The Unique One

Have you notice that now a days people are all doing the same things and if your unique, you become an outsider.

When I was in primary school I notice this was happening and I tried to be the exactly the same as them but that’s impossible so did what I thought was right, just be myself, but that was the wrong decision. I spent the time after I realise what I have done trying to fix up my mistake that I didn’t care for my study.

But I tried to fix something it was another step into the other direction. My grades went from great to bad and with the family I have, having a bad result is never a good thing.  I have a brother and his has the brain of a genius and everyone in my family care for him than they does to me.

With all of this happening each day, it’s feels like I’m becoming an invisible girl. If I could paint a picture of my life it would be a little in a dark room with a door that can’t be open inside but only outside and shadows of people just walking past. The only thing I can do in this room is question my existence.

If everyone in the world is the same and I’m the outsider, then if I die will anyone notice?
Is there any reason why I was born?
Why do I have to be the unique one?
Why do I continue on living when nothing is going to change, even if I tried?
Why do I continue to be unique, when it only bring me further into the dark?

I think I should start planning for my death sooner or later.