I’m extremely broken. I want to quit my life.
I know I won’t do it, but I’m really sad.
I feel so fucking dead inside. I feel alone, I feel that the damn is breaking the and there is a leak through the cracks.
I feel like the burden on me is too much.
I’m always worried of what is the financial status of my house is (we are always in debt, the question is how much). I feel like I’m a prisoner on a break through, trying to score this degree studies with out having the ability […]
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Do not come here to talk methods.
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What do I do if I feel alive but I only have “dead” people around me?
So I have been a person who thought about suicide, but I don’t really think about it anymore (although, I do think about dying).
Anyways, I wanted to discuss this with people, and I don’t feel like doing that with people I know.
Apathy – The lack of feeling towards things
Nihilism – The philosophy/choice that everything means nothing
Depression – Apathy can be a symptom of depression
I think I feel mostly nihilistic, but the rest of it is apathy.
I do a lot of stuff, but it’s whatever…and I have given up a lot of things that are general topics for people.
Ex. Don’t watch TV (including news), not i […]
I want to kill myself because of other people
I wanted to share with you what I go through to regain motivation and will to live the hard times.
I find time for privacy and blow put all the problems I have, written them on paper or saying them out loud. Then, I imagine that there is someone else, I name him Alex. I imagine he is me, and how this imagined persona acts differently. He takes all this problems, and shows to me how he deals with his own life and problems. Note that they are the same.
This Alex fastly grow up to be a man, to succeed. […]
The only hope I have is a dollar and a dream. No matter who tries to put me down, hate on me, disrespect me, doubt me in life. All i have to do is flip that dollar to a million and make my dreams come true and I’ll prove them damn wrong.
I’m a good person. Tell me a story of a 16 year old giving his allowance to a person in need standing in front of Walmart. Idgaf if that person does drugs it makes me feel better. […]
after spending two months in the psych ward last year after attempting to kill myself, i thought that maybe hope isnt so false after all. i saw a little glimmer of it in the midst of my recovery. fast forward to this year, when i thought to myself, this is what being on the brink of relapse feels like, to actually let the thought of suicide cross your mind again. it was raining outside, and it was late at night, so i put on all black and went for a walk in the woods in the dark, sobbing, trying to justify why i shouldnt try […]
Have you just wanted to grab all of your belongings. Everything that makes you, “you” and just pile it all up. Clothes, jewelry, bills, credit cards, medication….
Just a few ounces of lighter fluid and a match…it all just go away and leave nothing, but ash and smoke.
Watching it all burn down, all the materialistic shit that you have accumulated in all these long years….wishing that you could go into the fire and be burned away.
I don’t want to live anymore.
I feel as if I do not matter. What is the difference I make in this world? Other than the immediate people I see everyday such as my Fiancé and my parents, who would really miss my presence?
Life is just a joke. A Big fucking joke. The way society is, having to be skinny with a big ass and tits and your considered “Beautiful”? FUCK THAT. FUCK the image society has branded into our minds. No one will ever be truly perfect. I look at myself everyday and just hate the person I see. Oh how I wish I could be the “perfect “ woman. […]
So my teacher gave me more time on the project for the class, because I explained that I was struggle with class due to personal issue at home. A friend of mine (older adult) told me that it is great that I have an understanding teacher but… My “personal issue” was basically jus cry/grieved over friends and do nothing all day. What she said is pretty harsh which she already warned me before. She said “How many days did you waste over your so-call friends and use that excuse?”. I was surprised by that question and was too shame to say it. Because I know […]
Major depression.
I have pushed it too far on my own. I pushed it too far and now there is a visible damage. I can’t fall asleep. I’m extremely sad. I feel so alone. I feel emptied.
I feel that if I’ll jump a high story building, I’ll enjoy the rush. I’m not sure what got broken up in my mind. But I’m sure that I pushed too far…..
I hope that…I will gain the power needed to finish my plans (of succeeding University and paying off all financial debts).
I’m always positive, and logical……I […]
Hey, sorry I’ve been gone. I’m tired. Not to be mixed with sleepy. Sleepy is a light feeling that is soft, and all you want is to cuddle and nap. Tired is a awful feeling where all you want is to lie in bed and do nothing. It’s monday, which means back to school, which means another terrible week full of people not giving a flying fuck about me. What makes this week about 10x worse? The fact that it’s also Valentine’s day. Last year at this time, I was at my peeking point. I was in love, I wasn’t cutting, I had loving friends, […]
Before, drawing saves me… but now, it kills me….
I think being an illustrator is not good for me. Well, it’s like I’m not good for an illustrator. This mental issues of mine affects my job. Right now, I can’t seem to draw. I can’t push myself. Not because I feel lazy but because I feel so satisfied with my work but my team, well some of the team, suggest something that DOESN’T really fit in what I’m drawing. I was so satisfied with what I did and already checked if this is okay, if this good and i already finished it maybe 2 weeks ago and it should be submitted 2 WEEKS AGO, […]
I’ve actually given up. If I was depressed before, I have not the slightest inclination of what to call myself now. I’m just a failure that’s way past self-hatred and just looks in the mirror at a blank slate. All I can do now is sleep, eat, cry, and go on the internet while rebellious tears run down my face. I haven’t gotten out of bed for more than a week now and I’ve gone for longer but there is no hope for me now. How can I possibly keep going? It is so painful to live; I’m so tired of it all, half the […]
I read this brief article about some undercover high school students, recent grads, 21-25 yrs old and even after just a few years they reported how different high school is than it used to be. Cell phone use is rampant, teachers have less control than ever, and kids still just want someone to talk to.
I’m just repeating the article but it made me think a little and I wouldn’t mind hearing what highschool is like these days