Everytime I open my mouth it makes me want to break down in tears…
I make myself cringe so badly…
I want to take a blade to the wrists…
Cut through every piece of flesh I can reach…
Just shoot me…
Everytime I open my mouth it makes me want to break down in tears…
I make myself cringe so badly…
I want to take a blade to the wrists…
Cut through every piece of flesh I can reach…
Just shoot me…
If I don’t find love by the time I’m 30… I think that’s going to be enough to push me over the edge, the idea of living my life alone, not ever experiencing love where my other half doesn’t abuse me or neglect my feelings…
Heh… right now I can feel myself going mental over the idea… ? ?
I don’t want to die alone… not in this way, anyway…
Right, in an ideal world I would’ve ended up in an ICU before returning to SP with a tale to tell. But nope, turns out this little freak never got round to it. I failed to kiss the front of a train.
I can tell how insignificant I am to my friends, a lot of them seem to be ignoring me and eventually I’m just going to be in the back of their minds. I only have 2 “friends” that live in my town, yet one of them has a full-time job and the other hardly wants to visit me.
I’m really out of it right now […]
Guess who decided it weren’t time just yet to die? It’s been a few weeks or so and now I’ve rejoined the Suicide Forums to tell you that I’m still alive.
How has my life been since failing to take my life? It’s been alright, I suppose. I decided to try again with that ONE SPECIFIC college my ex attends and couldn’t cope with the lack of sleep it was causing me so I transferred back to our local college. Right now I’m studying art so I can get a shortcut to Level 3 Health & Social Care. Afterwards I am hoping to move onto Uni. […]
If an overdose would’ve been fatal, might have tried that right now.
and it fucking hurts
I can’t take this pain anymore, I think I’m ready to just be done with it..
Well, it’s sure gonna be interesting once I take the bus up to the last place I’d ever be alive.
I’m not sure if I should write some sort of speech just to finish this all off, but heck, it was sure nice being a part of this humble community if it weren’t for SP I would’ve lost my crap by now because when you have this one little space where it’s appropriate to talk suicide it just makes you feel less alone, a little more “normal”.
Mostly I feel like whenever I post here I’m doing nothing more than attention seeking, least we won’t have to […]
So, I’ve now got a hold of my bus pass which means my suicide date has generously been bumped back early. Instead of the 8th September I’m thinking the 5th. It’s a pity how much I would be leaving behind. A boyfriend that tenderly loves and cares for me. A kind-natured mother who had never once disowned me. A potentially bright career path, etc.
It’s more harder to hold yourself together than it seems to the outsiders. They see the good things, they wonder why a person can be so wickedly selfish that despite the goodness in life they’re still driven by their suicidal tendencies. The […]
That’s all I’ve got to say.
Suicide date is set for the 8th September, the time when I get my bus pass, I’ll be heading right to the station and “catch my train.”
I wish I could come out with some meaningful posts, but lately my head is foggy.
I just can’t stop thinking that it’s going to be finite. That it’ll be over and I will cease to exist. That I’ll be doing this to myself. Can’t say I have the guts, I’m flooded with terror. But the sooner it’s over, the better.
Turns out my mind is beginning to get comfortable with the idea of killing oneself.
I feel like my life will be drawing to a close someday within the remaining 146 days of this year.
It’s incredible how the concept of a single soul can push these thoughts onto you.
It becomes very intense, I almost dream of letting myself onto the motorway just to get hit by a speeding car.
< I was going to daydream more about how I’m planning on ending it all, but it might have been against the rules if I mentioned anything resembling “methods” so it’ll just stay with me for now. >
I’m […]
It’s disheartening to think about all that’s going to be left behind once I clear myself off.
The smiles, the warm memories, everything. I haven’t been living in a fair world for ages.
I can’t count the many people who have used me. Taken me for granted. I used to be so fragile as a kid.
So long as he’s living his life, laughing, smiling – I can’t stay around for any longer. I have to get rid of this all.
I keep telling myself, the next train you see run and jump. I’m thinking about it still.
Recently I’ve been working on strengthening my apathy, weakening my emotions and […]
‘WHY AM I EVEN ALIVE..?’
It’s 23:26 and my depression is at its’ peak.
I have so much hatred towards myself.
I can’t find the energy to write chunks of text.
My head is spinning.
I’m gradually losing weight.
Just cracked open my first beer tonight.
With the sertraline you get drunk quicker, apparently.
I am a disgusting monster.
I don’t know what I want anymore.
Wasted so much of my life.
I don’t have motivation to do anything, so I’m either browsing SP, listening to music or sleeping the day away.
Parents don’t like me. I’ve been foul tempered. They are beginning to give up on me a little. I’m an adult now, after all.
They don’t understand […]
I daydream about my funeral a lot. I live out these daydreams of my death over and over in my mind because they bring me peace. The peace of no longer existing while the Earth continues to spin. It gives me a strange peace of mind.
It seems more and more apparent that the only answer to my problems is to simply move far away from this district as I can, leave everyone and start afresh. If I’m far away from the birthplace of my problems, where it all happened, maybe it would help me to forget about people easier.
It seems like nowadays it’s either that or suicide…
Anyone want to discuss this before I lose my mind??????????????
I can’t tell whether I should be bad and drink some Guinness despite having to get back on track with my Sertraline, or be good and forget about the drink… eh… I don’t want those horrid thoughts though…
This has likely been posted before, but I’m curious to hear about people’s feelings about this… subject.
What are your views on suicide..?
I’m unlucky. Very unlucky. Last year my depression faded away. I got up, I got out, I got over it. A few months after that, I was sexually assaulted by an old friend who saved me from suicide countless times. The same friend that never turned their back on me when everyone else was too busy bullying me at school. The same friend who knew about the cuts, the depression, the suicidal thoughts, the gender confusion – I told him everything.
He told me I was his “best friend” but then… he goes and fucks up my head like this.
Can you see why I’m so very […]
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