter
Than trying to be a fighter
I’ve never felt so tired
It was you that I admired
You left me in the dust
When I thought that I could trust
All you said were lies
So I gave them a disguise
My immature mind
Made me think that you were kind
I would make this the end
But I feel I should defend
All the things you said
Didn’t want me to be dead
I know I love you […]
I think this is awesome sadly iv got most of them š
-Pat
-Max
the doctor said I got -Andy
and now sending me somewhere else because they think iv now got -Ben
-Isaiah
-sam
-Dan
-Dallas
I’m alone. If this website has taught me anything, it’s that I’m not alone. That pain, guilt, shame, anger and sorrow echo deep inside many of us at every moment of the day. That any moment can be our last or can be our turning point. I will keep struggling today because I know things always change. Often they change back and I’m left desiring the epic release of death but at least for a moment I know I might not feel that way. I’m not sure i’d say that moment is worth it but I have nothing else to look forward to.
I wish you […]
I was fine… for a while. I thought I would make my life easier by pushing away my friends. Now I’m alone- during school, at home- basically everywhere. Its been awhile since I last posted an update, because I felt better. But depression has reared its ugly head again, so here I am. Tonight is one of those nights when I just can’t snap out of it. All I can think about is merciful death. Absence from school is a common occurrence these days because of depression. This just makes it harder to catch up and maintain good grades. I have no motivation to do […]
You know sometimes I really frigging think to myself, (LIKE RIGHT NOW):
“FUCKING. SNAP. OUT. OF. IT.”
No yah. Its true. Just snap out if it. There IS no sadness.There is no stress. There is no problem. Get up and move on and live life “normally” because that exists for a damn reason.
But you know what? I can’t,”snap out of it”. I can’t wake up one day and be OK. I can’t pretend I am fine. I can’t because I am NOT.
But still,
once more,
“snap out of it. Everything is fine.”
Sure.
But maybe I’m not.
What is life ?
For meĀ life is just a fuckingĀ bullshitĀ because i live like a dead person in this fucking world .
I always hated myself and my stupid life , and since i became a teenager i always wanted to die and lived with the suicidal thoughts every fucking night , it was the only thing i wanted because i just wanted to be free by dying than living in this shitty world .
Even though i always wanted to die , i just couldn’t suicide or even hurt myself because i was just scared, so instead of doing it i was just crying , because i was […]
If you’re in the US, wouldn’t it be crazy if a group of us got together and lived in a place together? Helping each other financially, emotionally, contributing together.. It’s probably crazy.. But for those who have no one, like me, i think its the best thing we could ask for right now.. And im all for it, if anyone else is..
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