Tag:

thought

by Nihilism000 6/30/2015

written by Nihilism000

I hate my life, I hate who I am, I hate that I ever existed here. I know full well I will never amount to anything,.my family thinks I’m so smart, and I go along, no I’m not smart…if I was I wouldn’t be in this mess I’m in.

I really don’t deserve this life, I don’t deserve to be alive. I don’t why I’m saying this, I just had a moment of thought. I have alot of time alone and it gives me too much time inside my own head.

There seems to be no way to break this, I see the future as hope…because I […]

6/30/2015 2 comments

My Dream Is Crashing Down

by GerbzBaby 6/29/2015

written by GerbzBaby

Ever since I was little I’ve always wanted to be an artist. An artist who could draw anything or anyone if I set my mind to it. I would always fantasize what It’d be like to be one of those ‘famous artists’ who people look up to (no one has ever looked up to me for anything and when people have ill tell you it’s a real honor). But it’s been years now and my art skills are starting to lack more than it ever has before.

Every time I come across an amazing drawing I start to feel angry and sad.. wondering why my art […]

6/29/2015 6 comments

Expiration date nearing

by Solja 6/28/2015

written by Solja

To put it bluntly I am 40 yrs old, apparently an attractive and intelligent guy, cultured and well traveled. Been on too many dates to count over the past 2 years but have lost interest in meaningless sex and meaningless relationships, the thought of continuing on this course for another 20 years just brings me to my knees in absolute pain and hopelessness. The people around me have their own problems and wouldn’t want to hear about my bullshit pain so obviously I can’t open up and tell anyone how bad it has gotten without burdening them or being called mentally ill. What I don’t […]

6/28/2015 2 comments

I’m not looking for sympathy

by onkerio 6/27/2015

written by onkerio

It’s funny actually. How life plays out slowly. And sometimes painfully. I guess I have no explainable reason I want to commit suicide. There are reasons. Believe me there. Very deep reasons. I have thought long and hard about this. And I have made up my mind. That I am taking my life. I am not writing this in sought for. Help one would say.. Buy more in the form of. The finale will redemption. I have no one to give anything to so it’s very bothering.
I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I am very young. Very young indeed. I have a very active […]

6/27/2015 7 comments

Friday to Monday

by deerdezz 6/25/2015

written by deerdezz

There won’t be anyone home besides myself. Friends and loved ones have been pushed away. I’ve been trying to use this time to think about ways to get better. Ways to change but something inside puts a halt to those thoughts…

I don’t want to get better. Things just need to cease going on. Whether it’s the world or just my world. Because the colors been drained, there is no more energy to care. Taking something hot or sharp to soft skin is all I really put effort into. If not that then other ways to wind up hurt. Brusies and scrapes, nicks and cuts…never have […]

6/25/2015 0 comment

No Note.

by pradleysmith 6/21/2015

written by pradleysmith

zero apologies

a french exit of parallel thought.

6/21/2015 1 comment

moon

by silvermoon 6/20/2015

written by silvermoon

i write the moon for you

the sad silver part

you thought would never shine

for you

i write the waves for you, soft currents

i know your pain is so immense

the moments they rejected you

let the waves wash healing waters

over all of you

let the moon cast away the darkness

with its silver beauty

forked tongue not of death but licking you clean

let the honey wash and heal you

i know this road is bitter

trust me, my darling

and some day let every word you could never utter

be spoken

like beauty

pearled

6/20/2015 6 comments

I hate business ! I hate money ! I hate capitalism / capitalist !

by niki 6/19/2015

written by niki

I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !

The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”

money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !

plus , the world becomes a boring […]

6/19/2015 4 comments

For the first time…

by Jess 6/15/2015

written by Jess

For the first time in a long time I’ve thought about killing myself. It’s strange, because I don’t feel the same despair I used to feel, the anguish and hopelessness that came with my suicidal… “Fits”. But the thought is there, pushing at the back of my mind, drilling its way to the centre of my attention. Just a few hours and freedom is ours. I can’t believe it’s happening again…

6/15/2015 1 comment

so how does this work?

by fumanchu 6/14/2015

written by fumanchu

I mean i’ ve never done this before,”speak in public”. The only thing i ve ever said in public was a druken “just stitch me up and let me go home,i need some sleep”. Yes i attemped a suicide 2 years ago only to find out that i was far more messed up than i thought. I will spare you the details.
This is more of a desperate move, i actually don’t want to talk, but the whole idea,and site which i found looking for the right,or wrong, dose of sleeping pills,distacted me so… I have gone really far since then. I got into a […]

6/14/2015 1 comment

Lonely

by starsign 6/14/2015

written by starsign

I really don’t know what I expected from them. They don’t care about me and it’s not the fact that they don’t but the fact that I ever thought they did. I care so much about them and I just want someone to talk too that doesn’t make me feel as if just being around them is a burden..but I don’t have anyone at this point and I dont think I have ever been this lonely..

6/14/2015 3 comments

10-14-2010

by Sammi6xoxo 6/13/2015

written by Sammi6xoxo

Rest assured i cannot think
Close your eyes begin to sink
kiss the hand of fear so sweet
let this silence be my treat

hear the voices in your head
let them fill you up with dread
they can get inside your mind
tell me now what they would find

would there be a shining sea
would it turn black from all the grief
where does this train of thought lead
are you ashamed for me to see

let this silence be my treat
kiss the hand of […]

6/13/2015 12 comments

I know nobody will read this :(

by ewusorry 6/11/2015

written by ewusorry

Well when I was little I had the best life I didn’t care what people thought, loved my life, loved my family, friends, oh man I had lots of friends. And I loved it I tried my best to be nice. Well on May 28th 2011 EVERYTHING changed for me and my dad. My mom past away and I miss her so much to this day. Shortly after that school got bad I started getting bullied I lost all my friends so I shut myself in my room 24/7 never talked and thought to myself what did I do? now I have bad anxiety/social problems. […]

6/11/2015 4 comments

Suicide & Therapy

by Indigo11 6/8/2015

written by Indigo11

I’ve been on this website for about a week now.

I’m in therapy. I have been for numerous different reasons since I was 11, now 33.

I’ve told my therapist about being suicidal, that I have plans, that there are constant images at night, and I have access to guns.

Everything I’ve said is ignored. I don’t talk to friends or family about any of this – because I’m the one that everyone depends on to help them with their issues (doesn’t help that all of them know my degree is in psychology).

I’ve started developing better assertiveness skills… but the suicide stuff won’t stop.

I’m seen as “being ok” […]

6/8/2015 8 comments

The Insignificant

by dankrause01 6/8/2015

written by dankrause01

My younger self would probably find me registering to this site both trivial and selfish. Why am I selfish? Why do my peers and contemporaries deem it selfish to want to end all this? No, they’re selfish for wanting to keep the hollow vessel which has become my very being here and pretending that everything is copacetic. Well it’s not and hasn’t been for so long and for just as long I’ve been pretending everything is okay. I don’t have the will to kill myself but I desperately want out. Everyday is exactly the same. Sure we can try to throw spontaneity in place of […]

6/8/2015 2 comments

Confusion

by KH 6/8/2015

written by KH

Hello,

So today was a pretty bad day for me. I got sent home from school because I couldn’t stop crying. Well, I told them the reason was because of a bad headache, but in reality I just couldn’t find the strength to get through the day. The thought of walking around and talking to people who I know don’t like me, the thought of simply being somewhere I don’t belong scared me. So I cried. I continued to do so until I got home where I finally slept. But my dreams were simply filled with horrific scenarios which I dare not repeat for thought of […]

6/8/2015 6 comments

When is it time?

by Estelwen 6/8/2015

written by Estelwen

I’ve thought about killing myself almost daily since I was 12 years old. I am now 25. My plan/methods became more refined as I got older until I reached a detailed, effective plan. I feel as though I am marching inexorably towards my suicide, even if there is still a very small part of me that doesn’t really want to die. Every time that little part gets drowned out by the suicidal thoughts, I seize the opportunity to purchase another piece of equipment or put another affair in order. Everything is almost ready.

How do I know when it’s time to go?

While I’m at it, in support […]

6/8/2015 2 comments

Am I Really Going To Try Or Not?

by NotQuiteSure 6/6/2015

written by NotQuiteSure

I’m not sure where I am within my own mind.

There are the empty days where everything washes over me, I don’t feel particularly happy or particularly sad just ‘there’. The okay days where I feel active n life. And then there are bad days where I find myself dwelling in things long ago past, where I end up on websites such as these or thinking about how I would go about doing it.

All hypothetical of course. I think about methods ‘hypothetical’. Telling myself that I’d never have the courage to do it.

But, recently I wrote my ‘hypothetical’ notes to the people I love. Does that […]

6/6/2015 0 comment

Just To See If I Can

by aaxxoo7 6/4/2015

written by aaxxoo7

Ever since I was younger, I have always put on a mask. I only let people see what I want them to see. And what I let them see is me, happy, hardworking, selfless, caring, okay. But because of this, I always end up bottling up the bad thoughts and feelings inside of me.

I have a great life compared to many people. I know this. I have great parents who love and support me. I get good grades in school. I’m from an upper middle-class family. I go to a great university and know I can go to a great graduate school. I’m healthy. I’m selfless, respectful, […]

6/4/2015 1 comment

The pit

by gonegirl48 6/3/2015

written by gonegirl48

I live a life of missing others. Whether it is due to death or just the fact that my best friends live 700 miles away, every morning when i wake up I have a long list of those I miss. When I miss someone so much it causes a sort of “pit” in my stomach that makes me not want to be here anymore. It sounds ridiculous- i know. The fact that just missing someone can cause such emotion and thought, but I believe it is more than that. The emotion of missing someone can be overwhelming. I dont just miss people, but also who […]

6/3/2015 1 comment

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