Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

6

My first attempt

My first attempt

  October 16th, 2017 by NotAlright

I was always a loner, I am just the girl who would sit in the corner and read alone, having only a few friends. I’m also one to have a lot of secrets and put on layers and layers of masks, to hide the brocken form and tears… and soon, I nolonger know how to cry, how to laugh from my heart, or how to smile truely. I hide away behind the walls, and isolated myself even more to protect what’s left of me, to protect my thick fire walls and masks. And due to those suppressed emotions, I always have a problem with my …

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5

I Don’t Want to Exist Anymore

  October 15th, 2017 by fuckexistence

I’m sorry I exist, I apologized to my mother not even an hour ago. Her response was, I wouldn’t go that far. How far Mom? As far as to cease to exist? It would be so much easier, to just cease to exist. Taking a life seems so dramatic, it’s effects long lasting. Ceasing to exist is much more simple, one just doesn’t anymore. No one is hurt, no family, friends, or co-workers. If anything, they’re actually better off; they never actually had to deal with me and my bullshit. I never disappointed them or let them down or hurt them in any way, shape, …

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2

I wasn’t prepared…. were you ?

  October 10th, 2017 by Urm8451n

Good day you all,
This post will include; panic attack, co op failure, overcoming love.
Added bold words to make reading easier and able to jump
edit: Also added conclusions down the page. 

start Today I had a great day, studied, and got few compliments, perhaps even started few new social relationship here or there.
It is really nice to start a new page at a university.
But…
change in events I went back home, a friend contacted me, he asked if I wanna go out with him like we did two days ago. Back then [8.10.17] he said “I want you to know that I completely respect you, and I haven’t done anything with …

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4

Off the hook (addiction)

  October 9th, 2017 by Urm8451n

TLDR : addiction sign, lack of friendships and lost conflict.

Today I did really good. I deactivated my Facebook account and I’m really close to stop spending useless time on whatsapp.

For those of you who don’t know,  due to suffering and lack of friends… and probably fucked up parents,  life failures, crapy job, broken heart and etc…  I started to develop signs of addiction.

Im taking Ritalin for studying (ADHD)  and each time it hits me, I feel really good, like I’m focusing on the high I get from it.

I also took lately mid-strong pain killers for my stomach ache and I started getting high on it. …

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3

Loneliness… don’t u feel it?

  October 8th, 2017 by Urm8451n

I have been standing outside the house for a while, letting my thoughts hit hard on love and company.

I really miss my ex, but not because she was someone who gave me trust. But because she was something to hug, hold and have sex with.

It’s easy to remember our time together as lovely,  but in fact it wasn’t as so. therefor I decided to quit it, and even then I’m still missing that hug.

I feel like play Chas game against “time”,  as if some kind of persona,  shaped like a standing clock, is over thinking me at a chess game, and slowly winning.

I wish I …

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3

sleepless…… aren’t you? (Help me)

  October 7th, 2017 by Urm8451n

I would define my self strength to bare mental and physical damage as 8/10.

But even though I’m coping with major life defects (depression, lack of money, friendly back stabs by friends and etc) I still am being damaged.

I’m amazed by how fucked you can get when being stressed. I don’t feel stressed, but I’m definitely showing symptoms of it. I’m sleepless.  I can’t fucking go to sleep. It started to show up in the last two month and I’m clearly am devastated by it.  I would like to get advices of how to cope with it.

Please give my an idea!

Solutions are welcome!

anyhow, stay strong, be …

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1

my crazy life…

  October 4th, 2017 by hellfire187

hey,

just want to share a little bit of my story.  Sorry for my bad english.

My father is an alcoholic psycho, as long as I can think. He was allways fliping out. I started smoking weed, when I was 12. I was smoking and drinking every day, since Im 16. At this age, I became sick, crohns desease. Every day pain, like hell… Im on opiate painkillers since Im 20. This every day pain breaks my brain. Got depressed after some years of horrible pain. With 25 I started to take speed, meth, cokain everyday use, in weekends mdma, sometimes lsd, alltogether with weed and painkillers. Every …

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8

good ol’ verbal abuse

  September 28th, 2017 by loosejoystick

tonight has reminded me why i want to die. my sister and her boyfriend are staying over for a night and of course my stepdad had to embarrass me and make me feel like complete shit in front of them. he does so by calling me pathetic, lazy, says i’ve done nothing with my life and mocks me by going “ohh wow i’m so depressed, poor me! i want to kill myself, no one cares about me!” which results in me hiding away in my room until they go to bed. they take his side, which comes to no surprise, and basically tell me “shit …

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11

Relapse.

  September 25th, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

5 days ago I lost 136 days of being clean of cutting. It might seem like nothing but it took all of me to get past those 136 days. When I broke them it wasn’t like always. Right now, I feel so shitty about myself and I’m in a really bad place. I got through the last school year taking vitamin supplements because the doctor told me to do so. I stopped them about 2-3 months ago and for the past week I’ve been feeling so down and tired all the time. Last night, I slept for the longest I have ever slept since school …

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3

  September 24th, 2017 by snader

Moving on, as a concept, is easy. It is automatically breathing and taking one step and another, it is walking forward with a hint of history in the back of your eyes and a gleam of hope in front of them. It is doing what people tell you is ‘best, is most normal for people in your situation’ as if they have any idea what that situation is and as if they know what is best for you. But nonetheless, moving on, as a concept, is easy. It requires no effort, it is what we do, what we do, what we do.
Yet in reality …

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3

Sin.

  September 22nd, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

“Wanting to die, is a sin”

Our English teacher read that line. I was in shock. I could hear people whispering and laughing. No one seemed to care. How could she say that? How could the author of the book write about that? How do they want people to admit that they have been wanting to die when they are being taught that it is a sin? Telling us that, would only make us wish we were dead already. We have already got the sin, haven’t we? Why wait around and collect more sins by thinking the way we do?  Wanting to die isn’t a choice, …

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1

Relapse.

  September 22nd, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

Ever since school started I haven’t been posting since I barley have time to breathe. I visited the hospital about 2 weeks ago since the headaches and chest pain proceed. The doctor gave me pills for a week and immediately checked my oxygen level thinking it had something to do with my asthma. After we left the hospital my parents gave me shit not only because the doctor said it was nothing but also because I forgot my identity card at home. I’m starting to forget things for some reason and I want it to stop. If I keep on forgetting things I won’t be …

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1

My unsatisfying relationship with my parents

  September 21st, 2017 by Bre24

All my life I’ve had the same reoccurring problem: I have never been able to make my parents proud of me. My relationship with them is almost nonexistent. My relationship with my mom will always be the one that bothers me the most. I can never get any sort of praise out of her. Even when I get A’s in classes and on assignments she always tells me I could “do better if i tried harder”, and this gives me the idea I will never meet her expectation which takes a huge toll on my self confidence and makes me afraid of disappointing others. I …

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4

Money is happiness…

  September 21st, 2017 by sugarcoated

I am officially screwed.

People say money can’t buy happiness. But it can. And I need money to buy braces, new glasses, for future university tuition, etc.

I just turned 17 and found out that I need to get my wisdom teeth out, get braces, and all that. Overall it will cost around $10k, maybe more. I don’t have that kind of money, and my parents can’t afford it.

I can save a bit of money if I choose to get my wisdom teeth out on a simple dentist chair. But I’ll probably freak out and the surgeons don’t want that so I’ll have to be put to …

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3

I feel unwanted and unloved

  September 20th, 2017 by D47

Anyone else who has a selfish mother who only thinks of herself and respects other family members, but when it comes to you, she thinks you are the most self-centered, lazy person who she’ll never respect because she constantly is telling you that you are 2 in her eyes. And that while you need a mother who’s supportive and helps you gain wings and find your own way, she thinks your life is hers and you have to do whatever she wants, or else she will remind you that you are very unsupportive of her needs and the most horrible child ever?

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10

my life is a mess

  September 19th, 2017 by iamdarling

i’m ugly.

i’m untalented.

i have no friends.

i haven’t attended school for two years.

my family are abusive.

 

 

my life is a mess, and i can’t clean it up.

i have nothing going for me,

and i am going nowhere.

i’ve ruined myself and my life.

 

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8

Disappointment?Always been one.

  September 18th, 2017 by YetAnother

Have you felt like you can just never do anything right? All you want is to make something right but every time you try, it only gets messier?
I have been like that for a while now. Iam far from being a ” normal person”. Everyone wants to mould me into someone they need. And yet I try, only so that I could feel accepted for once. Feel loved for once. And guess what happens?
Everything I think I have something or someone, I only end up losing them.
Everyone seem to need me once in a while and every time, I ask for an ounce of care,

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5

don’t belong

  September 18th, 2017 by lo_15

hi

I am 15 years old, and every day I fell like I don’t belong and I feel that when people call me fat or ugly that I need to just leave this world so they will not have to look at me, the age at when I felt this way was when I was 9 years old and my birth mom got back on drugs and I have not talked to her sinc, so u see it was when she chose drugs over me over my siblings but they are so happy with there lives then there is me all alone you see they don’t …

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1

The time when everything stopped permanently

  September 17th, 2017 by LastMonths

Once there was a glee good boy who had everything he ever wanted a complete family with normal days and a normal life. Until one day his father decided to fuck everything up leaving them without any fucking clue as to where,what,why he did it.

The boy tried to find his father with her mother helping her to move on in the process, but the boy was stuck in time he was in a permanent loop of asking why.

Then came the days we call everyday life for him it was hard and he was trying his best, then one day his drunkard uncle beat him down …

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9

my new kitten

  September 16th, 2017 by iamdarling

today, i brought home my new kitten.

he is so small, and so sweet – and currently unnamed. i’ll update this post and tell you his name when i have chosen it.

 

update: his name is axle.

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