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Chronic Pain

Im going to commit suicide because I have chronic pain and it breaks my heart.

by Bamsa
written by Bamsa

I’ve never thought I would be writing this. But I’m going to kill myself ass soon as I gather enough amitriptyline.

I’ve had a very happy childhood and very loving parents. I have always been a little shy, but I’ve managed to make some good friends. I was always very introspective and I’ve always been the type of person who thinks that an unexamined life is not worth living. I am a woman, by the way.

When I started college I had a bit of an emotional breakdown and was prescribed some antidepressants that didnt work, but I never ever thought I would kill myself. I studied […]

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SIBLINGS – THE PERFECT IMAGE OF YOURSELF

by Virus.Found
written by Virus.Found

There’s been way too many times, where I’ve been jealous of my brother. May it be his appearance or body in general. Or his great health.
I just don’t understand, what went wrong with me, when my family is able to have pretty children. Like what the fudge am I.?

I work really hard on myself, yet can’t ever look as good and be pain-free as them.
I love, how my ‘obsession’ over that, makes me look narcissistic in the eyes of psychotherapy.
I’ve got the word written down a lot of times in my last Psych-report.

Now I’m just wondering… Aren’t ‘people like me’ […]

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Where is this going?

by RoSe98
written by RoSe98

I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I never said i was a good person. Ive always said i was a bad person. Am i? But is there really a black and white definition of a good person or a bad person? Most would say its your actions that speak your truth. But everyone has been horrid or a little rude to someone and everyone has been the slightest bit sweet to another. Where is the breaking point? Where is the point of no return? When does good become bad…and can you have a come back?
I ask you this because ive been cruel and ive […]

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Feeling it again

by Icy_Dawn
written by Icy_Dawn

I feel it in my chest. Everytime I think about her being with him knowing she wants to be with me…….I feel it again. I can’t think unless she is with me. I can’t eat. Nothing is the same. I need her. The thought of her with him…..I feel it again. We are happier together. I want her to know that. I need her to know that. This..this pain. This ache, this throbbing its like my heart beats for her…so without her……I’m Feeling it again

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Life is not fair

by niki
written by niki

Life is not fair

Some people are lucky,
Some people are not

Some people live a successful & happy life,
Some people fail miserably & even commit suicide

Everything is just only a random chance

The universe doesn’t care
We are just only a tiny little speck of dust in this vast universe

Nothing matters.

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1115 Days…

by JCITM
written by JCITM

One thousand, one hundred and fifteen days have gone by since we discovered you were no longer a part of this universe, our universe.  It has gotten easier to process but it’s still not easy. The shock of it never ceases. It is still surreal. How can I summarize in words the cluster of pain we feel everyday given your absence?  Let’s see. The reality that you are missing and missed our daughter and son’s 16th birthdays, his phenomenal […]

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To grow up and being an adult (adulthood) is overrated and depressing

by niki
written by niki

When we grow up into being an adult, often we are pressured to be “realistic”. But at what cost? Too often, especially when you’re not ‘lucky/fortunate’ enough, all this whole “adulthood” and “grow up” things just turned us into a jaded, weary, bitter, cynical, apathy, limited, empty, cold, sad, & depressed person/individual..

The young, youthful, carefree, freespirit, creative, lively, happy, & dreamy/dreamer “child” / “childhood” in us often times slowly have died.. as we grow up into being an adult..

And for many people, it also usually means that we have to “let go”, or to be more honest & real, I would say that we are […]

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Desperately sad

by Jaeline
written by Jaeline

I was chatting with my mom, and I didn’t understood something she said and when I asked her, she told me that I was dumb and got angry with me, I felt terrible, because most of the time I don’t understand things, and tried to hold my tears, but began to cry more, and she got angrier and told me that I was just doing a tantrum, but I feel so hurt, I don’t know why, lately in my mind I’ve been telling me that I’m stupid, that don’t deserve good things and then she told me that, so now I’m crying and I can’t […]

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I wanna end this quick

by Coracora
written by Coracora

For the past week, I am not feeling myself lately and this is not relatively a new feeling, but this past week has been more aggressive than its ever been and culminating today was the disaster i dont wanna think it is , but dismissing so , would not just be denial but also forthright i donno what, i am at a loss for flowery words, right now the only thought pulsing through my mind, is that i have to end this the quickest way possible i want to jump off a cliff,possibly a tavern, hack my heart with an axe, bleed till i die, […]

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i want to break up with my boyfriend

by viola
written by viola

he is one of the most decent persons i know. the problem is that i’m a piece of shit who would rather run away from all my problems and leave no one with my burdens. i want to run away from everything, everything. i just wanna shut myself and play games and sleep in my room. i don’t want to interact with anyone in real life. there’s no point for me to participate in society anyway. i’m just a useless person who keeps giving out half-assed work because i’m so burned out and depressed.

he doesn’t deserve a piece of shit like me. at this […]

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i feel worthless and i want to become a shut-in

by viola
written by viola

i have to make so many posters in 3 days. should’ve started over the break but my dumbass didn’t because i love to procrastinate. i am so stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid

i am incompetent. so incompetent
incompetent
incompetent
incompetent
incompetent
incompetent
incompetent
incompetent
incompetent
incompetent
incompetent
incompetent
incompetent

i am worthless. so worthless
worthless
worthless
worthless
worthless
worthless
worthless
worthless
worthless
worthless
worthless
worthless

i don’t deserve my happiness in this life. i deserve the worst kind of death. the worst kind of punishment

dear god please just kill me now i’m so sorry to my dog and my boyfriend and my family and […]

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Why?

by pitbully
written by pitbully

It’s been about 10 years since I last posted here. A lot can happen in that length of time, and a lot did happen. Little of it was any good, but there you go.

My dad, for whom I was a full-time live-in caregiver, died about 2-1/2 years ago, from cancer. Last year, both my cat and dog died. I’ve still got a mum around, but her health is sketchy. I’m finally employed, but in a very part-time capacity, and tenuously so. Turns out I missed a deadline (completely my fault) and that will play a significant role in determining whether I am rehired when the […]

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I Sabotage Myself

by yeetme
written by yeetme

It’s fucked, I know
Right when things go well, I go and fuck it all up
Like just now
I have a boyfriend, a new position in my workplace that doesn’t suck ASS. I’m away from an emotionally abusive mother and an apathetic brother.
But you had to start cutting again?
I wish I could just die, but I have too many connections right now. The most logical way for me to go is in a way that causes the least pain towards the people around me.
I’ve thought about ruining all my relationships. Just becoming belligerent and hateful for the sake that they see […]

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It is what It is…

by JohnDoe88
written by JohnDoe88

I have depression since I can remember. As a kid went through all sorts of family violence and abuse (being sexual the only exception I think). an alcoholic father, 2 much bigger siblings that used to bull me and beat me real bad sometimes… (It’s ok, I Don’t blame them anymore. I feel like they had their own issues as well…) No one to talk to or ask me what was wrong… Alone at home. Alone at school… Running to uncles and neighbors whenever my dad freaked out and tried to kill my mom, sleeping on couches. Never having a place… feeling like total stranger […]

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Why was i even born?To suffer or to die every day?

by Antony
written by Antony

Today i cut myself 34 times on arms because i couldn’t handle the pain of not being loved by the person who i love the most in this world.She hates me the most in this world.i hadn’t done anything wrong to her i just said that i love her.She crucifies me each day by ignoring me.My time on this Earth will soon come to an End.”I’m lost and it kills me inside”.

Even my best friend doesn’t talk to me.My Family accusess me of everything going wrong inside the house.My whole family is troubled and my whole life is Fucked Up.

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Alone

by Jaspersghostclub
written by Jaspersghostclub

I just feel so alone and empty. It’s like no matter I do I’m just a ghost, a background character, irrelevant. Im so tired of it. Im tired of being alone and empty and crying all the time. It would just be better to end it then continue like this

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I like rains, it kills people

by crabby
written by crabby

I have been hurt by a lot of people. Abused, verbally, physically, sexually. I was made to remain silent because the one who did it to me was a medical student. The faculty said it was for the sake of inpatients in this medical school, I had to stay shut and allow myself to see him abusing more people. They made me fail a module as a threat, and as punishment for disturbing their peace. I lost all of the money I collected to retake the semester. I have no money to treat mg breast tumor

Then this year came. It rains, A LOT. Oh for […]

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Family and The End

by LiquidHuman
written by LiquidHuman

Hey.

So this is kind of a very belated response to my last post.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone that responded to it. I was in a very dark place. Still am, actually. But it helps to know that there are people who actually took the time to acknowledge someone who is quite literally facing their own mortality. I won’t say I have it as bad as other people on here, but I’ve never been an emotionally sound person to begin with, so I guess this just hit me harder than it should.

I’m still going through with the plan. I know a lot of […]

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My Demons dont even bother.

by JudgeMeNot
written by JudgeMeNot

I’ve come so far yet learned nothing.

Took a risk in hope to better my confidence. Failed to understand the simplest of obstacles. Isolated long enough to meet the stranger I see in the mirror, it stands with no emotion. My world is full of confusion, more of the same shit everyday.

My life if you can call it that. The purpose is to evolve and participate in modern society. Work, Love and Raise children. Everyone must contribute. I on the other hand have been left to my own perception, which is dangerous given you need others opinions to know right and wrong, to trust […]

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My Darkness

by malibubrad
written by malibubrad

I don’t really know what to tell you. Your influence has permeated every state of my being. I have tasted many different flavors of your catalogue. Loneliness, isolation, pain. How could anyone even begin to understand? I walk a road that ends in death. No one connects; let alone has the ability to help. Maybe I should have taken that woman’s advice. Maybe I should have joined that group. How should I gauge my contribution to this pit inside of me? Either way, it’s become my home. I spend my day in pain, ready to say goodbye to Mother Nature and Father Time. I cry […]

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