Sitting at the top of the stairs and I can hear you all talking about me. Saying I’m worthless. Saying I’m a terrible daughter. I’m not supposed to be listening, but I’m sitting at the top of the stairs and I can still hear you. Mom, you make me want to kill myself. Dad, where are you now? Sister, why are you adding to the pain that I’ve told you I feel a thousand times? I’m the one that everyone hates. I’m the one that everyone wishes was gone. I can hear you talking about me. Someone help.. I feel like I’m seeking attention posting […]
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want
My step dad is drunk, he keeps yelling at my mom and saying how much he hates me. I was in the basement and he started yelling at me and calling me an asshole. My mom tried to get him to stop but then he attacked her and he grabbed by neck and pushed me against the wall. He’s never done this before, he keeps saying he’s getting a divorce and that it’s half my fault. I really don’t want him to hurt my mom or my sister.
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Isit wrong to say that iv had enough of living ? I feel iv done enough and seen enough life sucks now how the hell isit going to be better the olderI get ? even as I child I didn’t want to live a long life Im kind of greatful I made it to 26 let alone 62 that means iv lived two life times in my eyes thought my time would come when I was 18 I wanted to die then and I still do now a decade later I’m still here by gods will I’ll live up to 99 I bet no physical […]
I sometimes wish to die even though I’m not depressed. I don’t want to sound psychopathic, but I guess I like the word death. I want to get away with this world. I hate myself. I’m fat, stupid, insane, selfish… I don’t actually know my real personality. It changes every time I feel different, or when the place changes. Please, don’t hate on me or something… This is my first post and my only place I can be me, maybe. I hope I can find my real self one day.
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I don’t know why I care so much, but yet I do. My ex is about to be homeless and penniless without a soul on earth around to help. He lives in Alaska so yeah pretty damn far away. His mom could pass away any day now. I’m scared of what could end up happening to him knowing his tendency to drink. He’s been sober for about 6 months just out of being penniless and having no way to get any money. I don’t want him in bad shape, in jail or dead. I’m so afraid for him and there’s nothing I can do.
So here i am in church and the only thing i want to do is leave and and cut myself he is talking about depression. So its not like i cant.Relate but i cant breath and i want ro leave i understand what the pastor is saying.but i cant. All he talking about is suicide and o get god you you dont like it i want do it. Dont give up in your convince and hope and you will be rewarded. Ok i get but damn. I cant breath and I want to leave .
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Let’s laugh a bit. I remember when I was 16 an entered chatroullete. I admit, I was proud that I was having muscles and stuff. But I was not very interested in hooking girls. And then one girl appeared, and I was drinking juice and she was like, I just want your juicy cock, hahahaha. And she was spamming, fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me . And then she said, deeper, harder, cum and she turned on the shit out of me . Hahahaha, I may die next week, let’s laugh.
Why can’t life be simple why is there so much pain and suffering why do we always want the things we can’t have were the light st the end of the tunnel when do we get to find happiness ? When u been suicidal for so long u start to question you existence what is the real meaning of life ? Iv bad enough of it all ready
I decided last night to sleep on it and I’ve decided, I think today is the day. Thank you all for just being here; it was nice to be able to talk about my feelings somewhere.
I’m afraid but I know what I have to do. I’m only 15 and I know I am missing important things in my potential future but I can’t care anymore. I am most sorry about the scene this will cause and the people I’ll be hurting, but I just don’t want to live anymore and they’ve got to realize it’s for the best.
I hope all of you feel better, you […]
I finally realized that I’m depressed; and death enters my mind like a lost cat tiptoeing in my mind, giving a small purr. I’ve never been good at life. It feels like a job. Even when I was young, I wished for death. It’s strange hoping to die when you’re 10 years old.
I read Anne Sexton’s poetry all of the time, like they’re my words:
“Even then I have nothing against life. I know well the grass blades you mention, the furniture you have placed under the sun. But suicides have a special language. Like carpenters they want to know which tools. They never ask why […]
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My counselor told me that I need to spend time with people, that I’m alone too much. So I’ve been trying to spend time with people, people at school, people at work. I’ve been planning stuff with buddies and spending a lot of time with people who I can call buddies. The problem is that I still don’t feel right. See, before this I was always down and depressed and alone, but when I wasn’t alone I would sometimes (rarely) talk about my pain to people who I kind of trust (I don’t trust very much or very often), and I would feel this connection […]
I know everything happens for a reason but I would like to know the fuckin reason
when I was 18 I lost a good friend of mine I alway wanted God/creator or the universes what ever u want to call it to take me instead I prayed that we could change places cause I know I ain’t shit and I going to be shit 8 years later I’m more suicidal and I’m still here suffering more and I know my friend would of done more with hes life I still don’t want to be here but I feel I don’t have a choice
do u think it’s […]
Just a thought, but does any one else feel the weight of your future, and notice how light it is? Do you feel like whatever lies in front of you will be so minuscule that it’s not really worth fighting for such a small success? I don’t know, call me a whiny ***** but I can’t really get my mind off of it lately. I guess I give off the same vibes as any other depressed, jobless sonofabitch. But I can’t say I blame me, or anyone else for feeling that way. When you get sucked into a state of depression, or are overpowered by your […]
It just makes me angry I guess. Them thinking that the moment they found out I was suicidal, that I suddenly got better in the blink of an eye, after a freaking year of thoughts about ways to die, and what dying would feel like.
I hate that they think I’m all better now. I hate them for thinking that they can fix me. I hate them for thinking I’m sick. I hate them for thinking that I know nothing about what’s going on around me. I DO! I know more than they do, I know exactly what I was doing, that’s why I did it.
The […]
My name is Costy. And I am shit. Do you know what shit is? It is Costy. Costy just dosen’t understand life.It is a miracle? or just an accident? Whatever it is , it dosen’t have any application in our daily lives…I guess that the major cause for my downfall was nihilism, even if I would have everything in the world..we are going to die anyway. What is there for us? Nothing or maybe “something”. I don’t want to get old..
I have so many fucking toughts in my head. Why do I exist? I just want peace.
Lately, been wondering about different lives that could be here, so i want you guys to share why you here…i’ll tell mine too as well.