I’ve been wanting this for so long; but now it’s more than a desire, it’s an obsession
I have nothing in my life that gives my living any credibility
I’m just a girl who’s broken beyond repair and this may well be how the rest of my life be like and I do not wish to keep going this way.
I need to go. I have to go.
If you don’t wish to talk to me anymore or have any means of communication with me, you could just tell me straight.
I don’t wish to be kept in the dark, even if the truth hurts…
There is no comfort in the truth anyway.
I don’t understand what you’re expecting of me,
your needs a bottomless pit.
Just because you don’t understand these feelings,
doesn’t make me a misfit.
I don’t wish you to understand,
this mind, it’s my own personal hell.
I’m scribbling down my note written in my own twisted fate,
hoping no one remembers to tell.
The rope, hung ever so delicately,
my last and final hope.
The knocking on my door loudens,
as my body begins to mope.
“Amnesia”
( by 5 Seconds of Summer )
I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me you’re doing fineAre you somewhere feeling lonely even though he’s right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?
Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
‘Cause I’m not fine at all
I remember the day you told me you […]
theres just no point in living.. i dont wake up in the morning and thin “hmm what a great day!” I hate my life i really do. and nobody seems to see it. i just want to go somewhere and cry forever because thats the only thing I seem to be doing now. crying. i just want to get in a car and flip ten times.. i wish that would happen.
well, mhh, lets get this started, im 22 yo male and i have been trought depresion since i was 15 yeah this have been very hard 7 years, im not goig to give details about that because if you are here you may know how i feel rigth now, the fact is that im a transgender, so yes im kind of a girl in the body of a boy and i have knew since i was 12 that is like the age when you can ge treatment and stuff to “solve” that trouble so rigth now im in a dead end i can either become […]
I have been praying that I will die today… is that so much to ask?
Im feeling good.
Even though there’s a downpour outside,
My mind seems to find a happy place.
A space that doesnt exist on this plane
but which I create and can change
according to my will
in accordance to the pills that I ingested
in mass quantities
Yes it bothers that im living in another persons body as my soul continues rotting My own mind continues plotting
Against me
When I resist me
Multiple personalities
Collide inside me
Im dying
Im dead
I dread the days, curse the night, wish my life would end.
I guess its more of a rap than a poem
I wish that there was someone who understood what this feels like..i wish i could trust..iv been broken by so many.. over and over.. i just cant believe there is anything other than people who lie… is there anyone out there that does not lie and cause pain for there own selfish reasons..they don’t even realize what they are doing..i hope….and if there is someone…one… how would i know?.. i want to have faith in people.. i want there to be someone else like me.. someone who knows…
will i perpetually be in this cycle of pain..waiting for someone to show me its going to be […]
I’m new here so I hope I don’t stuff this. I’ve been feeling really down now for about 8 years. I’ve made many soft attempts at suicide, I guess in an attempt to get help. I am becoming more and more depressed to a point where I can’t function in almost any way. I used to have such pride and such a desire to keep trying even if I felt all the demons circling me every day. Now I couldn’t care less about anything and I miss caring even if it was in a small way. I have nothing going on in my life. I’ve […]
Well,I guess we’ll soon find out if I’ll live or die through this…
I just made a suicide pact with myself.I’m going in vacation back to my homecountry of Romania and,if things don’t change for the better until the end of the summer,then that’s it.It will never change for the better.It’s now or never.
I’m not even hoping that things will get better,because I know that every time I put my hopes in something,it turns into a huge and painful disappointment.Sometimes I really want something very bad to happen so I have a ”reason” to kill myself,as if I don’t already have one…
Haha,anyway,if I do commit suicide […]
Thought I’d share one of my favorite songs (and artists) with you all. It’s called “Hollow Man”, and it’s by “iamsleepless” (which describes my entire life). Enjoy!
Music quote of the day: “How I wish, how I wish you were here. We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl, year after year, running over the same old ground, and how we found the same old fears… Wish you were here.” – Pink Floyd, “Wish You Were Here”
I am not mad but wish I was. So sick of taking shit from people and in the moment I feel so strong and empowered I give them hell. Ha, then a day later I feel awful even if I wasn’t wrong and I have this sick need to try and repair everything at all costs. I wish I could have faith in my abilities and when I make a choice in regards to my self respect that I would honor it. I am all over the damn place with the only constant being thoughts and methods if death. Started as young as I can […]
I have epilepsy, and have had feelings of cognitive fuzziness and generally psychological and psychosomatic discomfort for some time now.
I am now going to try to mitigate, if not eliminate, these effects brought about by both my condition and the medication I use to treat said condition with marijuana.
I’m hoping the effects yielded by the THC will put a stop to the discomfort, and I hope that just maybe it will improve my cognitive clarity.
Do I have case studies or any scientific research to support my experiment? No.
That’s what makes it fun I suppose, among other things.
Wish me luck, I’m off to conduct phase 1.
for years now i’ve been a zombie with one though on my mind
one cold endearing constant thought through the good times and the bad it remains lingering in my mind like the stale smell of smoke in the room around me.
everyday i wake up i wish that i hadn’t and when i go back to sleep i wish never to wake again
a useless ****** like me doesn’t deserve to live anyways i just wish it were easier to do
i know i can get help and i know that things can get better with effort but i also don’t care i dont want things to get […]
Is it just me but talking to psychiatrist or counsellor or anybody doesn’t help… They just give you pills and everything will be “okay”. I haven’t talked to anyone about my depression and social anxieties in person, only on here as I feel people are more understanding… Since they experienced before. I find its better to type what you feel instead in person. If I tell them about my depression and social anxieties, they bound to say “get over it”, “stop being pessimistic”, “go see the doctor”…etc.*sigh* if only…. If only…. I have one wish…. Maybe life would be easier. …. I’ll probably be happier. […]
im really fucked up in the head & i just want to die so i can be at peace but im too afraid to kill myself im extremly miserable that im still here … why dont i have the balls to end it ? death is all i think about i even wish i get sick with cancer or something so i can die cause im too scared to do it myself …. i want to go im tired of being/felling sad,miserable,worthless,unloved,invisible,ugly,unhappy etc IM JUST TIRED & READY TO GO
I’d never felt more suicidal than I had felt today. I was so determined to put an end to this life within the next couple of weeks. I thought that since I had stooped so low I might as well try heroin, it’s not like I had any further to fall. So I chased the dragon, not intending to kill myself at that point but just for a release. It didn’t feel orgasmic or incredibly intense at the time, just relaxed like I could nod off at any time. So I thought that was that and I went to bed. All of a sudden I […]
why is suicide illegal in america? if you are an adult and wish to end it, how is that a crime??? this is silly. how can they enforce it? whats the penalty, life in prison? the death penalty? cmon!
So some of you may remember one of my earlier posts where I talked about my jogging group and this girl I talked to. Even though the first time it was pretty awkward, we had some nice conversations over the last few times. And she even smiles or laughs sometimes when I say something funny (at least when I say something, I don’t say a lot though). And sometimes she falls back or speeds up to run next to me even if we’re not saying anything. And she always smiles and says good bye after the jogging. I know I suck at interpreting those “signs” […]
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