The effects of suicide on family and friends.
I had found here the struggle of someone wearing about its relationship and the inability to share the real thoughts. Will it hold? Can this endure? I blame my Mind if we not set-up together forever. To be passed by for another. To get replaced.
It is so sweet how clueless I was about this feelings. I never knew them. Even when it had been cheated on me my heart and my mind chanted for the most precious thing I lived ever then. I still feel it, I can’t lie about. When we shared a bed for the night, me laying on my device phoning for hours eventually into sleep till the first to wake see’s we maxed the single call limit in time, maybe even up to 3 times. Seven years since.
I’m in Love and everything is set up this time that none gets spoiled in any way. There is no certain way to cheat at each other. The feeling of love been a very perculier thing to me as I knew I lost everything I could feel. It is still a little different but I wonder that it is strong.
But.. sometimes I know what I feel is not hers. It is someone else’s. I feel 3 different people inside my heart. Each is unique and suddenly, none of them are like the kicks I feel when my heart aches. I became used to the pain. I’m grown that I’d could marry. I should write letters about love. My words, one which are not likely to fade are happening. I was not the one known for taking a smell, a taste or emotions. But to give my feelings as clear as I feel never failed if truth is what keeps me keen. I couldn’t when I was for Sex. I an unable to seek for money. I am randomly about but don’t get it straight real to pay for the lust. I do not smear on others melting for attraction.
I can not fulfill what I demand of others. I’ll bow. I can not share my longing to share a sleep with her together in a room. I’ve no Poems, until, I just gave her an roundup of the duty that this affair for her former reality is about. I feel bad when even a little of what I call love is drawn on someone just she is.
I feel what’s true for this true People and truly is as it as but it ain’t as if this admiration I share can not left unreal but is for real not made to hit me in my time for. I’m out of role, I can’t argue that might one of them shall have had happened on a different section of time.
Writing about Love, to have the clear words unsaid or erased, deleted. It hurts. I will not know if it overwhelms me. But when it does, my emotions leave me alone that I could surely be also death. It is as if my Heart is death.
No-one will get spoiled. I’m happy and after. In hear situation I would not like to fail the following 4 years. I’m not ready, not yet.. but I’d wish to as I know it’ll kill me.