I’m not thinking rationally right now…the thing about being bi polar is it all hits you so hard so fast and you cant get away from whatever emotion is running you over and all i want to do is breathe help me please im drowning in me… I want to die please tell me no please tell me no its buring a hole in me i dont want this anymore please please please
want
The time I started writing this. You’re supposed to make a wish at 11:11. In some ways, I’m selfish. I wish for a lot of things when this time comes round. And so far, I don’t think any of them have come true.
I still don’t feel comfortable in this fucking body. My gender makes no fucking sense. Dysphoria is a *****, and with fluid gender it fucking suck, because my body and gender never quite match.
It’s stuck in my head that everyone hates me. No-one bothers with me anymore, I’m just that fucked up kid that people put up with because I’m friends […]
Can I just say a small quiet hello to all the lonely people out there.
((Please note this is a rant… Save yourself the time reading it, basically I have no friends and life’s challenges are overwhelming)).
I found this place at the beginning of the year during a real low point of obsessive suicide ideation. I got through it, I’m still here.
I managed to find a freak like me who loves me. He’s the best. He has a lot of friends and the prettiest face I’ve ever seen, the biggest heart and scars, more scars than I could kiss in one night.
I used to read people’s […]
We can survive pain and lost, but how to survive injustice? What to do when all what you one day believed is pulverized in front of your eyes? What to do when you are being punish without a reason and you feel lost? Where to find that little thing, that miraculous thing that will make you wake up and try again?
One day after many years of fail intends and hardship you arrive to the place you want to live, then you are happy as you was not before in your whole life. You have a life, is not a perfect life, you have problems […]
So I’ll give you a brief overview of my life.
I’m 14 nearly 15, I know I’m young and I haven’t experienced life properly.
When I was little I was so happy.. I hope so atleast. My life should be so happy ive got great friends and my family. Well atleast my mum my dad still cares but sometimes he gets angry. I know this girl who likes me and well she’s willing to end her life if I end mine, girls huh lol.
Anyways my depression started around 9-10 years old and no one ive talked to has felt the same way of depression. I […]
I used to sleep all day and all night. Now I sleep all day but I’m awake all night. I’m scared to go to bed. I fear the day that comes next. I don’t want it to be tomorrow don’t want to wake up and pretend not to be miserable. Don’t want to have to see people, talk to them. Interact with the kids that is my job. I’m just scared.
I really haven’t been on here for some months now because I thought it was just a waste of time…But it was a while back an I just got into this mood where I didn’t communicate with anyone I stayed in my room everyday I didn’t even leave to go anywhere, I just want to get back into that mode because me communicating n forgiving is making me miserable every single day and I don’t say anything I just play along with the joy everyone thinks I have…..
I have made a decision, one that I hope I won’t be hated for because ill be doing that already. I’m going to give my daughter up for adoption, I’m going to be homeless soon, I still can’t get government assistance much less housing (it’s very hard to come by) and the cold weather is getting worse. My daughter can’t live like this anymore, my job as a cashier barely does anything for us I wish I could work full time but it’s only me who takes care of my baby. Her father loves her but is a deadbeat. He says he’s focusing more on […]
To this day i always tell me people i love being alone
And it’s true. I do like being alone.
But everyone confuses it with lonliness and i cant stand feeling lonely.
There is no actual point anymore for me.
I have 0 interest in anything anymore.
Ive tried to engage yself in so many activies and trying to do more hobbies but nothing catches me. Nor does the depression help.
I am a hopeless case
I dont want my life to be saved nor am i asking for help when i write this.
I just want to die and stop the pointlessness of what my life is. […]
This is my first post but I have been reading for a while. I have been trying to fight for years but I am so tired of fighting everyday to never be happy. I obsess over how I’m going to end it and when. I’m afraid of a failed attempt. I am so tired of never feeling good enough, having people walk out on me, and just not caring.
I hate hearing people say to just give it time or things will get better. I am 25 and it never gets better for me. I just want it to be over now. I don’t want to […]
This is just going to be a bunch of nonsensical rambling, but I’m just so tired of people. I’m drained, too, thus no proofreading to see if I even made sense.
Sorry for the waste of time.
Two of my friends have been inseparable since I introduced them. They became best friends. One is a lesbian, one is an inactive bisexual (she likes women, but has a child and wants a man to replace his shithead father, thus being inactive in the lady-looking-for-lady party.) I’m going to refer to them as lesbian and bisexual, hope I don’t offend anyone.
Goodnight sweetie.
Are there any monsters?
Nope.
In the closet?
All clear.
Under my bed?
Empty.
In my head?
Of course.
They want me dead.
I know.
Am I bad?
Of course not.
Then why am I sad?
Because.
Because what?
I don’t have an answer hon.
Well I’m all done.
Done with what?
The battle is over, the monsters won.
What do you mean?
They’ve already killed who I was.
If things were different would you love me ??
If things were different would you not be ashamed of me??
I ask to many questions
I am too unsure
I hate myself
I am ugly
I am not what you want
I am flawed
I am too different
I am easily hurt
I love you
im watching season 5 of american horror story in rabbit if anyone want to join me it doesnt have to be american horror story i can play anything i just want to have like a movie night with ppl or something a bit bored atm
https://rabb.it/hiitsme0819
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
once upon a time
… there was a girl , soo confident one , passionate , strong , powerful , attractive , with a SMILE upon her face all the time … she was drawing on a wall … drawing a TREE and a CROW …
listening to Breaking Benjamin “Had Enough” song named …
a guy … we’re staring at her .. with an idiot look .. looked soo stupid to her ,, and she didn’t care …
then she had a cup of coffee with him and few friends .. he was a friend of hers .. he tried to impress her .. so he said he […]
I hang out with a group of friends.but i feel left out most of the time. I have more friends then my group of about 5 but the jave there own groups. I need some one to talk to before i lose my mind. I feel alone and i want it to stop please.
When you keep opening up and giving someone your all, then they turn around and fuck you over every time, it slowly starts to take a toll on you. You start losing pieces of yourself, and friends start to leave you. You slowly start to hate yourself because of what you’ve turned into and you eventually get pushed to the edge and slowly start falling off into a downward spiral of tears and other horrible things. You know they are the only one that can help you because they are the only one you want, but every time you just get hurt worse […]
I’ve been seeing a new psychologist since January and last visit she questioned why I was still seeing Psychologists if I believed my life will never get any better. I repeated what I had told her previously, that I simply want help to give up. I seem to continually hope for something to change but I need to accept that nothing can ever change. She has kept trying to inspire me to start doing things in an attempt to make my depression better with the idea that my depression will improve if I simply eat better, exercise and get more sleep. She will not accept […]