Category:

Chronic Pain

My Parents Should Have Never Met suicidal urges are getting stronger

by BlueDiamond 7/6/2017

written by BlueDiamond

Seriously, they hate each other so much that they can’t stand being in the same room together. Me and I know my brother is screwed up from witnessing this bad marriage. They both always put us down. It was always about them showing how they could get us to behave or negging us until they got what they wanted. Control Control Control

My dad is so into himself, and deep down inside I resent my mom. She created this co-dependent relationship. I’m forced to love her because if I don’t then I’m a bad person. Maybe I don’t hate her as person, but she sucks as […]

7/6/2017 18 comments

Do People that Commit Suicide Really Burn in Hell?

by BlueDiamond 7/3/2017

written by BlueDiamond

The perfect solution to already tortured souls is to torment them for all eternality. Sounds Good to me O’loving God. Who wants a marshmallow?

7/3/2017 16 comments

Plan to end it at 30

by BlueDiamond 6/30/2017

written by BlueDiamond

Sounds like a good idea?

I go to cheap motel and drink a glass of drano.

I never wanted this. I should have had a career and kids, but no. The world doesn’t want me. Maybe if I beg enough, I might get some table scraps or some peanuts. Dance monkey, dance.

6/30/2017 14 comments

Please Pray that my Ovary Tubes Disappear

by BlueDiamond 6/28/2017

written by BlueDiamond

I know it’s the stupidest thing ever. Doesn’t matter, if you believe God or not just do it, or better not, come down here, and operate on me, and rip these son of bitches out of here, and even better, kill me by ripping my heart out or something. Pray that my ovaries with all my eggs catch on fires and that any guy who lusts at me may his dick shrivel so far that it ends up next to his anus. I’m serious. The world might be a better place, maybe you might save some lives.

I got into an argument with my dad and […]

6/28/2017 7 comments

Lost

by Mallyjune 6/28/2017

written by Mallyjune

I don’t know what to do. I’ve never felt so lost in my life.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. Because we lived together, I had to move out. Two days ago, I found out I was pregnant. When I told him about it, he stormed out and basically told me he wants nothing to do with any of it.

I’m so miserable. I wake up and go to bed every night miserable and I don’t see a logical path of it getting any better. Last night was the closest I’ve ever come to killing myself. The only thing that stopped me was […]

6/28/2017 9 comments

xx

by Folfanda 6/26/2017

written by Folfanda

Yesterday was my birthday, things weren’t looking up so I took about 20 of the only over the counter sleeping pill my parent’s had (they don’t take much) and I swallowed them down with a soda. I though it would be a peaceful, surreal, almost lovely experience, but as I sat outside on the hammock I started to feel dazed and tired, my body just kind of bobbed around for a few minutes, I thought I could just lay down and drift, but the feeling only intensified, and though its what I wanted, naturally my body responded negatively to the effects of the pills, and […]

6/26/2017 7 comments

40… still breathing

by Milestiba 6/25/2017

written by Milestiba

I don’t write much because it takes my phone forever on this site to type on a post. Infuriating!! Commenting is easier. So my post is in comments below.

6/25/2017 6 comments

why God tortured me like that?

by an_old_child 6/24/2017

written by an_old_child

after years of suffering, it’s getting good at last.

i think i’m feeling happy and it seems to last for a while. the question here is, why did God tortured me like that?

i know that the day would come that everything will turn upside down again and i will feel down and suicidal -since no happiness is everlasting and no sadness, too- and i think that i’m not ready for that day.

i definitely feel stronger than before all these things happened to me – i don’t really want to say what i’m referring to by “these” – but i don’t like the idea of being put […]

6/24/2017 6 comments

when will this end

by nonexistingsoul 6/24/2017

written by nonexistingsoul

the longer I live
the worse I get

6/24/2017 2 comments

My fate is to commit suicide.

by Okami 6/24/2017

written by Okami

A fate that can not be avoided. A fate that I do not wish to fight against. A fate that I look forward to on a daily basis.

Not a single day goes by where I don’t think about just ending it all, and the more I think about it, the more rational to me it becomes.

I’ve fantasized about the moment vividly. Fighting against my survival instinct, finally succeeding with my desired method, and just waiting for the inevitable end. I’ve even gone so far as to imagine people’s reactions, as well as an afterlife that may or may not exist.

To me, everything is pointless. There is no […]

6/24/2017 3 comments

To Stay…

by Mehikka 6/21/2017

written by Mehikka

I wish I could stay here…

However, talking to you all and reading

All of your stories…

Makes it harder for

To Stay

…

I’m always going to be falling

Apart.

And yet, I post this and you people try

To make me stay…

Yet that decisions isn’t yours to make…

I try to make wishes to stay

…

I have so much going on I have a feeling that

I won’t make

It to the end of summer,

Unlike what my friends

Want me to

Do…

Even though

We do nothing together

They make it harder for me to stay…

Alive…and well and a whole bunch of random crap…

My life is

Bunch

Random

…

Crap…

Nothing to see here…

I’m done…

Just

Plain

Done…

Sorry Farah

6/21/2017 2 comments

I am Considered a Loser, Yet I am Privileged

by BlueDiamond 6/20/2017

written by BlueDiamond

(Yay, I fixed the internet on my computer. It seems to be connecting well, and is moving faster. I did everything I could such as restoring it to its default, restarting the computer, and even got my dad to check it out. He wasn’t able to fix it. All I had to do was update the security, clear all browsing history, and most of all disable the proxy server. Now, I don’t have wait for long periods for a page to show up, or have to keep reloading the page because it didn’t show up. Hope it stays this way.)

By society’s standards, I am a […]

6/20/2017 2 comments

Dipping Sauce Optional

by Cordless 6/18/2017

written by Cordless

Recipe for Steamed Cordless:

Take one chronically depressed citizen with disability/mobility issues. Ensure subject is single and lives alone.

Add one week of humid temperatures in the high 80″s and mid 90″s.

Coat with sweat and despair. Mix well.

Add garlic breadsticks.

Serve with antidepressants and mood-altering beverage of your choice.

6/18/2017 5 comments

Another Useless Post: I am not quaified for any relationship.

by BlueDiamond 6/17/2017

written by BlueDiamond

I need a short break from this site. I’m starting to get so OCD or too obsessed about it that it’s making me rip my hair out. Yes, this web-site relaxes me, so the break won’t be long like two days max. XD I got contracted myself. Plus, the internet is getting slow, so I need to fix it.

Topic: If you have requirements to attract a certain person, you need to look in the mirror, if you want to know why if aren’t attracting them. BTW, dating preferences do not make you a bigot. I’m not desperate for anyone, and do feel like I’m throwing […]

6/17/2017 3 comments

whispers

by plasticflower 6/17/2017

written by plasticflower

today i, once again, was welcomed by a quiet house; except it wasn’t. they’re avoiding me. as soon as i opened the door, i heard whispers. a lot of them. now they’ve stopped, maybe they think i can’t hear them. although i quite like arriving and having time for myself, i don’t particularly like the fact that, even though they’re still awake, they’re pretending they’re not. it hurts a lot, but whatever; i can’t blame them. i’d pretend to be asleep all the time if i lived with another me, so i can’t really blame them.

the whispers have started again.

although i’m not 100% this time […]

6/17/2017 1 comment

12:51am

by plasticflower 6/16/2017

written by plasticflower

it’s hard to tell what i feel when my brain doesn’t want to work. i’m starting to get tired of people thinking i just choose to not sleep. it doesn’t matter that i’m extremely tired from working, i still can’t sleep; yes, even if i just lay in bed with my eyes closed. family doesn’t seem to understand that, but whatever; i think they just don’t care that much, and who could blame them.

tomorrow hopefully will be better; as i say to myself every day. still waiting for the day it’ll come true.

6/16/2017 1 comment

not again

by alexusdemi 6/14/2017

written by alexusdemi

I don’t want to be that post that you’re probably sick of reading, about falling into depression and healing from it. Three years. Three years of constant debating on weather i can stand myself or not. Starting to slowly fall back into a constant mind of self loath is so difficult. I’ve put my body and mind through to much shit to start being like this again. Scary thing is i don’t think im going to fight as hard as i did the first time.

6/14/2017 2 comments

Have you ever…

by BlueDiamond 6/14/2017

written by BlueDiamond

want to go outside during a thunderstorm in the pouring rain with your arms to the sky and scream, “Oh, smite me God!” “I dare you, pour your wrath on me!” “Come on, do it!”

Just a thought, it poured where was I at. I was the store, when it happened. Guess if I did, people would think I was crazy. Listening to the song, “Suicide” by Get Set Go. Song makes me feel good.

6/14/2017 1 comment

Legalities

by nokshus 6/14/2017

written by nokshus

As if it wasn’t already a ***** enough. Fuck sakes you deal with the trivialities daily. The unending grind and minutiae. The milieu of reckless absolvency. Fuck, you go from the boredom to the banality. It’s all stupid shit.

Introduce the legal system or any of the bullshit bureaucracy into the fuckshow that is life and it becomes a whole new ball game. Fuck the legalities and hoops it makes you jump through. For real. Fuck incarceration.

6/14/2017 0 comment

10:33 pm

by plasticflower 6/14/2017

written by plasticflower

about ten minutes ago i was going to try to go to bed early for once, but i just got a headache. a pretty awful one at that; oh joy. why do i keep getting random headaches??? i don’t get it, and they’re pretty annoying. anyways, today i worked. very uneventful day honestly, but tomorrow i finally won’t have to wake up to get ready as i won’t work. at least.

suicidal ideations are still present but also still passive, so i guess that’s fine for now.

updates are hard to do when nothing ever happens.

6/14/2017 4 comments

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