If someone asked me why I want to kill myself, why I want to be dead, what would I say? I don’t have a real reason anymore. I know I can fix things in my life to get better. I have someone helping me figure out my future. I have goals in my life. I want to start a family. I want to write a book. I want to be a teacher. But I also want to kill myself. I don’t know the reason anymore for it. There are small issues in my life, but I’m trying to fix them. I am. I’m trying so […]
I thought I was slowly getting better. I feel terrible all over again. Family is planning to go to the beach tomorrow, after visiting the cemetery. This just reminded me that we were at the beach 6 days before my brother died. He was talking about life, my life. How important it is that I hold on. But I cant. Not without him.
Just now, my parents told me that my cousin commited suicide because he couldnt deal with my brother’s death. They had said his death was an accident. He died just weeks after my brother died.
I see myself cutting tonight or getting […]
I’ve decided that I won’t kill myself on the 30th. After all, someone told me that one, my family and friends will be grieving and that if I kill myself, I might give a lot of people despair. Second, my dreams – to be a ballet dancer, to be friends with my crush (which is kind of weird to be placed here, heh), and to serve the country as a scientist – will all be lost when I die. Third is that I want to let other depressed and suicidal people live and know that we can all defeat our suicidal thoughts and not let […]
Hi I’m celina, I am 14 years old, and I have a problem And I think I need help. It all started four years ago ,I was 11 at that time in 6th grade. In the mid way of the school year ending, I thought about cutting . I thought it would be a very odd for some one to cut them self , and I want to know why and how does it feel and what do you use? All question in my head so I did at least try it. I used a pin and well no blood just a white line , […]
It’s been a while but sadly i’m back here, anonymously telling the world my thoughts.
I made it a good two months through school without cutting. But i’m starting to act up again. Less than a month away till exams and as usual I can’t cope with the stress in my life. Everyday for the past 6 years I have thought about killing myself. Not once have i had a day of a peaceful mind. But it times like this, when i’m under to much stress that I can’t just push away these thoughts. Its times like this i sit on my bed starting at my […]
Right now all I want is to be held, and told that I’m ok. I’m not ok. It doesn’t feel like I ever will be. Maybe at some distant point down the road, I’ll find that I’ve somehow become worthy of love, and worthy of life. But right now I am alone. I see no way through. Why go on, when you don’t really believe the destination exists? Because the hope of it is all you have left.
I have been putting a lot of thought into religion lately and I get it. Religion is important in a lot of peoples lives and they get angry when you want to freely discuss god instead of blindly follow. A good friend of mine killed herself a few years back. We were part of the Jehovah’s witness cult and she had voices in her head telling her to hurt herself. She went to the elders of the church (because that’s what you would do) and they told her she needed to pray more. Not one of those motherfuckers though maybe she should go to see […]
Do you ever just sit down, zone out, and think about how weird life is? I mean, we are all living off of our brain. Our brain controls what we do, how we behave. Our bones, muscles, skin.. Those are just the extras.
I’ve met someone. He isn’t the most loved guy in our grade. He told me he was scared. People are starting to hurt him PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. He is so afraid of everyone. I’ve realized that so many people are so damn negative and I don’t understand anymore! It’s fucking 2015! How much longer do we have to struggle through this?
I need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. My deppresion feels so strong and I just want to self harm again to take away this pain I feel inside. I told this person how I really felt about him and we were really close friends and he led me on, but he told me that he was talking to someone else. I hope everything goes well with him and her but now I feel so heartbroken. I feol for him hard. now a fake smile is what plays outs on my face. What should I do?
Let me start out with a list of things that’s wrong with me
I’m fat I’m stupid (failing 3 classes in school) I mess up people’s day get called names by my parents and I mess up things in general.
I’ve been diagnosed with depression
I want to die and I deserve to anyway
I’m a burden to my 3 friends and family because of these reasons and others.
When someone’s having a good time or having fun ill say something and then ruin there time
I swear my parents hate me they’ve call me lazy ignorant a whiny little ***** they’ve told me to screw of cause I was trying […]
I need to get the hell out of here.
Friend #1 called the cops on me and told them some lie about me wanting to do some murder-suicide shit to my boyfriend. I got mad at her, and she told everyone around me that lie. Because how dare I get upset, how dare I swear at her for calling the cops out of nowhere and in the middle of the night.
Now my neighbors think i’m a danger to their children and call them inside everytime I leave my house.
Then there’s Friend #2. He walks up to me at work, accompanied by his buddy, and […]
I always have dreams about a friend who killed him self when he was on lsd. He took it and walked onto the interstate and ran in front of a car and died later in the hospital . We all knew he committed suicide . He always told us he wouldn’t live to see 21 but none of us knew he was depressed . But in my dreams he’s always giving me life talks and cheering me up . I really feel like it has a meaning. I really think he’s visiting me in a way .
That’s nothing new… hundreds of YouTube trolls told me that long ago. Anyway, I begged and kept on about trying to hang with the guy I like and I’m at the place he’s living now and about 8 people live here. Naturally there’s not much interaction and I’ve talked more to the other friend who does graphics design for a living and we compared work and gave tips to each other. And I’m staring at him like the piece of meat he is. Like a fat kid looking into a bakery when it’s closed for the night… looking at him and being unable to deny […]
I was 21 years old when I visited a local Doctor who was well known as the guy to see if you wanted anabolic steroids. I explained to him how I had been training and trying to change my body as I had no confidence in the way I looked. I explained how I was not confident enough to ever have a relationship or go on a date. He asked lots of questions and I admitted to having panic attacks when I would go out to clubs with friends on a Friday or Saturday night. I felt like […]
A so called ‘friend’ of mine found my blog. My blog where I have no one I know in real life on, and he called me out on it all. He called me out on things that werent what he thought, and told me to ‘stop posting about mental illnesses bc i dont have one’. Can we talk about how inconsiderate that is? Its worse now than when I last fell out with my friends and I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to head downhill any further. I want help. Ive never said it before but I honestly want help bc […]
So there’s this guy that I’ve been talking to for more than a month and he’s depressed he really needs help he’s been through a world of pain I want him to get help so bad but I don’t think he’ll listen to me he told me last night that he wants to kill him self he said he won’t do it now but one day he will explode and do it he really needs help but how do I convince him to get help I love him very much and he loves me to and no matter what I will always be by his […]
I’m twenty-year-old female. I live alone and I’m in my 2nd year of college. I’m struggling with depression since I was 12. My mum had depression and I think she passed it on to me. All I think about everyday is how I can kill myself; I spend hours thinking how and I don’t have answers. I don’t have a “bad” life, I mean I have everything, but I’m still not happy. Last year I messed it up. I don’t know how I fell in love with my best friend’s dad, and I tried everything to stop it, but I couldn’t. When his family found […]
A/N: I’m sugar coating this because some points I refuse to go back too.
I was brought into this world, unwilling, unwanted. I have always been told my birth wasn’t planned. I was born with multiple issues with my lungs and heart, and I go to hospital at least twice a year. Since I was little I have had to look after myself and was punished if I didn’t meet my mothers standards “Perfection” everything must be. I was always left home with my drug afflicted father, mother was always “working” my family sees me as a trophy to show off to people and neglect when […]
Yesterday I was feeling really depressed. I just get out of bed to take the dog out and I went to a dinner with my classmates. Of course I get drunk. But instead of being happy and a silly drunk this time I started crying. I ruined the my friends’ dinner and I cried all night. They tried to comfort me but I was so embarrassed I just wanted to disappear. They are really good friends but I don’t deserve them. I left the restaurant without mobile phone and no money and went for a walk alone. Meanwhile I get lost in the city, but […]
So this is going to be long and grammar has never been my strong point. Plus I cracked my screen really bad so it’s hard to type. Maybe getting it out will help, maybe not. Either way I have to try something to help.
I Had a rough childhood starting when I was 6 was when I first remember wanting to die. I never fit in.
Continue on and I never had any friends. Not once did a boy ever show interest in me (even the cute kindergarten crushes). I always felt broken.
When hen I hit puberty I gained a lot of weight and my mom decided […]