So as some of you already know I had tried and attempted my life yesterday… You can see how that turned out *waves like a maniac* NOPE still here so whilst still possibly thinking of another method and action plan. Let’s talk guys!!! *throws confetti and pies everywhere* I’m not good at this don’t judge i’m new at making conversations with others i’m even surprised anyone talked to me and now I have friends on this site YAY!! <—— Sarcastic of course it’s to early for me to be hyper I haven’t even had any sugar….. Be right back don’t start the chat without me […]
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Out of sight, out of mind
Memories recalled, painful objects of misery
Reliving the past, again and again, everyday is the same as yesterday
Perseverence, that’s all I have to show for myself, unless this bitter story comes to an end
Constant war between the world and me, just leave me be
All of this can’t be pointless, the meaning is hidden between the lines
Finding the truth is only the first step
Buried beneath guilt and shame, I’m slowly fading away
My only solice is in my sleep, my annoyminity
Wearing my mask, day by day, faking my smile and my display
Regressing back to square one
Alone […]
Let me say this once for the whole world to hear: I. HATE. YOU. ALL.
I am bringing this up again, I was admitted to the E.R. yesterday for suicidal thoughts after my psychologist knew it was beyond her control.
My family, my mother she was pissed. She complained about how the 50$ wasted for parking in the hospital could’ve been used for buying shoes. She said, “Poor, poor girl….Your sister wanted to go shopping, and now she can’t because this bloody (insert swear words) crazy idiot did all this.” My father complained about missing work. My sister called me a dumb stupid teenager and I was making […]
So I managed to make it though yesterday but the battle dosnt stop there ok I managed to get out the house today for a short time
but doesn’t change my thoughts on the world
what is the point in struggling with depression and emotional pain everyday ? People say things get better when is that ? What’s the point in life if you don’t have no goals no idea where your going or what will happen next
people say lifes a journey and you should enjoy it well I’m not fucking enjoying this bull shit having more down then ups feel like I’m crawling though life and […]
Hi, everyone.
I’m feeling better than yesterday.
Migraine is gone, at least for now.
I can sit up without getting dizzy, and I can open my eyes without feeling like I’m going to throw up a small continent.
In fact, today I felt well enough to get out and actually DO a few things.
Yay for things.
How are the rest of you doing?
You lay awake in bed at night wondering where every little thing went wrong.
You create amazing friendships hoping they will spark into something intimate. You spend days, weeks, months and occasionally years talking to someone only to one day realise the effort disappears and you find that you are now the instigator. They never message you first, or call or whatever. It’s up to you.
Then one day you decide “okay, I’m not going to start the conversation this time. I will wait for them to instigate it.” Next thing you know you it’s been a few days and then weeks and months and you realise […]
ok before anyone thinks I’m trying to off myself again, I mean let myself not get stuff done.
I have exams in 3 days and have done quite literally nothing to even begin preparing for them. I need to study and get organized in order to be get the grades I need. I didn’t do anything yesterday after I tried to kill myself but it didn’t work (I’m physically fine just a little inconvenienced) and I didn’t do anything after classes today either. Thinking about how much I need to do and how I have done nothing is reinforcing all the reasons I want to off […]
So for the longest time, I have had this paranoia that I was being poisoned by my folks.. every time I would eat something they made I would immediately start feeling sick, my throat started burning, my chest and stomach started hurting and I got really bad headaches later on. I’ve been trying to avoid there food for a while but I had to yesterday morning, they were watching. The same thing happened. I couldn’t take it anymore, immediately I started searching around for shit I can be poisoned with. I then found this on the bottom of one of my families bag. is this […]
Some days your fine and the next your so broken… I seriously don’t know what to do I have a lot of anger inside me I hold everything in cause I really don’t have anyone to talk to. I’ve been looking at the site for about a year now and I finally joined yesterday and to be honest im so glad I joined. I would talk to my best friend but I feel like she’s tired of hearing me or sometimes I just like to be alone I just shut people off idk why… Today I wokr up thinking positive but now that the day is passing […]
Hi to anyone who reads this. I won’t say a lot. But yesterday I lost everything, my bf broke up with me yesterday. This might sound stupid to some but it’s the truth. I was so attached to this boy we got into a stuipd fight yesterday and it escallated very fast. He started calling me a slut which I ain’t. I’m not the type to argue so I didn’t care what he called but it fucking hurt cause I thought he different he seemed so sweet but he just put on a front. Then yesterday he blasted me on fb saying I’m a slut […]
http://thoughtcatalog.com/brad-pike/2013/11/do-ugly-people-have-any-value-at-all-2/
I don’t know why I dwell on my perpetual dateless more than my other issues. Maybe it’s because I get reminders of it everywhere. I don’t think im ugly just an unattractive. Its the same distinction between impoverished and broke. I’ve been working out but yesterday i tweaked my back in the gym. When i went to see Deadpool I saw reminders of someone i love(d) that I will never see again. I realize that my first love is my last love because I’m too shy/scared/unattractive to find someone.
I feel so powerless and worthless. I’m in pain again. I just want to take my life.
I can’t cope with life. It’s too painful. It’s torture and agony what I’m going through again.
I was able to distract myself recently and felt good by keeping busy. Yesterday all the pain came back because of a memory of the past. Now I don’t have the will to do anything. I feel so small, insecure and hopeless. I just want to end my life. It’s the only thing that can free me from this nightmare and give me peace.
Sigh…
My mum is accusing me of making everything up. This isn’t the first time. She used to say this about my depression. Then my anxiety. Then when I first started hearing and seeing things. And now again. I told her weeks ago when she found out about the Angels that I haven’t told anyone because not only do I not know if they’re Others, but I was scared no one would believe me. And now she says this. Apparently it’s too much for her to handle and she wants to walk out on me. It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to almost hate […]
i am reeling from the death of both parents in a two month span. trying to deal with a slew of health problems. having an alcoholic husband. suffering from life long treatment resistant depression. and there is that suicidal demon inside who never misses an opportunity to point out how easy it could be to go. it tells me at seemingly random times i could do various things to end this sad life. six months ago i set a deadline. that day was yesterday. how ironic that yesterday i got the first check from my parents banking accounts. i can’t do that to my brother. […]
I tried to kill myself(via shitload of pills) yesterday and it just feels so weird ending up waking up and having to get ready for school and have a normal day. I knew my life was fake, but today I suddenly understood why. Is this my life now?
Because I’m disabled and my allowance is very small, I have been on Medicaid. This has made my prescriptions affordable, and I’ve been very grateful for the help.
But something happened yesterday; when I got the notification that my prescription was ready to pick up, it gave a cost which was WAY too expensive.
It’s as if they cancelled my Medicaid for some reason. This is a giant problem, since I can’t afford any of my medication without it.
I only have four pills left, and then will have to abruptly stop everything.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, my right leg brace broke tonight, and I can’t afford […]
Morning: I was sad and scared of taking the exams. I was feeling pressured too. And little. So I ran away.
Traffic. The driver made us go. I got some money back and walked. While walking I thought of it as a punishment for running away. But rode another ride halfway. I’m a half ass lol.
I stopped at a convenience store to get a drink. And walked home.
I took out the stuffs I bought yesterday. One of them is the cards from cardcaptor sakura. It is said it can be used for divination too. So, I arranged it. Somehow, I got motivated to do something. Like […]
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This will be my 3rd post since discovering this website yesterday… I feel so alone and hopeless In life and I do want to face the pain anymore. After losing the only love of my life to someone else is Undescribable. I have been researching different methods on how to end my life peacefully. Yesterday I research the helium hood for around 12 hours. I have now opted for the ******** method… How long it will take for me to execute I have no idea until I summon the courage to do it I guess.. This is the only option I have as obtaining a […]