I wanted to write, but now I can’t think of the words. Im trying to stay positive and move forward. I admit I took a few steps back, but Im looking for a brightside, trying to keep my head up. But I worry. Worry about my actions and what I want. I wish I had the words so this post would make sense.
Tag:
trying
I don’t really know how to start this post or how to explain but since I don’t feel comfortable enough trying to talk to anyone I might as well put my thoughts out into the open. The only way to explain it is that I’m simply tired of being alive. I wouldn’t say I was suicidal as I very highly doubt I would ever find it in me to take my own life, however I don’t fear death and if it happened then that’s that. I wake up every day feeling like I’m simply trying to kill off time, like I’m not making any use […]
I’ve given up. It was the other day I decided to not message the guy I love again, but then by chance he ended up sending me a message. However, I’m still resolving myself to just give up. I know I’m not important and I have no place.
Odd that I’d finally get around to trying to complete his promise to me since he never will. I just pored the shit, so, if it comes out at all, it’s gonna be seriously jacked. The mold was split in half and in 3 sections. Took a shit ton of work to try to seal it up. Best […]
Hello. Nice to meet you. This happens to be my first post here.
This justa lameass rant. It’s probably not worth your time. Okay, so I’ve been going through this website for a while. I made an account but I let it go though because things started looking up. I thought this year would have been great but … Shit happened. I have two amazing friends both have gone through tough spots and understand me.
One of them has gotten depressed recently. He’s about a month older then me but I think of him as a younger brother. He tried to commit suicide. He was asking about […]
How easy it is to feel badly. To let yourself go into that place
When you want so much, but have so little motivation.
You begin to blame yourself. Maybe others. Maybe a combination, that it began with them but now it’s just you.
And I should probably just be saying I, because it might not be relevant to you.
I can’t succeed. Most of me doesn’t want to, and everyday I tell myself today doesn’t matter, because tomorrow I will make myself not be here. I will make myself irrelevant. I will kill myself. But tomorrow comes, and I haven’t.
I’ve become addicted to procrastination. Sex. Love. […]
I used to be a member here.
I have a very bad habbit. I get attached so easily. I was on this site before. May be a month before or may be a year before or may be 5 years before (which I am not gonna tell). I shared alot. But eventually I have to stop. Because I felt really bad because I got closed to few people on this site. Whenever I post something, everyone replied. They felt bad because of me. So I aslo felt bad because I made them felt bad.
I’m too complicated person. I’m mentally not healthy. My condition is getting […]
I know pills are the least effective method, more likely to leave me brain damaged. I really don’t want to risk that- I don’t have enough klonopin to lethally overdose, but if I mixed it with other meds it might be enough. But there’s still the risk of surviving- maybe taking trazodone with it will make it lethal, but maybe not. I’m not too concerned about the pain of it, as long as it kills me- I probably deserve the pain.
I know losing me will be devastating to my family, to the few friends I have. But that isn’t enough for me to want to […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
It seems many of us, men, here at SP struggle or have struggled with problems related to the opposite sex, messed up relationships, stalkig exes, or like me years of constant rejection, being friendzoned, women mistaking kindness for weakness and taking advantage of it and walking over us.
And you know what?
I’m 27 and i dont know why or how but about 3/4 years ago a sudden changed occurred …. i just stoped bothering with it at all, suddenly i dont care if women notice me or not, i walk by a gorgeous woman on the street with the same indiferrence that i walk by a […]
I see my doctor on Tuesday. I need to talk to him about things I’m not completely honest about with my psychiatrist or therapist. The only problem is I’m concerned he’ll side with them. My last therapist wouldn’t say a bad word about my psychiatrist, or any other doctor for that matter, and I’m afraid he will do the same. I don’t think he would, but it all comes down to how deep my psychiatrist has her claws in him. If she’s turned him against me, too; if she’s going to make him try to hurt me as well. I want a new psychiatrist, I […]
I too was rejected and friendzoned for most my life.. I know those feelings and im a stick no muscle. I think im confident. Maybe im not.. But internet sites makes meeting and dating easier. Even for ppl like you and I. I believe in the words “just keep trying”. I always been told someone will come along.. Or you’ll meet someone blah blah. It totally affect my thoughts and feelings towards how i looked at myself and how i thought others viewed me.. Im in my 30’s single, living with parents and unemployed. Im only going to hope that you keep trying even when […]
This page is a graveyard. This page is where we come to die. We stop by for a fleeting moment, trying to write something of meaning, to express the void that encompasses our lives. Soon enough though, we get bored of this site to, and we move on.
“Could it be possible! This old saint in his woods has not yet heard the news that God is dead!” – Nietzsche
If I can remember correctly I got depression two years ago when I was 13. I only had it for a little bit and at the time I had no idea why I was so sad and what depression really meant. I started ignoring the feeling and I believe I wasn’t sad, but I still struggled to get by.
About five months ago I got really depressed, and it was quite severe still I managed to do things. About three months ago it slowly got worse and I couldn’t concentrate for very long, I started trying to get away from people, I have plans to leave […]
This may be my last post, for a while. Contemplating some things right now, trying to solve my life’s puzzle yet again. I’m missing a piece and it bothers me. Anyways, bye everyone (for now)
-glockamole
I started getting involved in things I do love. I hung out with family today, even though I didnt want to. I tried being nice, also I didn’t want to. I’m applying to jobs, reading and talking about the walking dead books and show.. And doing things I love. I watched tv. Again. I like the show fargo. About to watch homeland. And I’m figuratively and literally putting one foot in front of the other.. Even though it hurts. I’m always going to try bettering myself.. I hate that it took 8 months to cope and maybe more.. But I’m trying and it does feel […]
So I tend to assume that the problem is me. With the destructive ways of thinking and habits that I cling to. Or with my defective body. With my distorted, twisted personality. I look at the people around me, and think ‘They look happy. I should be like them.’
If I could only be like everyone else, and feel a sense of meaningful connection with others, then my life would be worth living. It gives me something to aspire to. Got to find a way to fix myself, and then everything will be ok. Or, if that’s not possible, got to keep a lid on my […]
I swear I could have blown my brains out this evening if I had a Gun in my vicinity. Damn, I got a bad panic attack and everything around me became a blur, migraines etc I hate these Panic Attacks … Not sure they are a result of me trying to wean myself off of meds…
Uhmm, I mean to ask …. Has anyone here on SP ever Over Dosed on Anti-depressants ???
Memories are flashing through my head constantly now like a movie stuck on replay. All of my mistakes and superficial triumphs… In an effort to escape them, I resorted to my old self-harm habits: hair pulling, scratching, biting and eye gouging… With the very hand that is trying to rip away the past reflected in the eye above, so will it end the future. I find it ironic that if I came to SP sooner, I might have not “thrown away my ex due to depression” venting on here instead. Oh well… That superficial nymphomaniac probably would have dumped me anyway since I might as […]
Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.
So, um, how do I start this? I’m clinically depressed and have been suicidal for a while too. I guess I just want to have someone to talk to. My story doesn’t really matter. We’re all fucked up here and that’s the reason to why we’re here.
Anyways, if anyone wants to talk about, well anything, let me know. Whoever decides to contact me should know that I don’t want ‘help’.
I guess most of us here are alive but feel dead. Some of us are waiting for our physical bodies to catch up with out mental state whilst others are trying to fix themselves. We’re all broken. Some just […]