There’s no hope of my finding a place to live. My income isn’t enough for an SRO which is stricter than getting an apartment. Those are shitty jail cell sized rooms you pay as much for as an apartment, to share a bathroom with the building, having to eat all of your meals out as food isn’t allowed, and you can’t have visitors. Even worse is proving income. You can’t prove you have an income at all when everything is done over the internet. I get paid through online payroll services to an online (prepaid) bank account. No paper is exchanged and that’s what they […]
Tag:
weekend
It was around 7 years ago I tried to end it all, I was a single mum and couldn’t cope anymore. I was lucky as my parents would have my daughter over night once every two weeks so I could go out. I loved to go out and drink and drink until I felt numb, I abused myself and my body I let men use me for sex. One night though I’d just had enough I couldn’t do it anymore I couldn’t live with myself for what I was doing i was drinking everyday I never ate I smoked weed aswell. People started judging me […]
I just returned home from a friend’s house. I had an amazing weekend, it was the first one in a while…
So, I’ll get to the point of why I’m here, because honestly if I had just only had a great weekend no offense but I wouldn’t be here- not on this site.
I walk through the door, after just having locked my car and everything and coming inside, and my sister in law is already talking about me to my brother. She seen me come inside, she knew I was there.
“She snapped at Brook” my brother asked how she knew if I did because I just […]
I want to do it tonight, but it’s harder on a weekday because of work. I don’t think I can bear this pain until the weekend. I’m miserable. I’m ready to go. I wrote instructions on my leg. I’ll write more on my arm later. It’s a matter of principal. I’ve always said this, the longer I’m alive, the longer people will treat me like shit and feel they have every fucking right to. I will leave my name here as soon before the event as possible. I also have to apologize to my work by email and basically tell off the guy I loved.
I am ready to go. My family hates me. I am all alone. I am taking Tylenol and drinking alcohol. I have my letter ready for my parents and society to read. This is all of society’s fault.
know it sounds contradictory for someone who’s suicidal. I want to clarify that I’m not afraid to die if I’m doing it peacefully but I’m afraid of suffering from health problems.
ok remember last week when I spent the weekend with my dad, drinking vodka and smoking a shit load of weed? I have had dark circles under my eyes ever since. I was wondering if any of yall had the same experience, if so, how long will it clear up? Worried about what’s causing it. I’m afraid I may have hurt my liver or something
I’m home alone. My parents are gone for the weekend. The urge to kill myself while they’re gone is as strong as its ever been and I fear I might do it tonight. I’m breathing heavily and my heart is pacing. I’m scared…
I’m at the point of buying a gun. The VFW next door to my apartment building has gun shows/sales every other weekend. I hate guns, but now I need one. Again, I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Even though I’m no longer taking my heart meds, it’s not happening fast enough considering how utterly lonely and miserable I am. My chest feels as if a huge weight is crushing me. The tears and sobbing come without warning. Why do I have to be alive? Why can’t I just drift off to sleep and leave this horrible world behind? 60 years of this crappy existence has […]
Fucking too much to ask of the universe. Figures I’d plan a weekend with him and end up alone.
This is my first post so bear with me if i make a mistake. My name is Curtis, Im 14 year old male and this is my story. My parents split when i was 3 and i never thought much about it and when i reached Grade 4 my dad came back into my life. I was so happy i couldn’t believe it i missed him so much. After a year and a bit it was October of my Grade 5 yead and it was my weekend to see my father. When i arrived i went to my room to sleep cuz it was late […]
I had such a traumatic experience over the weekend on Saturday. It was so horrible, that everything that happened is still so vivid and clear in my head. I can’t thank my boyfriend enough for comforting me. I posted another video. This song gets my mind off of the anxiety and stress.
Well I’m currently struggling with alcoholism, I love it so much and hate it at the same time. I’m trying to think of a way to regulate or cease consumption of it all together. I know from experience I just can’t have a “couple of drinks”, I’m an alcoholic, it’s never just a couple. Can’t drink only on weekend because it just starts to extend into the weekdays. I have to stop. But how am I going to stop? I guess I’m gonna have to wean myself off, my current concoction that I usually drink is about 12 ounces of whiskey/gin/ or vodka, and about […]
I have a long weekend coming up since my work is closed Friday. My best friend suddenly isn’t talking to me and the guy I like and have done everything for and spent a ton of money on tells me he’s about to lose everything and be locked up again on the account of being homeless and doesn’t want to see me so fuck everyone for being fake, fuck everyone for not caring about me, fuck everyone my life doesn’t matter to, fuck this world and every last person in it. I’m fucking DONE!
Haven’t posted anything in a few days. I just don’t even know how I feel right now. I’m so tired. Yesterday I went to the beach with my family and some friends. Today I went to the pool.
I know, it sounds like I do enjoy every minute of my life. I admit, although I hate my life, there are times when I have some fun.
But even when I was having fun this weekend, I still kept thinking about how those people would remember me after I killed myself.
My math teacher invited me to go spend this weekend with her, she was been helping me alot. And the funny part is all this year I didn’t start liking her til about 3 weeks ago maybe, and now she is a BIG part of my life.
The weekend was fun, her family was very nice to me. Saturday went for a ride on the tractor with her and her dad and saw the horses. Then her dad took me on a motorcycle ride! Then came back and she took pictures of me with her new camera all over the place. It was fun. Last night […]
Three weeks ago, I posted what I had hoped was the last thing I’d ever write. Fast forward three weeks and I am still here, afraid to kill myself. I know how I want to do it, I know what needs to be done to end it. I’ve lost my girlfriend, distanced myself from friends and family as much as possible, written my notes, everything is in order. Despite all these things, I am still so afraid to attempt suicide again because I am afraid to fail for a second time. I ask myself every day why I am here, why I allow myself to […]
I guess you could call this a suicide note without the suicide. Maybe an explaination of why I’m so unhappy all the time and pray for a knife-wielding to randomly slit my throat so I can escape this hell.
I know, and have known for a long time, that I don’t fit in with this world. I don’t agree with most of what human beings do and I don’t enjoy what normal people do. I hate alcohol and drugs and the effect they have on people but I hate the selfishness of human beings and the pain that this causes.
This world should be a great place […]
Trying to tell myself not too.
This weekend is Easter and I’ll be visiting my family so it isn’t the best time to cut.
But every time I stop working or go to take a break it’s all i can think of.
There is just a quiet little voice in the back of my mind reminding me.
But i know it will only feel good for the fist few seconds.
Then I’ll cry and regret it.
Like I do every time.
So my mum is learning to drive (yeah, kinda late). Instead of feeling proud, I can only think that she will have an accident as soon as she gets the license.
Today a plane departing from Barcelona to Germany crashed… I knew that the odds of someone that I know being in the plane were minimal, but I’ve been all the day thinking about my friends living in Germany. What if they came home this weekend and they were in the plane going back there?
What if my sister kills herself? What if I walk the dogs and they eat something poisoned? What if that person, or […]
I havent been on here for almost a year, I wish i could say im a better person. The loneliness got so bad I actually decided to force myself to go to school. I lasted several monthes until I got so miserable I went back on independent study. I cant for the life of me understand why im so fucked in the head, in the time at school I actually made some friends. But of course, they slip through my fingers once I went on independent study. I did gain one thing from my time there, i met a girl. A beautiful mexican girl, we […]