At school, my friends was assigned to make a thesis about depression and they made me their subject. They asked me to be their subject and I said yes. I was nervous. I was afraid. I was afraid that some memories, those fucking hurtful devastating memories will come back. But they were my friends so I guess I’m a bit okay with it. After all those question and answer, I thought to myself, What is this? Why am I like this? How did it turn out to be like this? I didn’t choose this fucking depression. They chose me. And why me?! Why the hell […]
Category:
Chronic Pain
I’m asking this because I think this is why everyone in our neighborhood hates my family. This is why they harassed me and ended up killing my brother.
We are pretty much the only decent and properly groomed children in my area. Kids younger than me have a kid or 2. They are school dropouts with no future. They are drug addicts and so on.
In my family though, we are all going to school and making a name for ourselves.
My father is the breadwinner of the family. He needs to retire now. He has been working too hard. My mother is a housewife. She had to. […]
It feels like my depression isn’t as bad, but it’s only because I feel so emotionless now. I can barley have a conversation with someone, I’m not interested in having a conversation with anyone. My mind feels blank but my head is full.
I have been like this for a couple of days. I have been depressed for a long time but now I finally feel so empty, a lot of the time I’m just staring mid air thinking about nothing. I have no interest in anything and most things just seem boring to me now. I just feel so hopeless, purposeless, like nothing.
This may be my only post on this site. But I needed some place to just talk about this. I feel like I really don’t have anyone to talk to. Some days I feel like I have a lot of friends but most days I just feel alone. I don’t really feel any connection to anyone except one person, really just because I don’t trust anyone except her. She’s my best friend and has been for the past 4 years. I, of course, am in love with her.
The highest and lowest points in my life have always been because of her. When I first met […]
problems with parents. depressed. suicidal.
my mother finds every excuse to beat me, yell at me and ruin me. ive been told many times to kill myself by her, to leave, to go to an orphanage, but to mostly just die. it was terrible before but it’s only getting worse. recently she locked me outside of the house at night in below freezing weather, while it was raining and left me there for a near hour, locking the doors of the house. then, on the same day, she said to me “either i die or you die” and kicked me out of the house again for […]
So many things that should probably be said;
I don’t even know where to begin; and, i’m just really not the type to dwell…But nonetheless they need be.
Maybe i’m just to stupid to; not… to; dwell. (Anyway, how’r all you stars?)…*Dizzy ;{P
You know? I used to want to be in the military…but now, all my naive suppositions are more or less confirmed… and this capitalism shit is kind of resonating as well…(there’s just a level of living that people need to go on) With this and that, I’ve never been against hard work, I’ve just always come to the point that it never pays off…(Never learned from […]
I am 26 years old. I’m married… But I’m always alone and lonely.
Because I don’t have friends. I don’t have friends since when I was 18. I want to go shopping with friends and hang out with friends…Watching a movie with friends. Talking to friends on phone.
I can’t do that.
When I feel depressed, I can’t share this feeling with anyone. So I always stay at home, laying in bed, crying and waiting for coming the morning. Please be my friend… I’m so depressed I want to talk to someone. [ my kik : YYUKGRA]
It started a few years ago when all my friends were graduating, getting their first jobs, or starting a Master Degrees. And where was i??
Well 4 years into something i should have finished in 3 i still had half of my subjects to finish, it ended up taking 3 more years ( 7 total) to do so.
I started to taking side toutoring classes for some subjects and which made me feel guilty because those services are not cheap and i was putting even more wight on my parent’s shoulders.
With all this i felt so ashamed i didn’t want to show my face around, i started […]
It’s been awhile since I’ve written here. Things have actually been looking up. I told my parents through my counsellor about my self harming and suicidal thoughts. They were surprised, but I wasn’t chewed out like I expected to be.
Anyway, I’d thought that things would change. But I realise that they really don’t get it. They still don’t get it and I give up. My parents talk about my cutting as though it were a joke, especially
my dad.
My parents seem to have told my brothers about it, and they make fun of my scars. I mean, it’s difficult to stop thinking about it, but […]
January 6th, i attemped suicide.
i took lots of medicines and drunk alcohole.
but i couldnt die… my head was just dizzy and i couldnt eat anything for few days. i did not tell anyone about this. and i wont tell anyone. but now i think i still want to die. i want to end my life.
this world sucks…
i really hate myself and no one cares about me . my family my husband they dont care about me … all they care and want is money ..
i have been trusting that one day i can have someone who loves and cares .
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I have a habit of rejecting the good and accepting the bad. I pushed away my girlfriend because I wanted drugs and she’s against them. I lied to her saying I was clean and how I’m never going back to that life, but honestly I am still living that life. All I look forward to is getting high. The other day she told me she still loves me and I was horrible to her. I told her to get over it that I’ll never love her back. I told her I was with my ex again, the girl who I cried about to her saying […]
Depression is like a bottomless pit. You can tell someone you’re falling and you just don’t see an end to it, but they tell you to be thankful you’ve never came crashing to the bottom. Why would I be thankful for never hitting the bottom, even if at an extreme force. I’ll never stop falling. I’ll never know anything but falling or the peace of finding the end I’ve been dreaming of. Nothing I do fucking matters. I can’t stop my falling, I’ll soon never be able to see the light again.. Everything is just getting darker and I’m tired of falling..
What is it like to just live? To just live a life where you don’t feel like everyone is watching you? Where no one gives a shit what you are doing, where you are going, who you are talking to, and how you are doing it? I really can’t remember. I honestly want to live in a cave underground with no windows and no doors and no light so that no one can see me ever. I want to not exist. I want to be alone so that I don’t hurt anyone. I want to never interact with anyone so that I don’t do anything […]
It’s ironic for me to post here. I do not consider myself a suicidal person. Yet i have made the decision to end my life. So how could a person want to commit sucide and yet not be sucidial? Because deep down i wish i could live my hopes and dreams to get out of bed each morning see the world, delve into the debts of the mystery of the cosmos and kiss the ones i love. A person who is depressed usually loses the desire for all this. But sadly i have not, i want it more than ever. Why sadly? Because the only […]
I am a teenager
I get honor roll and am stressed with my grades if i get lower than a A-
Since a year or two ago i wasnt able to feel happy for more than an hour
My feelings for most are faked including my boyfriend because I don’t want to hurt anyone
I want to forget everything a.d start a new life
I want to live in a different world
I want to die, but i cant bring myself to it
I dont want to tell my parent because their comforting only works for a minute or two
Im easily angered, easily stressed, impasient, and […]
Hi. I’m french, so sorry if I make a lot of mistakes.
I don’t think that I want to end my life. I can’t say that I really hold to her, but idk.
But I hate my life, I always hated her. I hate my personality, I hate to be so irritable and so stupid. I play with my life, I’m the kind of persons who always think to do something, but never act. Then I always regret that, but I don’t do anything to change. I act as if I don’t care about what peoples think of me, but finally I need the approval of others. […]
The most frustrating thing about whatever it is I’m going through is this oscillation, things start to improve in small ways and then something happens however big or small and I’m back to being low again.
New Years was one of those times, being home from uni means and the history i have at home means there are a lot more people i feel i need to avoid. All day i tried to focus on working on an eminent essay but was anxious about that night; where i was going to go and who i was going to meet.
i was in the pub enjoying drinks with […]
It seems many of us, men, here at SP struggle or have struggled with problems related to the opposite sex, messed up relationships, stalkig exes, or like me years of constant rejection, being friendzoned, women mistaking kindness for weakness and taking advantage of it and walking over us.
And you know what?
I’m 27 and i dont know why or how but about 3/4 years ago a sudden changed occurred …. i just stoped bothering with it at all, suddenly i dont care if women notice me or not, i walk by a gorgeous woman on the street with the same indiferrence that i walk by a […]
I’ve been reading recent posts and think it’s a very positive thing that you make new year antecipations and resolutions. it means deep down you still have at leats a tiny shred of hope.
Lately i find myself living day by day and dreading the future, which for some who used to think far ahead makes me unrecongnisable for myself.
Keep up the good hopes 😉