Here’s my story.

My story starts from the age of 4 where I was physically abused by one my caregivers right until they left. The age of 5 I was sent to a horrible school bullied from day 1 not only was I bullied from the students I was bullied by some of the teachers. Being name called, pushed, punched, objects thrown at me wasn’t exactly a fun time.  I ended up only going to that school for a year. I was transferred to another school with a horrible principal, some horrible teachers, kids with a lot of problems/issue (some of those kids taking out their problems on me). This school wasn’t too bad for me this school I got one bad teacher (who was rude to one of my caregivers) but I got transferred to a different class with a nicer teacher (that my caregiver knew personally). My depression started at 7, having a horrible home background doesn’t help or mix with how I was being treated at school. I was hiding under my school desk screaming and always in tears at 7 I was to afraid to kill myself but that’s what I’d be screaming and writing on my arms with a permanent marker hoping I would get ink poisoning and eventually die. That went on for about a year and just magically stopped I just suddenly wasn’t depressed but I wasn’t happy either. When I turned 11 I was told some horrible things many horrible things 1 of them being one of my caregivers wanted me aborted another being 1 of my caregivers having many diorders including Major Depression now when ever 1 of my caregivers would be majorly depressed they wouldn’t do anything and I mean anything I was forced to teach myself how to cook so I wouldn’t starve for nights on end. At the age of 12 I had an arguement with one of my caregivers and they told me to leave me being slightly stubborn and trying to prove a point just with the clothes on my back I had no shoes I had walked off I didn’t get found until dark and on the other side of town 12 min drive was like a 1 hour walk. I was found by a policeman who happened to be driving pass me he ended up driving me all the way back home apparently people had been looking for me. I was guilted for running off. Nothing had really been the same since Child Protective Services (CPS) had been called on my caregivers by my brother. I was however still left in the same care since I lied about being beaten because I was to scared to leave my current care.  At the age of 13 I was transferred to another school it wasn’t a public school it was a country school but it was also a religious school (NOTE: I have nothing against people who are religious or have religious beliefs I just hate it when people shove what they believe down your throat.) Each day I was looked differently and judged because of I didn’t believe what they believed. What was also different was their schooling system it wasn’t the same as my previous school which I had great difficulty with and I found myself getting stressed everyday everything piling up top of everything I just kept putting up with concealing my emotions fake smile on everyday I never told anyone what I was feeling and it just went downhill from there one of my caregivers went on a dating site and met a complete psycho who changed one of my caregivers for the worse that psycho would do such unspeakable things. Here’s where one of my 5 acts come into play. We went camping I had stayed at the campground by myself they had gone out to town to have a dinner date. My depression had kicked in I was sick of how I was treated, how I kept being abused, how everything was my fault when I wasn’t even in the wrong I was brainwashed to believe in my whole life that everything was my fault even my fault for being born. I was told that I was an accident I wasn’t meant to be a girl, just shouldn’t have even existed. With this all swirling around in my head I just wanted the thoughts to stop attacking me so I grabbed some pills looked at the milligrams and I away I went. A few hours later I woke up (unfortunately). They hadn’t been back I was still at the campground. I woke up feeling very drowsy and wasn’t acting like my usual self. At the age of 14 I was at home with 1 of my caregivers and that psycho. I had tried again to attempt my life but this time I was stupid enough to do so in my room the good thing was that I had taken enough pills but the bad thing was I was able to be woken up but I was never taken to the hospital (I haven’t been for all the other times either). I have also tried once at 15 and twice not too long ago actually. All have been the same method and here I am still alive to tell the tale. Sometimes to this day I still draw on my arm and I do self harm I however can’t on my arms at this present point because people do get a bit wary of me when they see me in long sleeves I have cuts all on my ribs and stomach as well as all down my thighs.

So if anyone does read this… Thank you I guess for reading?

This is my story all of these events make me well who I am.

So my question to you is… Who are you and what is your story?

-Suicide