The effects of suicide on family and friends.
He’s destroyed me.
I won’t survive in prison.
He’s got what he wanted all along.
I won’t be able to have kids.
He’s destroyed every inch of me.
I have nothing left.
Category:
Family & Friends Effects
I don’t know where to start so much
shit has gone on in my life I’ve
tried to kill myself more times than
I care to count, life should be
great and perfect but it’s the
opposite, I have 4 beautiful
children and a wonderful husband
I’ve just had so many issues
including my self and mostly my
mother my dads death then my step
dads death while trying to do GCSEs
then leave school get pregnant at
17 which changed how life would be
and I wouldn’t change it for the
world, but I’m drowning under my
issues and to my family I have […]
I tried to commit suicide. I failed, got sent to CCU , I am now back home, and ready to try again. I will hang myself and slit my wrists. If not today then another.
I cannot tell the majority of my story here because if I did, I am sure the people I want to protect the most, will work out who posted this should they find it. I’ve even changed my writing style and the lot to post this, that’s how important it is that these people do not find out what I am intending to do. I DO NOT want ‘saving’ and I DO NOT want ‘help’ because there isn’t any.
A very long story cut short, I am an ‘addict’ who abused research chemical Benzodiazepines for a long period, and I stopped them last year after a […]
He made me feel like a fool again. This time our relationship paid the price
by GerbzBaby
written by GerbzBaby
I’m irritated to say I’m writing about this particular “friend” again. I’m beyond angry with him. If you don’t know we and him have a history of “love” together. The last time I hung out with him he was kissing me on the cheek, cuddling with me, laying on my leg/ chest and jealously asking about my love life. Which to me seemed as thoughts still like me but boy was I fucking wrong.
Today I found out that he lead me on and fucked me over for my sister. At first he refused to tell me, saying I would be mad at him forever. Damn […]
I just really want to die.
The last seven years have been a blur.
But 7 years… 18-25. Years I haven’t lived.
Heck, I wasn’t even living before then.
Don’t get into a relationship, you’ll lose everything.
Time, friends, sanity, freedom are just a few.
So if you don’t know in one of my past post I talked about having dreams that make me cry in my sleep or dreams that make me upset or sad (although I’m sure no one read it at all). They are harmless dreams that just reminded me of my past which I was sad I couldn’t relive differently. But this dream I had last night was not like the others I had.
The dream starts with me and my family on a passenger airplane. All seems well until something happens and the plane spirals out of control. In the dream I saw we […]
I study a subject in the medical field. It’s a very tough university program in which one relies a lot on the professors and whether they like you or not.
You have to be there all the time. And I just can’t. I am scared of failing. But I am failing because I am scared. There are days I just can’t get out of the bed, even though I know the consequences.
So now I’m about to fail a very important course the second time. It started out great in the beginning, I worked faster and was motivated and tried to always smile and be extremely polite. It was utterly exhausting […]
He is in the CCU and he tried to slit his wrist open and failed. He almost died he is in the hospital. Sorry for the death the hospital just called and said he is in critical condition.
loremaster82@gmail.com if any questions
I’m gonna do it from me to humanity hold on and don’t give up stay strong.
It will be rope this time
tonight when i arrived from work, i was welcomed by silence and lights out, which meant everyone was asleep. i was not surprised, considering i just got here and it’s 11:10 pm. even though i understand why they’re asleep, considering it’s a Tuesday night, i still know that deep down i wish they were waiting for me. but they don’t care that much, and i understand that. i’ve felt very anxious all day, and i don’t know why, considering last night i tried to get more sleep than usual. it’s weird. speaking of weird; today is the birthday of an old friend of mine. she […]
Today I attempted to kill myself by overheating in the car. I drove to school, parked in the lot and didn’t get out. I was sitting in there for over an hour and a half. The only reason why I’m here now was because my best friend saved me. I texted him as I was sitting in the car telling him about how much I was sorry and how I appreciated him a lot for all he has done. I was practically telling him goodbye.. He got worried (I think as any other great friend would do in this situation) and asked me were I […]
i’m about to post things that have been going through my head for more than 10 years, but i’ve never shared with anyone. now, why am i saying it here? because no one can know. and here, everyone knows yet they don’t know; and i just need to get this things out, because i feel like it’ll maybe help somehow. last night i couldn’t sleep, and so i was sitting on the couch, watching the sunrise, when thoughts that haunt me decided to keep me company. this time, however, i wrote everything down. keep in mind i didn’t check what i wrote and don’t plan […]
I felt today didn’t start so good. I told my two friends I didn’t want to hang out because I was in a depressed mood (told them I didn’t feel well) and I had to clean. But they ended up showing up at my house anyways. I agreed to go but I told my sisters not to come even though my friends asked them to come (I get jealous and lonely when I, my sisters and my friends hang out together.. all they do is pay attention to them.. but that’s another story). The whole time I felt horrible. Horrible for not letting my sisters […]
even though i had a day off, i wasn’t able to actually rest. i fell asleep at around 5am, and woke up at 9am.
i’ve been getting random headaches constantly for years now, i’m not sure why; but i’ve had one since around 4pm and it’s currently 1:19am.
even though it wasn’t a good day, i went to the movies so that was nice.
That’s my date. Other people have others but that one is mine. I’m determined to end it all on that day, but I’m scared that I won’t carry through. I’m scared I’m going to flake like Aysel in My Heart and Other Black Holes.
I literally have nothing to live for except my cat. But I know Reimi loves everyone so he won’t miss me for long.
I keep thinking of ways to end it rather than if I’m going to end it. According to the psychologists of the internet, that means I have “major depressive disorder”, and I’m a “high risk of suicide”. Who cares though? They didn’t tell me anything […]
Okay before I give you any details in what’s happening now, let me start by saying me and this person have had beef together in the past. And.. we both liked each other.. not to sure we both like each other anymore. If you want to know about some of the past issues I have had with him check a few posts from 2016.
Moving on…
So the other night on snapchat I saw him making very concerning posts. Stuff like “I wish I died before the ambulance arrived at my house,” “I already know I’m not wanted, don’t have to remind me,” so on an so […]
“I don’t know how you do it.”
“You’re so strong.”
“Most people couldn’t go through as much as you have.”
I’m not sure if it’s supposed to make me feel better or what. It’s like getting a gold star for having survived torture longer than “most people” could have, even though they haven’t been tortured in the first place.
And what’s the alternative? I mean, if you’re reading this, on this website, you know the alternative. But surely that’s not what these folks mean, right? So what else? They’d have a nervous breakdown and stop functioning?
I’ve done that. My body even started to shut down so I have to […]
today i was expecting to get home and find everyone asleep again, but it wasn’t the case. for a second, i thought they were waiting for me, but as it turns out, they just lost track of time and were planning on going to bed at about 9pm. not surprising.
today my fingers hurt a lot, and me having to constantly wash dishes and such at work doesn’t help. I’ve always been clumsy and i use band aids very often, but I’ve never had 4 at the same time on my hands; it looks kinda funny, actually. i can’t type very well though, but meh.
i just got home from working, and it’s 11pm. normally, my brother waits for his wife to get home and then go to bed, but i guess it’s only for her. they’re both asleep. i guess they don’t care, and i don’t blame them for that, nor am i mad at them. i just found it a bit sad.
in other news, this morning was very difficult for some reason; having said this, i was really struggling to not harm myself. i managed somehow, but at work i did get hurt many times, though not on purpose. at least i don’t think so.
life has […]