Home Author
Author

OddOneOut

I'M HERE FOR YOU MESSAGE ME/TALK TO ME

I’M THE ONE YOU’VE COME TO TALK TO. LEAVE A COMMENT

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

What’s on your mind, bud? Talk to me.
I know you came on this website to see what people have to say, to see if you can leave any comments. And I also know that you want to leave comments on people to help them with the shit they’re going through.

SCREW THAT. THAT’S NOT WHY YOU’RE HERE. YOU’RE HERE BECAUSE YOU NEED HELP, YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO’LL LISTEN.

I WILL LISTEN.

Leave a comment, let’s talk. I’ll listen. No judgement, no problem-solving (unless you want it). I’ll try my best to understand, I’ll try my best to here you until you’re through, and most importantly I WILL NOT LEAVE […]

Continue Reading
19 comments
6 Email

I’m not supposed to be here

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

Just a rant…
Living in South Korea right now, and one thing I noticed is that this place will literally suck the ambition, desire – any sort of force that drives me forward in life – out of me. I hate this place, and I have to stay here another 3 months before I can even think of moving to another place.

I used to have dreams, have a heart full of things I wanted to do. Plans to do those things, the WILL to do those things…
But…it’s something about this country. The lifestyle here…Maybe it’s just me that can’t get used to it or, […]

Continue Reading
2 comments
0 Email

I think I’m becoming an alcoholic…

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

I can feel it. The pull to take a beer or any other drink I have every night, when the thoughts come creeping up. The sweet, blissful promise of release from the voices in my head and the cool, refreshing feeling as the liquid touches the back of my throat, giving me a sensation similar to falling into the arms of someone who cares. They won’t shut up, so I drown them. Just for tonight, because a permanent way to shut them up doesn’t seem to exist. A constant battle, day after day, always ending in my twisted, ironic victory. Like fighting a bomb – […]

Continue Reading
1 comment
0 Email

Recovery is terrifying when you don’t know who you are without your sadness

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

How does one figure out who they are without their sadness? Is it the mask I put on even when I am sad? Because I’ve been wearing that mask so often that I feel it is who I’ve become now…like the mask is somehow etched into my life permanently that it becomes a knee-jerk reaction to how I act around people…

How do I know who I am without my sadness, when I haven’t had a time I can remember that wasn’t without sadness?

Please help…I’ve been trying to figure this one out for weeks…

Continue Reading
6 comments
0 Email

It’s like Lower School all over again…

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

There were these kids…they liked to push me over, then leave me alone until I was just on my feet again and getting up, where they would push me to the floor again.
Every time I was getting up I thought that they wouldn’t do it again, that it’d be the last time. But every time, they did it again. It was the worst form of taunting I’ve ever faced. The giving one hope then pushing to the floor (literally, in this case) act. Nothing is worse than giving a person hope then, just as that hope is settling in, destroying one’s life again.

I just […]

Continue Reading
4 comments
0 Email

Dear Meursault…

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

For those who don’t know, Meursault is a character from the famous literary jewel “L’etranger (The Stranger/Outsider), written by Albert Camus, and is pronounced Mur-Sew

The book is famous and controversial because of Meursault’s character (which I won’t explain here; all of you should read the book it’s amazing), which I strongly believe is EXACTLY like how I am becoming right now…
I don’t care anymore. Whether something is ethical or not, what the effects of my actions will be…I feel emotionless (ba-dum, tss), don’t feel pain or happiness, time passes and the only way I know that it does is by the colour of the […]

Continue Reading
6 comments
0 Email

Everyone has their burden to bear

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

Everyone has problems in their lives. Everyone has things do deal with, problems to solve, things to be sad about.
But they go on with their lives, as if everything’s fine.
Why can’t I do that?
Why do I have to be so weak? I’ve got problems, yes, but can’t they be dealt with like everyone else deals with their issues?

What is it that they have, which I don’t? Why can’t I be strong like them? Why do I have to be so weak?

Continue Reading
3 comments
0 Email

Do I even have the right…

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

Why is it that no-one cares? Why do you keep walking away? I’m calling for help here, and you all melt away and hide from me as if I’m a carrier of a disease.
PLEASE. I NEED SOME HELP, PLEASE HELP ME. ALL I NEED IS FOR SOMEONE TO LISTEN. I’VE NEVER SPOKEN IN MY LIFE, NEVER LET THESE THINGS OUT OF ME. THE ONLY THING THAT LISTENED TO ME WAS A BOOK, AND IF IT HAD A CHOICE, IT PROBABLY WOULDN’T HAVE LISTENED TO ME EITHER.

Please…all I need is one person. One person that won’t screw me over by spreading rumours after I’ve told […]

Continue Reading
8 comments
0 Email

Sure, I’d LOVE to talk to someone about my problems. Simply LOVE to.

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

But who’s gonna listen? You? You, the one who comes up to me with a sickly sweet voice saying “What’s wrong?”, and when I tell you, all you have to say is “You need some help, go talk to someone!” before walking the fuck away. That’s the sort of shit that makes people like me NOT talk, you inconsiderate son of a *****.
Everyday, every night, I’m looking. Looking all around me, at my Facebook account, at my Skype, at my phone contacts book, at my god damn life. And always wondering, “Who’s ever gonna listen to me?”.

No-one, that’s who. And the ironic thing is […]

Continue Reading
8 comments
0 Email

4 months…thank you.

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

That was all it could give me….4 months free of cuts and suicidal thoughts, seeing life in a brighter light.
4 months of not coming on this site and yet still being able to survive.
Not anymore, though.

Life is back. My R&R is over.
Time to get back on the wagon.
Welcome back, *****.

Continue Reading
3 comments
0 Email

First give it a try…

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

I’m not trying to be a dick or anything, but it’s just a moment’s revelation that is slowly turning my life around right now and I thought it would be nice to share and get the ideas of other people.We, the ones on this site, usually have no meaning in life, think ourselves a failure, have had (to many different levels) experienced traumatic events or had our lives ruined by someone or thing, and are now seemingly left without many options. Our lives cannot, and will not get better. It will always be like this.
But, HAVE YOU ACTUALLY TRIED TO FIX THINGS? Of course, […]

Continue Reading
16 comments
0 Email

Being alone…is something deadly easily overlooked by “normal people”

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

All I want…all that I REALLY want…is just someone who wants to talk to me…that’s all I need right now…and there’s just no-one. No-one that wants to, because I’m the weird guy who’s always so negative and annoying.
I have things to share,
But no-one really cares…
Nobody knows me at all.
I got lots of friends.
Yes, but then again…
Nobody knows me at all.

And nobody ever wants to.
I don’t blame them for it. I shouldn’t be bothering people with my problems. They don’t wanna know and they have every right to ignore me.
But I really need someone right now. The girl […]

Continue Reading
23 comments
0 Email

Please can I die?

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

I’m such a coward…
Everything’s in place for my death, and the only thing holding me back is my fear.
Fear of death, when it’s the only logical way to end all suffering.
Not just my suffering, but my family and friends’ as well.
Everyone’s better off without me, and that’s the truth.
So all I gotta do is jump…
and let gravity do the rest.
Fear is holding my feet to the ground.
You fucking coward…

Continue Reading
0 comment
0 Email

Solitude is beautiful…(this is purely a rant…)

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

Right now, things seem to be getting better. I’m able to go on without my razor as much, I can enjoy music like I used to, laugh purely because I want to, not feel that pain that can’t be explained somewhere within my heart…

But that will all change when school starts again. When I have to rejoin the real world, and see it for what it is. When it presses itself against my face – when reality comes back to wake me from my dreamworld that I created to protect myself – It will all be as it were. I’ll be cutting again, empty, emotionless […]

Continue Reading
0 comment
0 Email

These walls were built around me.

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

Depression…It can come to anyone but that doesn’t mean it comes to everyone. It doesn’t just HAPPEN like that either. If you’re depressed, there’s a reason to it and it’s not something silly or stupid, it’s actually quite serious.
Right?
So that means all the people telling me that I’m looking for attention are wrong, and that something has happened within my lifespan to cause depression in my life. I’m not being an a**hole, attention-seeking or anything. I’m actually depressed.
But then there’s no cure to this. No-one to talk to around me, those whom I CAN talk to are far away, nad many people […]

Continue Reading
4 comments
0 Email

I’m so messed up…

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

This isn’t my first post here…But whenever I post something on this site, I feel like how I constantly feel when I do something like this in the real world – that I’m saying things that no-one wants to listen to, bothering people with my problems when nobody gives a damn. It’s been that way for a long time. Whenever I vent and rant, people just never cared. All they wanted me to do was to shut up and get on with my life, without giving a damn about what my problems were. That, mixed with the near-physical discomfort I feel when I cause someone […]

Continue Reading
11 comments
0 Email

So much swept under the rug…

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

3 years back, my family was in a severe economic crisis – we were broke. Living in a family friend’s house as a whole because we had to move out of our own; my father losing everything he had, spending time in jail and still having debt; having to move to a country quite literally running from money. It was a very bad situation.

But, bad enough as it was, my mother started turning into someone – no, showing a part of herself that me and my sister never knew was in her. She became a total *****. I know it’s unacceptable to be saying stuff […]

Continue Reading
1 comment
0 Email

Silently burning…

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

She’s so damn beautiful.
I want to tell her that, everytime I see her.
But I’m just too wrong, too messed up, for someone as beautiful as her.
My friends are getting tired of me constantly brooding over her, but I can’t help it. Every time, any time I think about her, I get a heartache unlike any other. No amount of negativity can give me this sort of pain in my heart. I want her to be with me, but it seems that I’m not what I used to be for her anymore. We used to text late into the night, care about each […]

Continue Reading
5 comments
0 Email
Newer Posts
Older Posts