Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

11

Anxiety

  November 29th, 2017 by firefly11291998

I have  social anxiety as well severe depression and bipolar disorder. I was raised in a very christian family where any mental problem is made up. My dad does not accept it as a problem, but as a way for me to be trying to get attention. I have told him many times that if i was trying to get attention, he would not have spent days and nights in the ICU and the ER with me. Just waiting and hoping for me to wake up after another overdose. idk what to do bc he will never understand no matter how much i try to …

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11

Everything in one post (Almost everything)

  November 29th, 2017 by Fuckedupworld

Well, uh I don’t know where to begin really. Here goes nothing.

I’m 17 years old, male by the way. I’ve not gone through much but that small, meaningless actions I went through shifted me into who I am today and brought me up to wander along the idea of suicide.
Now let’s get to the very beginning, ever since the first grade I had this cousin of mine who was the same age of mine, and our families decided to set us up on the same class.
She, yup I know, well she’s been a pain in ass ever since the first grade, hell I think she’s …

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5

My story if anyone cares

  November 28th, 2017 by Max

1

My story of depression and sadness.

  November 26th, 2017 by Stacyissad

Um hi guys,i don’t know how to start this,but i will try.So im 13 and this is my story.My parents are strict.When i was 8 years old my mom was cheating on my dad.My dad found out and every night they were arguing and yelling,my brother was just standing there and i was trying to stop them from fighting,sometimes they stopped.But then one night they were arguing and my dad had enough and grabbed his gun(yes gun,he was a policeman) and thank god i took all the bullets out,because he tried to kill himself.Then everything changed when i was at school everything was

2

Violently Stressed

  November 25th, 2017 by GerbzBaby

As I’m typing this I feel like having a meltdown at work. Every call, every person that I talk to gets me angry. I feel like taking my fist to a wall. I’ve become very moody and violent as of late because of family and friends. They don’t listen and my friends either replace me with someone else or obsess the fuck over my sister. I feel unwanted and I want to run from it. Hanging out with my shit ass friend didn’t help me becaus he just kept trying to get my sisters attention as I tried to make a conversation with him. …

2

I found hope, some things are unexpected

  November 24th, 2017 by Jombo

Hello guys! I haven’t used this website in 2 years and seeing my older posts are quite a strange experience. I came here in 2014 because isolation and depression pushed me to the edge, rock bottom, or whatever. Started feeling depressed 10 years ago! It’s my Sadniversary and I thew up my birthday cake. My birthday was wednesday and I had a violent indigestion, because why the hell not.  Well this feeling persists, yet again. The reason I’m here today is because even if I do feel this pain, this need to die, this very heavy weight of self shame and being worthless, it is …

5

I feel miserable, help

  November 23rd, 2017 by Mkayyy

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Frankly speaking  I know. I live in a country where it’s very hard to become independent, especially for a woman.. Independent mentally and financially from your parents, where others opinion is the most important.. where woman are compelled to live according to traditions, that  include virginity before  marriage and if you disobey this then they won’t stone you, but you’re compelled  to get  married  forcely because otherwise your family turns back on you. I tried  to live up to my parents  expectations.. tried to.. but their  expectations were  too high, they thought I would be too smart, too …

1

A year has

  November 22nd, 2017 by DepressedFilipina

A year has passed and I still have the same problem as I was a year ago.

The only thing different is now is that it’s not just emotional pain but also physical pain. There are times where I can’t breath. Sometimes I have back pains, body ache, dizziness and head ache. I’m not saying its about my depression but the thing is, this sickness adds up to I’m feeling.

I thought I could escape this through some people entering my life but unfortunately I can’t. They made me felt special, yes but it was just a glimpse. I felt it but just for a moment.

 

 

6

Making it look accidental. Indecision

  November 21st, 2017 by whatshouldmynamebe

Part of me wants to make my death look like an accident, not like a suicide. To make it easier on my loved ones, friends, family and girlfriend. The only problem with that is not saying goodbye really bothers me, and generally these methods are more risky( but i’m not trying to discuss methods)

Another part of me wants to leave a suicide note, to try and explain my rational and hope they can understand and don’t think that they weren’t enough. Because truly, the only reason i’m killing myself is because of myself.

What are your thoughts?

7

giving up someone who loves me. Help with grief (advice wanted)

  November 21st, 2017 by whatshouldmynamebe

I can not function in this world, this has been a long time in the making.

The only reason I am having trouble killing myself is because I have an amazing girlfriend. she deserves the absolute best in this world. She showed me what its like to be human. She loves me beyond my own comprehension. The selfish part of me loves how much she loves me, but the loving part of me hates it because it will break her heart when i’m gone.

The only thing that causes me more pain than myself, is the thought of her reaction to my death. Im afraid it would …

3

It’s bad for me, but it makes me happy..

  November 10th, 2017 by lonelylostsoul

Yeah.. I uh.. I have started drinking beer. 4% of alcohol, but it still counts. I know. I f*cked up really badly. So badly that my only true friend threatens me that she’ll abandon me, just like that, if I don’t stop. I somehow find a way to f*ck up everything I can.. I just wish I f*cking killed myself when I had the chance to.. I just don’t want this life anymore.. I am only alive right now, because if I killed myself, my only true friend would too. Only because of that. No other reason. If it wasn’t for her I’d be dead …

4

passing feelings

  November 8th, 2017 by slg7

last night, my girlfriend and I had a disagreement. you see, I am 32 years old and when I was 23 i made a mistake and stole $5,000 from the supermarket I worked for. it is a never-ending struggle to succeed in life because that felony charge stays with you. it happened to be in the state of arizona and they don’t expunge felonies they just “set them aside”. I cannot afford to do that so here I am back to where I started.

back to the disagreement from last night. we had gotten phones together via tmobile buy one get one free and so our …

7

Its shocking what people post online

  November 8th, 2017 by lonewolf23

I guess facebook and social media is where all the deep shit is. I just created my first facebook account and i saw all the shit my family members post and some of it surpises me. Its not even just family members but also old friends. I am shocked by their distrust in me. They have all these problems going on and yet they can’t talk to me about it in person. They wanna go tell their “homies” first before i even find out about it. Which naturally begs the question what the hell am i to them? I am their brother, son, friend. So …

13

I finally gave up…

  November 8th, 2017 by lonelylostsoul

Yeah, as the title says, I gave up.. I am not a fighter, and I just can’t see myself winning this battle anymore. I don’t have much time left.. Well, I have 4 days, to be exact. I guess this is the last goodbye to the world.. Not like I’ll be missed by many, but hey..

Thank you, my friends, family, for making me want to kill myself. Now I will, because of you all.

And to my only true friend – I loved you so much. I’m really sorry.

2

Forever responsible for what you have tamed?

  November 7th, 2017 by ThirdClassWorldCitizen

Digression from: The seventh

I’ve seen many times people saying that no one cares for them, that no one would give a damn if they killed themselves and other things along these lines. It’s terrible being alone in the world, and I do feel sorry for their situation. However, I can’t stop thinking that if no one cared about me it would be easier for me to take some radical decisions. More specifically, if my mother didn’t care about me it would be very easy for me to kill myself.

My mother was always a very kind, caring and honest person who did everything …

10

Can we talk about mental health care providers real quick?

  November 5th, 2017 by greyghoste

A.k.a. how fucking useless they all are? The only thing mental health care providers have ever done for me is make me feel like they’re exploiting my mental illness as an expendable source of income. 0% helpful. 100% scam. And yet everybody swears by them while I am absolutely convinced that the mental health services are pseudoscience. They don’t give a SHIT about me unless I’m paying. And then they have the audacity to take the $200 I managed to scrape together to try and get some real help, and tell me to fix it myself. Fuck all of you, I hope you all burn …

1

My Suicide Note Was Addressed to You

  November 5th, 2017 by greyghoste

Even after every day you didn’t talk to me. Every day you told me you hated me. That I should leave and never come back. After every day I tried to say I was sorry for my shortcomings, and every day that you never forgave me. Every day you never apologized for your own shortcomings, for the bullying and the heartbreak, for every time I tried to share my life with you only for you to throw it back in my face. Every day you told me I looked like a whore when I put on make up when I didn’t feel confident; every day …

6

My whole f*cking life..

  November 5th, 2017 by lonelylostsoul

So.. there goes my story I guess.

I am currently 14 years old. I am a girl. That girl that’s always there for everyone, the girl that’ll help no matter what. That girl who’s always ‘happy’. Or at least, I am the one the others want me to be. I’m always smiling, always laughing, always joking around. But no one understands how much I just want to kill myself. Why you ask? Well.. First of all, I’ve been dealing with depression for over 2 years now. And it’s not just depression anymore. I have a few more personality disorders. I also have anxiety. Yes, I have …

0

seems like my best isn’t good enough

  October 31st, 2017 by vee

I’ve been wanting to go back home since the first night i spent here. Back then i thought we’d bought a ticket for me to go back after around six months, so i wasn’t all that worried. Though my mum told me in January we got a one way ticket. I was a bit upset, but thought, “i’ll just have to get through it and then i’ll go back”. But now, going back has been written down as probably the biggest failure. There’s such high expectations that i simply cannot meet. Everyone asks me what i want to do and why didn’t i …

2

Sometimes Dying on the Inside is Harder

  October 28th, 2017 by greyghoste

Do you know what it feels like to have the last person you would say goodbye to if you killed yourself tell you that you’re a terrible fucking person? I’ll tell you what it feels like. It feels like your chest caving in on itself, your throat being torn out by the vocal cords, and your heart being crushed under the weight of unspoken words. It feels like fresh makeup running in lines down your face and like each heartbeat is a damnation, an act of sin. It feels like dying in the worst possible way and makes the noose you tied from your