My life is more or less over. I don’t want to write my story, my brain just stopped working altogether.
From what I tried to discover, there is life after death, we just cant know what it is. So the only thing is belief that the next life will be better, nothing else. Dont panic.
I know it isn’t healthy but I self medicate with alcohol to deal with my depression. Everybody thinks it’s a good thing that I drink a lot “Oh there he goes again at the bar! What a cool guy” or “Wish I could drink all the time like he does”. Going to the bar is comforting. I really like to see all the different people hanging out enjoying themselves. I almost always go alone, so the staff there kinda started to talk to me and I’m pretty good friends with them now I guess. But they aren’t really friends per se, just loose acquaintances I […]
I was one of those book worm nerds who started college a virgin up untill then and during all my teenage years i had never had any girlfriends, flings, hook ups……. nothing……
Fast forward to my very first semester in college, most of my class was at the library working on research group assignment.
I was standing bent over the table my group grabbed , when a female classmate gently stroke my back, now there was absolutely nothing sexual, intimate flirty about it she was just grabbing my attention to hand me a book i had asked for.
But the moment she touched me i mean it was […]
Six months ago I had everything…a great paying job and a girlfriend of six years that I think adored me and I adored her. Depression then reared its head. I took absences from work to try and deal with it and then in July got fired. I haven’t been able to find a job since. This week my girlfriend and I broke up. It had been strained for a bit but kept hoping we could work through it. Now I’m about to end up on the street due to not having money. I’m still working on my plan but really liking this website. I felt […]
Hey you! Yeah you! Wanna know something before I continue on with this thing? You don’t? Well piss off, I’m doing it anyways. This is going to include more than just her, it’s going to be myself as well. Maybe a deviation from my usual style, but maybe that’s a good thing.
Her hair is pulled behind her hair in some sort of braid. It rests perfectly behind her neck and trails down the back of her blue shirt. She’s ignoring me right now, but that’s okay. At the moment she’s manning the register and she’s doing something that I’m confused just looking at. This menial […]
I’m tired again, and sad, my medication doesn’t seem to be working very well….I’m spending thanksgiving by myself. I want to be happy, but i’m too tired to try.
I need to get the hell out of here.
Friend #1 called the cops on me and told them some lie about me wanting to do some murder-suicide shit to my boyfriend. I got mad at her, and she told everyone around me that lie. Because how dare I get upset, how dare I swear at her for calling the cops out of nowhere and in the middle of the night.
Now my neighbors think i’m a danger to their children and call them inside everytime I leave my house.
Then there’s Friend #2. He walks up to me at work, accompanied by his buddy, and […]
I’m now at rock bottom and admit defeat!
My friend thinks I have post natal depression on top of bi polar and anxiety.
i can’t look after my babies properly, I’m exhausted from them both being up all night. I’m home alone all day with them, with 4 kids my house is a mess, dishes need washing, laundry need sorting but I can’t leave the babies as one climbs lots and the other screams. I’m lonely as my friends have older children and are studying or working, I fail as a mum , I’m really struggling and just don’t want to be here! Seriously what kinda mum […]
I’ve been working for 6 hours . And my feet are killing me. But I feel like work is the only thing that occupies my mind .
I don’t think about anything else when I’m working . But I feel like I work so much, I don’t enjoy life . It’s a one one situation. Either work and hate life and not have any enjoyment, or don’t work and sit at home in my bed and sulk . They both kind of suck. I also feel a lot sympathy for people who work for a shitty ass amount of money and try to live off […]
There are certain triggers that will cause an overwhelming feeling of sadness. It doesn’t last very long but I feel it, I remember it. I have a relative who is sick and dying and I don’t have my life together so I can take care of them. I get so damn angry at myself I should have been done with college and had a good job by now. I’m going to school entering my senior year next semester working 2 jobs trying to stay a float with my tuition. I think I’m going to get a loan next semester and focus on taking my relative […]
So I’m considering going back into therapy, but am anxious about contacting anyone, and want to make things as clear as possible starting out, before I get caught up in my normal habit of trying to hide how pathetic I really am.
I was thinking something along the lines of:
Hi there,
I’m considering returning to therapy/counselling after several years. I consistently find myself feeling that my life has no value, and waste most of my time and energy in a cycle of questioning these feelings. Although I’m not actively suicidal or impulsive, this cycle causes me considerable distress and greatly inhibits my functioning.
I’m not sure it’s necessarily that I […]
I’ve been stuck in the same place for almost 4 years now. I’m a 26 year old male who graduated college 4 years ago. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life but went to college simply because I thought I was supposed to. Since then I’ve been working at a lowly part time dead end job and living with my parents. I’ve looked for work on and off for 4 years now but with my lack of direction and focus I’ve had zero luck. Lately my motivation has been lacking as well, why put all that effort into something […]
I’m 19 and have been officially diagnosed with major depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder for over two years… I’ve been suffering from them for a hell of a lot longer. Meds are not working. Therapy isn’t helping. My best friend is the only person who can help me and she is taking a step back from our friendship because she is too overwhelmed. I think I am bisexual and I know I am completely in love with her, but my family would kill me if they knew about my sexuality, and she is straight and would not return my feelings. She’d most likely just […]
My whole life I have been used and abandoned by men. After my last heartbreak I pretty much broke. I have been overweight most my life but once lost 100lbs. While I don’t have that much to lose again I think I’m going to use my anger and frustration and put it back into working out.
I am going to concentrate on me and my health for awhile. I want to get fit again and then instead of a relationship I’m thinking of escorting. (Not prostitution). I just need something to shoot for a goal. I can’t “use” people without their knowledge so this is as […]
Hey guys, I know its been a while since I last updated . These past few weeks have been extremely rough on me. With drama with friends and my sorority ( It is a long story!), A highly overbearing work demand from my classes, try to figure out what I’m gonna do with my future when I graduate ( Which I honestly have no clue yet!),Found out its gonna be at least 3 weeks or even longer before I can even get an appointment with my university’s counselor ( I mean seriously i know theirs like a thousand and more kids at that school but […]
The game starts off with a breaking news report that people from a small African country has contracted a new disease called Hypnolaria. It’s a 3 stage disease. The first stage causes people to come down with exitied delirium, hallucinations, and insomnia. The second stage occurs when the symptoms stop and go into a hibernation period. During this time, immunizing the victims is still possible. The third stage appears when the person becomes very ill and dies. During this final stage, the illness is airborne and will likely cause a pandemic that will wipe out the worlds population. By this time, there is no cure,
The […]
I grew up in a psychologically and often physically abusive household with my biomom and an overbearing 6 foot 7 “step dad” who would make me work my fingers to the bone and pick on me etc. from a small child, I was close to my grandparents and begged and pleaded with my biomom and stephitler to let me live with my grandparents. They finally did to my suprize.
Problem was, my dad was there and at that time was very physically abusive when he was drinking. When my grandfather died in December 1995, the abuse got worse. My grandma tried to stand up to him […]
You said you was working on learning how to do 2D video games. I’m guessing there sidescrolling ones like Mario right? That would be awesome. A 2D side scrolling game collaboration would be perfect.
I got this video game concept called Opposites Attack which will turn traditional gameplay on its head – a place were objects such as coins, places you would think are safe to walk on will actually kill you. In this game, if you hit a coin, walk on land, etc you will die. In this game you will have to walk on spikes, lava, jump though fireballs etc. I got so many […]
I don’t have anything. I am failing out of college, I am unhappy with my job, I am out of money, I don’t have very many friends, the love of my life/best friend just ruthlessly walked out of my life. I guess that is my biggest issue. I had been in serious relationships in the past, but nothing quite as emotionally invigorating at this one. We met about a year ago, last October, both working at a local grocery store to put ourselves through college. Around the time of the new year, it was evident that a connection was forming. We would grab dinner several […]
I’m a very cheerful person, in fact way too cheerful. I’m intensely outgoing and introverted, it’s hard for me to ever talk without having a smile on my face. I’m notorious among my peers for having a wild sense of humor. Nobody ever believes me when I tell them that I am in fact very depressed, and have been for a very long time. It’s very hard for me to be by myself because I get plagued by feelings of anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Most of the latter due to boredom. I am always bored. It’s something I’ve complained about from a very young age, […]
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