Thinking of staying around for a wee bit I’ve got a few natural health supplements helping my illness. I won’t say what though. Had a good day well pretty much. Thinking I have work on the brain if a company can or are willing to accept and employ someone who’s been unwell
Tag:
work
Things falling apart for me: Not getting paid from 2nd job unless I get a Chase account, that I can’t get due to horrible credit score. Main job has to switch payment system so there could be a huge 3 week interruption. This leave me with $0 to live on. Can’t rent a place now!!!
Things fall apart for Man of My Dreams: his life long disability that he has received from birth suddenly gets cut off without warning or reason. He will be homeless and I don’t have a place to offer him, and can’t get a place with my jobs unable to pay me. […]
I keep spinning back to the darkness. I have one good day and then cycle down to the lowest low. I KNOW I should be seeing a therapist but there is no money for such luxury. I am intensely jealous of all the people in my life who do not work – have not worked for years – and they have shrinks. They see doctors. They have every medication under the sun to even them out. What’s my med? I get to fake it. That’s my med. I get to wake up every day and go to work and be nice and friendly and productive. […]
Sorry if I ramble, or have half thoughts in here. I’m bad about jumbling things. But I just need to vent/rant.
So. I’m an accountant at a little accounting firm in my town. I’ve been working here since January and I graduated college last December, so they hired the biggest newbie, but they’re desperate for employees.
At first, I loved my job. I loved working during tax season and getting all this new real-life experience. I love doing payrolls and the sales tax. Also, I’m pretty nosy and like seeing confidential information in peoples’ personal lives (and I love being trusted to keep this information a secret). I […]
I want to do it tonight, but it’s harder on a weekday because of work. I don’t think I can bear this pain until the weekend. I’m miserable. I’m ready to go. I wrote instructions on my leg. I’ll write more on my arm later. It’s a matter of principal. I’ve always said this, the longer I’m alive, the longer people will treat me like shit and feel they have every fucking right to. I will leave my name here as soon before the event as possible. I also have to apologize to my work by email and basically tell off the guy I loved.
Not being sexist but most men want a women that is slightly beneath them and I think relationships that have a clear order work best. Women follow and men are leaders. I suggest finding a man that is slightly above your own status, smarter than you by a hair, and respects you. You will get bored with a man that doesn’t keep you on your toes. I think it’s very important for a woman to have a strong man. All the miserable women Ive ever met were dominant over their man. A man that doesn’t have his balls isn’t a man. If you think he’s […]
It seems like it’s only popular in Asian countries but it doesn’t seem to work for people in America. Are people just not burning the charcoal in the right space?
This site is the only place where i can express deep sadness. I’ve never really let others know how depressed i am.
I’ve withdrawn myself from my good friends.
My work friends see me as this happy, funny person most of the times. They also know I’m a hater too.
The people i dislike think I’m mean and rude.
With so many of you out there feeling sad, how do the people in your life see you?
I’ve been super depressed since 7th grade. I thought about cutting all the time and wanted to kill myself. That’s all I would talk to my friends about, and I lost many because of that. All through high school I have been doing everything I can to get better, but nothing worked. I couldn’t tell my parents because they wouldn’t support me, which means I couldn’t get on medications for it. I was about at breaking point my freshman year of college. I just pushed through until my 18th birthday. I finally got into the doctor to get some medications and was expecting a quick […]
I’m a bit slow, if I may from my impartial
I’ll keep my work for tomorrow
Let me enjoy the life
What is it from the outside effecting one’s chromosome
Growing to become the master of my ability in my disparity
Putting everything that I say, I’m sorry
I’m a bit slow, if I may from my impartial
The only from the echo missing to the beat of a drum
Growing to become the master of ability from my disparity
Everyone is like a valiant knight
And what about for this one
What happened to the true, cross, by the side
And now, to the now
Like I lost so long ago
Back to the, equitable
Convening, there is only […]
What the hell is the point of waking up and doing anything? Seriously, I don’t understand. Why should I do this, why should I do that. What is anything for? I try to wake up early and get things done and work out, but for what. I’m going to do the same tomorrow. There is no point in doing anything. Everyday I ask myself “What am I still doing here, why am I still here.”
Anyone interested in hearing some wild stories add me on kik. I know i have a less than favorable presence here, but I am genuinely good guy, I have been painted in a bad light by people once banned in my chats. These were all decisions that i felt were imperative for the mental health and safety of the people involved in the ban.
anyway, my kik account:
anthrophile
Add me, and we will have a cool conversation. Even if all you want to do is vent a little. I will eventually get around to typing all of the stories, but between work and doing admin […]
Hey everyone.
I’m a 22 year old guy with a boy and girl of 8months old *twins* and a wife my age. We have both full time jobs *i work in the morning, she in the evening, other week rotation.*
I love my wife very much, she’s from another country as mine, last few weeks it went downhill for us, we argue alot, fights, and I became in some kind of depression, I wanted to make her happy, instead of us. I did everything to do that, only making my life miserable.
I have alot anger in myself, in the years I dont say what I want to, […]
so long story short,
im too lazy to live…sounds awful, selfish, stupid, but well its true, i finished school, worked in many shitty places which gave me even more depression, or opend my eyes actually. There is no big plan, there is no big scenario for each of us, there is no big meaning of life its all bullshit, we all know that, we all depressed because we think there is, that “c`mon, its cant be all, it has to be some purpose” well…there is not, there is happiness in life, sure thing, but those sometimes 2 min of happiness is worth living and suffer all […]
I look back over my life, such as one does, and can now understand the difficulties that I’ve had. Notwithstanding that I grew up in semi-severe isolation (refer other posts) I know now that I have a mental illness of some sort. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety but these, I believe, are side issues to a greater matter not yet diagnosed. I wonder if I am on the autistic spectrum? Maybe something else? I know that I do not have schizophrenia for example (no offense to those who have it) …. I just know that there is something more.
I live […]
I’m a nomad. Ricky Hil and the weeknd better keep their heads up. I’m comin for them. I shit on ricky hil but I’m going to work with the weeknd heavy.
http://youtu.be/xzqqKpHQYWI
Walking back to work today from my lunch break, I started thinking about the piano(keyboard) sitting in my apartment. I’ve had it for a year but have only played with it twice; still on the first couple pages of my 6 week lesson guide. I bought it to fulfill part of the destiny I laid out for myself. When you’re as cowardly as I am, suicide is nothing more than a silent longing, and so I fully expect myself to reach old age.
If and when I do make it to gray hair and wrinkles, I want to be away from society and on a farm. […]
This woman at work reached out to me and I told her that I have no desire to live. We had a chat about it and she seemed pretty determined to see me get better. She’s had her own issues with depression and wants me to go for the same specialized therapy that she went in for. And she wants to be my friend, it seems, because she’s talking to me a lot more and wants to hang out after work.
I feel so guilty because she doesn’t know how much of a lost cause I am. There’s no helping someone like me because I want […]
Over the weekend I had one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I can’t help but love him even though he won’t be mine. He admitted to being superficial. But I ended up getting to rub him down with a full body massage. And it was relaxing, in the sense that, it’s a moment I’ve always dreamed of, giving all of my attention to the one I love, in a romantic way. Only thing I couldn’t do is follow it up with kisses, since we’re not at that level. I’m afraid I’ll never see him now that something he’s committed to doing has […]
when i was here last it was my birthday and i was quite certain that it was my last day . a lot has happened since then that i think you all may find at least interesting if not useful. i was quite determined to kill myself-had the means, a location(not going to mess up my own home), wrote instructions as to what i wanted for a funeral, gotten my affairs in order etc. i wrote here, told everyone what i was going to do, then left the house. got to my location, sat down and wrote in my journal, called my (then) therapist leaving […]