October 2011
I need someone to trust, someone that i can tell everything to, someone who wouldnt judge me. My “friends” say i can trust them, but i know i cant..
I’ve got two ears. I’ve got a dashing smile. I’ve got a warm hug.
I’m open.Preview
To anyone who needs a real friend.
Real, in such a way that I’ll feel what you feel.
Not really in flesh. But in heart, and in soul.
I’m always here.
I often find myself alternating between feeling two distinct states, nothing and self-hate/hopelessness. It seems to alternate at the rate of blinking light, its speed depending on the stimuli. When I’m not feeling this way, I feel a dull sense of depression, a pessimistic coloration to all of life’s events. I just feel so disconnected from reality and existence, so much so that I can’t even imagine myself being a part of it. When I contemplate my inadequacy and faults, I don’t want to exist anymore. I see myself as valueless, that the universe would be perfectly fine without me. I know this is true, […]
I’m new here, was browsing the internet and found this place, so hola. I’m really just looking for people to talk to, there aren’t many people in my life that I feel comfortable talking to about this kind of stuff. Dunno where I really feel like starting, I’ve been through some stuff in the past year, from me and my gf of 3 years breaking up a week before I planned on proposing, to my cousin dying in a car crash in March. But the most recent one, and the one that really prompted me to posting on here, was my recent breakup. An old […]
For some reason, I’m feeling even more depressed than I have in awhile. Â Just a sudden blitz attack where all I want to do is cry and hibernate. Â To make it worse, I had my first visit with my new psychiatrist. Â He wasn’t a bad guy; just didn’t seem very personable. Â Sort of like the stereotypical scene where you talk to the shrink and he silently, betraying no emotion, writes something down on his notepad. Â It wasn’t so much his demeanor though, but more that after telling him about all the other antidepressants I’ve been on (and other medications that were used to “help” the […]
Sort of on a depression spree tonight. Nobody wants to talk right now, going to vent and hope someone reads in the morning..
God fuck. So, pathetically annoying story here as people are venting random hating shit on the Facebook for a model train group I’m a part of (yes, that is why the drama is stupid) this week. I’m sorta watching on and off and today I mention that “hey, it’s a fucking hobby, stop being a *****”. And someone writes, “you only run trains and leave a mess, you never do any work around here”.
I’m fucking sixteen, what “work” can I fucking do? […]
“GO THE DISTANCE”
It was an unfair hand to be dealt. We were thrust into this chaotic world without our permission and without our approval. We did not ask to be here, yet we have been forced to survive. There were no detailed instructions that would guarantee success. There was no perfect plan to ensure our well being. There was no absolute determination that our parents, our teachers, and other leaders would guide is in the right direction. And now, here we are today. Veteran players of this enormous wonder we call life. Survivors of life’s daily challenges. Warriors of the daily grind … […]
This is my first time on this website so I assume I’m allowed to rant about what’s going on right now..
I had a drug problem for a while which took my whole life away, or so it seems. I’m not as close with my parents as I used to be. I say the rudest things to them and now my mom won’t speak to me. It hurts but I guess that’s what I get. From doing drugs so much I feel like I’ve become a completely different person on the outside, but inside I’m still the same.. I just choose not to show it […]
Ok,
I have only ever posted here once before and the responses I received were very kind and insightful.
I will do my best to keep the post short and direct but I have questions for many of you due to your age. I am 36 and Bi-polar. I have suffered through the meds, manic episodes, and depression over and over again like many of you.
I have noticed many of you are very young and to hear your stories or plans to end your lives make me feel like I did so many years ago and still unto this day. I would like to […]
I feel so lost. Idnt know wat to do anymore. Evryday iwakeup go go to to school and force myself to smile wen all ireally wana do is jst stay in bed and cry. Lately its gotten harder to pretend im ok. Ijust feel so sad and angry and useless. Icant get through a skool day without having to run into a stall to cry and cut myself and even that dsnt help much. Ijust dnt know how to deal wit my feelings of hurt anger and pain anymor i feel so alone. I hav people that call themselves my friends but they dnt notice […]
Well… Latly I’ve been extreamly deprest… My parents think I’m always on drugs.. so I’ve been grounded for three mouths. When the truth is I’ve been clean for about six… But they dont belive me.. Ane when ever I ask them when I can go out and do stuff again.. they ground me longer. So I havent asked in a mouth. But I moved back here to be with my friends.. and when I can see them… Everyday. Suicide is the first thing that pops into my mind.. thats all I think about anymore.. When I’m gonna do it, how I’m gonna do it. Where […]
The first time i thought of suicide when i was 13 everyone stared at me while holding my 9 month old. Little did they know that I was raped. When everyone look at me I could hear them saying WOW she’s a Slut or she’s just a complete whore. With everyone calling me those nasty names I thought I would be better off dead, Knowing that my son would be better off with someone caring and loving. So that next night i went to my Basement and try hanging myself. I was so lucky my mom found me half way alive or I wouldnt be able to see my son […]
ok so i joined this site cuz I think i’ve reached my breaking point and i just wish someone or anything can help me because i dont think i can take this anymore.. Im 18 years old and since i can remember ive pretty much hated myself.. I started cutting when I was 12 and have been doing it on and off since(wow i didnt realize its been so long since i just typed that smh)..I honestly dont feel alive..I go day to day as a zombie just waiting for the day to finish..when i get something thats good in my […]
Sometimes, when i feel like a shit, i play one game. Donno how to explain, It helps to go through the stress or depression episode.
So i look to myself like to another person, like looking from up, like looking to another person. Seeing just body, no brain. Anything i do i pretend to look from up, like to some strange person. Analysing how does it look like. After some time i see that i look kinda kool. When i like my decisions – i am proud, when i dont like – i pretend its another person. :]
Really hard to explain. It’s like not being in […]
I cant stop crying, i cant stop imaging ways to kill my self, i cant stop thinking about being dead. I want out. I want to die. I just want it to all be over, Why was i even born.
Last year, my daughter went down to the garage, tied one end of a belt to a rafter and the other end around her neck, and kicked the chair that she stood on away.
Of course, the belt wasn’t tied tight enough on either end to support her, and she fell to the floor. After I found her laying there, I pulled a thick rope from my workbench and showed her how to tie a knot. Then I showed her where I kept the Glock.
I’ve always wanted to kill myself. How sweet would that be? No more blackness, pain. Feeling like a dog who’s been run over by […]
I feel like(my motto for the last 2-3 years)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
i may be stressed an di may have a lot on my plate to deal with at the moment but id be more then happy to help anyone who just needs someone to talk to.