Why is it that I always see the biggest assholes, douches, or selfish cunts having THE BEST fucking lives? And the few good ppl left have either mediocre or shitty lives?

I see the hardest working ppl have the hardest lives.

Yet I see lazy moochers never have to worry about money, and are enjoying life to the fullest traveling (on someone else’s dime), eating expensive nice food (on someone else’s dime) etc.

I’m talking both housewives and men who use women bc I see that shit too. I KNOW those guys who live off of other guys (gays) or their wives/gfs.

I have […]

Well at least he’s actually trying to help, talking to the suicidal ppl, listening, buying them a meal, etc instead of suicide nets and self righteous asshats who doing nothing but preach about not killing oneself but then doing NOTHING to help.

This guy even helps ppl find shelter. Like ppl who jump need REAL solutions to problems, not just a net/barrier/and a fuck you.

Like if someone were given $100 at a bridge, I am sure it’d help them more than 3d at a hospital that costs insurance and out of pocket $2000 (that’s how much the annual deductible is BEFORE insurance covers […]

Dignified grave. dont mind if I – I’m depraved
If vou stand there, dont look me in the face
Tongue stick and open eyes that show no tone with capillaries sick and hangin’ body that gave a haunted tone. I awoke from last night after bitter attempts simulated in the brain and found mvself feelin so damn alone, that last night’s dream crept into the day and theres not a lot to say about it. I’m aching, and all I got was to feel a way about it. Two tries, two attempts made from believe, and nothing could come after that of which […]

Why don’t you care about me anymore? What did I do wrong? Just tell me how to fix it and I will, I’ll do anything, please just dont make me be alone again please dont leave me alone

More whatever. More working at a dead end of a job. More jobs to apply to. More more more more. I’m coming up on 5 months at the job. I’m still there. Going there more and more and more. I’m not even sure I have the motivation to kill myself anymore. It’s complacency. It’s what I was afraid of. Days off feel like nothing any more. I spent yesterday like I always did. Playing cards for a few hours then going home to lie on my bed and stare at my phone. […]

At what age did you become severely depressed/suicidal?
What’s your depression level now (on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being most suicidal and 10 being most happy)?

I’m wondering if most of us here became depressed when we were very young?

All I’ve ever wanted was to be like you. One of the best. To be good at something, just one thing. But I guess I just couldn’t.

The other post is about inequality at a systemic/nation level. This post is on an individual level.

Why do some ppl have to be born so screwed in life? People who are born to poor parents and/or abusive parents are basically SCREWED out of life. Trust me, I would know. I get that “life isn’t fair.” It’s one thing if it’s 60-40 against you, or even 70-30. But how are you EVER going to eek out any semblance of life when life is against you 99-1?

How are we ever supposed to attain happiness, or love, or joy when […]

Back to 10. Not that it matters.

More carrots. All carrots. That girl I mentioned that finally matched with me has been jerking me around. Just like she used to do. I don’t want another one of her. I can’t do it again. It took me forever to finally unstick her from my head. I refuse to have this new one become something similar. I’m hoping this doesn’t become a pattern. If it does end up being that way, I just got to cut my losses and bail. Figures I’d find another person who couldn’t […]

I hate living, every part of it. Every time I feel like I have a glimmer of hope, I work towards it, I behave my best, I hold back every negative emotion, I please others sacrifice my own comfort and dignity and pride, but it always comes crashing back down on me as if it never existed, as if I was completely wrong, like I deserved it, like hell was destined for me on this earth.

I keep wandering around, trying to do stuff that will help me, that will keep me going or even something that would be of help to future […]

I constantly get told to “stop thinking so much.”

1- it’s not something I can control
2- why should we NOT think?

The happiest ppl are the ones who don’t think too much, think too deeply, or are plagued by things that “don’t concern them.” (ie poverty, discrimination, injustice, wars in the Middle East, murders, deaths, etc).

And I know many of these ppl. These ppl just couldn’t give two shits about anyone or anything other than themselves. Selfish ppl. That’s MOST Americans.

What is one to do? I can’t join the Sheeple, pretending everything is fine or pretending things going on in […]

We’re constantly told that “life isn’t fair” and to just shrug it off. But that’s ALWAYS said by ppl who grew up in avg or advantaged households.

Why SHOULDN’T life be fair? Why should we just blindly accept the “life isn’t fair” bs?

Go to Scandinavian countries. They are prosperous, have higher standards of living, and the discrepancy between poor, middle class, and wealthy is NOT a giant chasm as it is in the US.

Sure there are rich and poor, but it’s WAY more equitable and fair there. The avg person there lives happier and have more money than ppl here. If it can […]

I’ve been waking up to a reality I dont want any part of. Over and over and over, the same shit, no escape. All I do is cry. So, Im gonna take this a little more seriously and build myself a kit. One of those kits. And when Im ready to go, Ill go.

And btw, fuck what you might think about it.

Is it not better to be one of the sheeple? One of the happy ppl who aren’t plagued by depression, by thoughts of things like meaning, purpose, existence, etc?

The avg person is content to only think about themselves, their family, and God for those religious. They are happily plodding along to the mainstream narrative of being 1 in 8 billion worker ants.

Wake up, work for our corporate overlords, go home, use what little “free time” to watch mindless shows or be on social media. rinse and repeat.

They don’t question, they don’t have existential crises, they just follow. They are happy being mediocre, […]

Life has whatever meaning (or lack thereof) that you assign to it. Everyone has a different view- many believe their purpose in life is to have children, serve God, or simply to indulge in life’s pleasures and enjoy it.

What is yours? If you have none, what have you decided to assign as the meaning or purpose in your life? If still nothing, what are you going to do about it?

Have people actually gotten long term benefits from self help books?

I feel like self help books ALL pretty much have the same spiel- think happy, be positive, say nice things to yourself, have the right mindset, etc etc.

I also feel like most ppl get short term benefits- they feel good and motivated at first, but in the long term, nothing changes. Ppl go back to the way they were before, even if it was a “really good book” or a “really motivating seminar.”

I mean, has anyone here really had a life- changing self-help book or seminar or video? That actually changed your […]

We get told ALL the time that it’s our mindset, our outlook, what we believe and what we tell ourselves that creates happiness and better lives for ourselves.

Is that really true?

I mean it’s having a “positive mindset” PLUS action I assume they all mean.

Ppl who just tell themselves they are awesome or tell themselves good things while looking at the mirror (what all those self help books tell us to do) – doesn’t work.

Fake words don’t do shit to help us feel better about ourselves and overcome depression.

But- I did once have confidence in myself. I had determination and […]

So i got reset back to double digits. Like I said in my last post, I view this as a somewhat positive thing. But it does sting knowing my sentence is extended. I’m still going to keep track of the original date. Just because I want to. It doesn’t change anything keeping this time limit and it’s not like I’m going to do anything about it. I just want to.

Spent most of the day with my family. My uncle who I go to often for advice was in town. Don’t think I’ve seen him in […]

I don’t want to die but I want this pain to end so bad. I’m so sick of constantly being berated by my untreated BPD mother and told I’m heartless and unlovable because I avoid her so I don’t have to deal with her constant mood swings and bullying. I’m sick of the only texts I get being from her sending me passive-aggressive Facebook reels or multi-paragraph texts telling me how much she wishes she never had me and that she had a different child. I’m sick of the constant loneliness and having no one to turn to. I’m sick of feeling so different from […]

Here is my long & deep chat with AI (Deepseek) about cosmic nihilism & existential suicide (unfortunately, I can only post it here in this website ‘secretly in hidden/private’… ) :

https://chat.deepseek.com/share/nomm5nqftpki0dewom