Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

3

Im not racist but life could have been easier for me if I was white

  February 8th, 2018 by Letmyheartsing

This is a deep song about racism but there’s both perspectives. Both sides makes a lot of sense. I’m not racist, but neither am I pro-black. I am black but my dads biracial which means I had a white grandma, but sadly she passes away back in 2009 I believe(my mom didn’t take me to her funeral because she didn’t like my dad). My white relatives live way out in the suburbs of Ohio, and when I tell you they are racist believe me! My mom told me stories that my dad told her.
My white grandma was attracted to black men but

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2

I don’t care…

  February 5th, 2018 by AlwaysSoTired123

“If I drive fast enough…the impact will make it quick.” “If I could just drink a little more, I’ll fall right to sleep…” ” If I could just cut a little deeper…” These thoughts used to scare the hell me…but now, they just hang around in my head, like a lingering headache, that you just can’t seem to get rid off. Death now, doesn’t scare me. I don’t care if there’s ‘another life’ after this one or if I just end up as plant food. I just don’t care anymore.  I haven’t cared for a very very long time.

…I don’t care if deep inside, I rot …

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7

The hotline

  February 3rd, 2018 by zkolijn

A few days ago my fiancé told me that he almost committed suicide. This had torn me down and I thought it was my fault. I wasn’t able to help him because he kept this from me. He kept this from me because he was scared of hurting me.

Since he told me, I have had visions of being at his funeral. I have been an emotional mess. I know it wasn’t my fault but I felt like I failed him. I am so grateful that he was sound enough to call the suicide hotline number before he did.

He told me that I am his reason for …

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2

I can’t do this anymore

  January 27th, 2018 by Ziadus

  • As a kid I was always left out and lonely. It made me create a lot of imaginary friends and a strong creative but antisocial mind. However, it also made me want attention and when I didn’t get that, it made me cry. I had so many bad things happen to me I closed myself off from the world and now I don’t know who I am. All I knew was that I was an attention seeker, money waster (I caused the family to pay a lot of stuff) and horrible person because I did bad things just for attention. I hate myself so

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4

I wish I live in movies, books, novels, comics, anime, video games. Real world / Real life / Reality is boring & depressing.

  January 26th, 2018 by niki

Honestly, I just can’t understand nor fathom why Most / Majority of people can go watch movies, read cool, creative, imaginative books / novels / anime / comics, or play super imaginative & fantasy video games, and then later on they just go back to reality, as if nothing happens, and they’re ok with everything.

I hate to say this, but Most people simply just lack Imaginations. Even worse, Most people are boring. All people care in the everyday’s reality & their lives is just the most superficial, mundane, boring, & stupid things. Which is very depressing, especially when you feel like you’re just alone & …

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5

good god..

  January 25th, 2018 by deaddollie

i’m developing weird feelings for my friend. I really like him, but I can’t tell if he feels the same..

i’ll leave it for now. nothing good comes of feelings like these, or confessing them.

I just wish I didn’t catch romantic feelings for every person who is nice to me. it’s kinda pathetic.

I just.. guess I’m so starved for love, I latch onto anyone who shows any affection towards me (platonic or otherwise)

I’m tired. I’m so tired. maybe something good will be brought on by tomorrow.

 

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5

ugh

  January 24th, 2018 by deaddollie

things are really rocky right now, my life is falling apart, my birthday is next week, I have exams…

i’m not sure how to push through and keep going. i’m not really suicidal like I was, but I am really lost and confused and hurt. I’m hoping that I can make friends here, and we can support each other through these trying times..

life is shit, but it’s not always shit. you gotta hang on for those good moments.

– Dollie

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17

On The Verge Of Giving Up

  January 24th, 2018 by someonewhoneedsajaket

Hello. This will be my first entry, and honestly… I am scared. I badly needed help from a professional, but my mom just nags at me, saying that she doesn’t want a daughter who is going to have records with some psychiatrist. My father, who was with me when we went to the hospital, knew and heard what my doctor said. That I needed psychiatric consultation. But he just shrugged it off as if what I’m going through is just easy as putting first aid on a wounded knee.

I’ve been suffering for years now because of my father. Words, words just can’t describe how horrible …

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1

Still here.

  January 24th, 2018 by miralee18765

About two years ago I wrote a post talking about how I wish I could just disappear. Two years have passed since then, and I still feel that way, and I think I’ll stay that way until the day I die. I’ve tried to engage with friends more, but just when they’re about to know something about me I withdraw and go back to the  ” I’m fine” phrase that blocks all attempts at cracking me open and have me show more emotions.

I was told by someone recently that he couldn’t understand me. He said, ” You’re always smiling, and that’s why our friends think …

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2

Long Time, No See

  January 18th, 2018 by theendoftime

I made my first post here 6 months ago. I cannot remember how i felt then but I’m sure it’s a similar feeling of what I have now. I am overwhelmed with pressure into going into nursing school. In all honesty, I dont want to be a nurse. I do not have the social capability of doing so. My parents are forcing so much onto me and my mother says I have no right to choose what is best for me even though I am almost 20. I’ve been lying bout my grades just for them to leave me alone and it has come to …

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7

I want to kill myself

  January 17th, 2018 by eeyore

i don’t wanna deal with anything once again my father is relying on me to do his responsibilities I’m out here figuring out insurance shit I don’t even know what provider is supposed to be or what deductible is

he always gets mad at me for not knowing stuff no one ever taught me. As if a freaking dove is gonna whisper all the things I need to know in my ear.

my mom on the other hand is making me take religious classes and I don’t know she’s so harsh on me about it. I actually have cried everyday for the past two-ish weeks.

I always get …

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1

Victim

  January 10th, 2018 by lonewolf23

My mother could’ve and probably should’ve done something sooner. I know for a fact that things would’ve been better had she just acted sooner. My father was abusive and manipulative yet it took her 13 years to realize this. Either that or fear got the better of her judgement. I don’t hate my mom, I just hate her inaction and how things took so long to change. My teenage years along with some of my childhood years are so empty thanks to all the BS between my parents. I sometimes think I should’ve called the cops myself. But i couldn’t even do that back then …

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3

Just a video

  January 9th, 2018 by eeyore

This is a video I thought was ummm inspirational idk the word to describe this video doesn’t exist

if you do watch this tell me ur thoughts

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12

Don’t think I’ll make it

  January 9th, 2018 by eeyore

Theres this pain in my chest that reminds me that I probably never make it

I’ll never be able to “show my true colors” I’m not sure who I am. I don’t know what my favorite things r I never care and I don’t think anyone ever will either. Will I ever find out what my goals for life are and would I even be able to achieve them

I feel like I don’t want myself. It’s kinda like I have no faith or hope in myself

Ive been feeling really empty lately I can’t even cry I’m just empty I don’t sleep I don’t eat I don’t …

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4

Remembering those who fight

  December 30th, 2017 by SilentVoices

I remember the psychiatric wards.

I remember the ice cold floors in the morning, and walking barefoot to the unlockable bathrooms to take a piss. Rolling out of the beds in a drugged daze for the nurse to take my vitals.

”How are you feeling this morning?”

”Fine.”

I remember the series of emotions that flow through me as I process my situation again- for the 5th day in a row:

How long am I going to be here for?

Oh God, I can’t believe I’m (back) here. How the hell do I explain this to everyone? Am I crazy? Does anyone even know I’m in here?

This isn’t so bad, right?

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7

  December 29th, 2017 by eeyore

I love how my dad decides to be a father whenever he feels like it

He expects me to take care of his family, problem is I can’t even take care of myself

he just ignores the fact that he has responsibilities and just shitting mad at me for not doing his shit and doesn’t think that what he’s doing is wrong. He never admits that he’s wrong.

I feel like my mom loves him out of fear if that makes sense she would never have the courage to leave him

we just got a new baby sister and my dad made me spend the hospital nights with my …

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2

Asking For Help

  December 28th, 2017 by tryingtostayanonymous

The other day I told my sister about my suicidal thoughts, but she seemed sort of dismissive. I haven’t tried to act on them yet, and I don’t think I’m going to any time soon. But it was really difficult to tell her and it was sort of a cry for help. Like I said, I don’t really have plans to act on them, but sometimes I get into a really scary headspace where I’m really close, and I just want to stop feeling like this. I don’t think I could go to anyone else, and I can’t imagine trying to tell her again… Have you …

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15

The worst year

  December 23rd, 2017 by The Wrong Boy

So….man,that wont to be a good year,it’s not just for me but for everyone here in the blog,i know it has persons with more problems than me or we but i just don’t like to have these problems,my life is just a sadness history with so many pain and depression….and that are not just words but feelings…MY feelings,and now my feelings are so sad….downed…btw,here…do you know Christmas?..Yeah,it’s what’s going to happen soon but now i already recived my gift AND i recived NOTHING….seriously,i just recived nothing,my 3 sisters just recived a fucking Tablet…..i don’t care about what they recived,but,man,i just need a good day,a good …

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1

Punks

  December 19th, 2017 by lonewolf23

I hope nobody hurts my mom. She drives for Uber and she makes some nice money doing it. I just hope none of these butt-hurt taxi cab drivers do anything stupid that’ll piss me off. I understand that Uber and Lyft is kicking taxi bumpers left and right but there’s no need for these taxi drivers to take out their frustrations on my mom who isn’t trying to hurt anyone.  She’s just trying to make a living just like they are. My mom tells me stories about how taxi drivers ***** and complain to her about how they ain’t getting as many customers as before …

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14

I think it’s time

  December 18th, 2017 by soundless scream

I had hoped to recieve a response from anyone that might be able to relate to my feelings of hopelessness or could share their experience as it related to mine. But I didn’t and I guess that’s alright. I figure you come into this horrid world alone, you walk through it alone, and I should expect to exit it the same. I know my husband will be devasted in every way humanely possible when I die because it will be him that most likely will discover my remains. I’m currently trying to figure out where in my home to do this. I’ve decided that I …

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