I’ve done nothing to nobody yet I’m somehow the most hated person at my school I want my life to get better but everyone makes it worse I just want everyone to leave alone why can’t people do that WHY I get it I’m a horrible person I’m an asshole I’ve done nothing right in my life but I just want this suffering to end Ive never wanted to die so badly there is no fucking god and if there is he hates me I only want the hurt to stop once just once I want this to go away I’ve tried everything and I […]
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wanted
fucking crappy ass friends i have. so this is how it is i decided to bring to of my friends to this band cncert thing cause i wanted to spend time with them. My other friend who is my ex, so is the one i was taking, want to go along so i said ok so i was going to buy another one. when i told them they were like if hes going then im not. i got so pissed that i said something i regreted i said fine i dont need you guys for anything anyways. this part i regret but this part i […]
I’m on my six advil.I’m going slow so I don’t throw It back up.I feel kinda high,I hope It stays like that & hopefully I feel no pain.I’m sorry to everyone.Sorry I wasen’t good enough,I’m sorry for all the pain I have caused anyone.I’m sorry for everything.I’m crying right now cause I had dreams.I’ve always wanted a kid.Always always wanted a baby girl;(I wanted to name her Savannah Miranda Espinoza.Damn I feel the advils.I need to hurry up and get out the house If I do pass cause I don’t want my sister to see my body.Fuck Is this really It or am I just […]
I’ve been suicidal since the age of 14. I’m now 36. I’ve spent 22 years fighting the pain daily, trying to tell myself to just get through the next day, looking towards the future, grasping at any tiny thread of hope. But the depression is always there. I haven’t fulfilled my potential in life – I was a straight A student, socially adept with many friends, good-looking, and liked by most people. I could have done anything I’d wanted to with my life.
I feel that what I want is always just within reach, but then the monster of depression will latch on to my mind, […]
Did you ever wanted that every human being had a restart button and start all over again? well, that’s all i ever wanted since i start to feel this way, empty, usseles, no loved, but no, you need to learn how to live with it, you need to learn how to deal with every day, i don’t think i’m learning to, i don’t like this world, i don’t like my life, i don’t like anyone around me, Â I HATE THE FACT THAT I ALWAYS WANT TO FEEL LOVED, I HATE THE FACT THAT I ALWAYS DEPEND ON SOMEONE, Â i hate myself, but sorry, killing myself […]
I do it because I have so much mental pain, I need to find a way to make it physical and get it out. So I abuse my body. I used to think I’d just do a few cuts here and there when I felt really bad, but now I do it almost every day, anywhere from10-200 at a time. It has taken over my life. I feel weird typing it; like, part of me is saying “no it hasn’t, you still have a life” but another part is saying “you’ve finally admitted to it”. I don’t know. I know this sounds stupid, but there’s […]
I decided to off myself some time ago, but in the middle of getting everything arranged (will, notes to people left behind, etc.), I rekindled a love with a wonderful girl I met my freshman year of college (5 years ago at this point). Â I was so fascinated and enthralled with her that I thought, maybe, somehow, this is what I’ve needed. Â Something healthy and fulfilling after years of miserable, abusive, horrid intimate relationships. Â So, I put everything off.
Afterwards, I was happy, really happy for a spell, and every part of me was distracted by her. Â Even when bad feelings came, I knew I had […]
I want it. I want it so bad today. More than I’ve ever wanted it. To take the pills. I want them all. A sweet, beautiful mixture. The one that can end it all. No more pain, no more stress, no more hurt. I want it. I want it all to be over. Do I reach for them? There they are so close at hand. I have the solution to all my problems yet I am afraid to solve them. Always wary of the end results. One day I won’t be. One day I’ll be brave and end it all. One day I’ll […]
wow, i just stumbled upon this site… amazing… i’ve struggled with suicide since i was a child. i’m 23 now. and i’ve been planning to finally succeed this weekend. just getting things in order, getting my paycheck on friday so i can buy what i need. i thought i was a freak of nature, a psycho, and now i know i’m not alone…
i feel so awful for the pain i know i will cause my family and loved ones, but i literally cannot bear this anymore. i live in torment, i have no reason to be unhappy, my life has not been unpleasant and i […]
Think i am ready to start over per say. I don’t have a medical condition or was i bullied. Only 37 but feel like 90. Just ready to go. My solution to problems and issues was to start alienating everyone in my life. Did not prepare for succeeding. Got what i thought i wanted. Miserable eveyday and not willing to live like this. If there is someone in your life don’t make my mistake. Don’t let pride give you an excuse to shut everyone out. That person may be able to show you a brighter day. Wish i could articulate better. Can’t get out what […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Evanescence_-_Sweet_Sacrifice.mp3
I’m am beginning to feel better now that I am here. I feel like I have made some friends even tho I know the connections may or may not be real. I hope to heal one day. I remember when I used to pray. I used to pray everyday but now I can’t seem to do nothing ubt think about praying. I remember the times when I was publicly humiliated in church. I had always wanted to go now I see why so many people didn’t/don’t go. I know its always gonna be why me. I know I am always gonna feel why me.
It’s so hard to get someone to understand you. It rips your soul apart when the look of incomprehension shows up. I have only just wanted some help and care. But I guess that’s a luxury that I won’t ever have.
I live like a zombie. My soul is dead. My emotions are dead. I have no passion. I just want to end this.
Frozen In Time.
I’m a 13 year old girl in 8th grade and 2013 was a hard year for me along with the start of 2014. I had already had problems in my family before but all of this made it worse. My parents got divorced when I was 2 and while I was growing up, I was told that they just weren’t happy so it was the best thing for them to do. Around this time last year my grandma told me that my father had been cheating on my mom and got another women pregnant. I grew up thinking that my father was some great guy, […]
I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I’m only 15 years old and a sophomore in high school and I already starting to believe that I’m screwed like hell. My parents keep on stressing the fact that the best I could go is UC Davis and not UCLA or Stanford. In freshmen year, I started off with a crappy GPA of 2.67. As the result, my father would sometimes come into my room either 12:00 or 5:00 A.M just to hit me and complain about my grades. My parents stopped calling me my given name and nicknamed me “2.67” or “Junk […]
He is destroying me. He doesn’t even care that he is killing me inside. I feel so alone and I’m completely lost. My friends and family act like I shouldn’t care and that I shouldn’t be upset. I didn’t want us to end..especially not because of my stupid parents. I’ve been miserable for the last 2 months..He made me happy. I felt that he was my escape from reality. I could be myself around him and he didn’t judge me. He told me he loved me and wanted me. I fell into the abyss. I am now slowly fading away. I want to die. I feel so […]
I’ve been having so much trouble lately. I’m too stressed, I’ve been incredibly suicidal. And I can’t sleep. And it’s all because of people. I just wish I could meet someone who was genuine and actually just wanted to carry on a conversation. But who knows, I might not be here long enough to ever find out…I just want to know if it’s worth it to stay and try to find that person.
What’s the point of being kind to everybody when the only thing you get is being mistreated? i don’t know if i’m the only human who feels this way but i’m always trying to fit in and make everybody likes me, but everything i get is bullshit.
Today was one of those hard days when you feel alone, no matter how much people you have around you, it may sounds like a big cliche but it is how i feel.
I lost the significance of the word “friends” a couple of years ago, i don’t know what they’re anymore, perhaps they’re there asking you whats going wrong […]
Dear family and friends,
I want you to know that I will be in a better place. I found peace with myself and I can now be happy. I didn’t want to be bullied anymore and I thought no one wanted me around anyway. But no one was there when I needed them the most and I felt hated my best friend moved and I found it easer to talk to my choir teacher.
Also I hated myself I hated talking and I hated everything about me and it’s just harder for me to live and be happy when I should […]
i’m probably the worst student ever. this year was going to be my first year in high school, and i was really excited about it. i thought i was going to get straight A’s and make my parents proud. last year, i got good grades, a 3.6 GPA. but i didn’t like it, still. even with a B, for some reason i wanted to go higher. but it’s two days away from the third quarter, and i have three F’s and five missing assignments. this has been happening ever since school started. i hate myself so much because whenever i come home i just go […]
So, it’s the end of a terrible spring break. Last week, a kid in my class began making fun of Death, like it was something casual. He asked my closest friend if she “wanted to die”. She of course replied no, but he replied with “I think you’re lying”. I told him not to joke around about Death, cuz some people have bad memories with it. He flipped out on me, saying it was natural and nothing can stop it. Now, he had heard about my friend, and how she died in front of me, thanks to me, but he obviously didn’t care. It’s hard […]