Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

6

Suicidal family member

  February 20th, 2018 by Urm8451n

This post is what SP means with family effect and suicide related. This isn’t a happy ending nor a crisis, but beware of triggers.

 

When I was a young boy, I remember my mother going up the stairs, half dead, she was barely walking, her new bf helped her.  She was getting treated with chemotherapy and other cancer related drugs.  She was dying, it was an intensive fight.  She was alone, and my father divorced her.  Her family was so abusive and ugly that they didn’t even help.  I was about five and didn’t understand why my mom is falling to the ground.  I saw her [...]
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7

new here, feeling lost, venting

  February 20th, 2018 by ataria-coronaria

Hi, “artaria” 21, gnc intersex/transgender and hating life

I’m almost 22 but I feel as if I am generations older from all of the messed up stuff that has happened in my life. Every year seems to have un-ending sadness and awful events. So many horrible things I couldn’t begin to list it all.

It is embarking on the anniversary of the last really big traumated thing to happen in my life last year. Months of intense emotional and physical abuse culminated to me finding myself in an even worse situation that I don’t really want to get into right now…

I still blame myself in a lot [...]
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2

Became a psychopath

  February 18th, 2018 by Urm8451n

I was pushed to my limits again.
This time is a combination. I had a dream in which I stabbed 4 guys over a fight, which I manipulated them to start.

When I was a young boy, my brother abused me physically. He blackmailed me to do him a lot of favors and to serve him. I wanted to kill him for few years back then. I really craved the idea.

Later when I became 16/14 my mom used to berserker on me with vocal violence. She said I was a waste of money and energy. She said she [...]
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2

Lost

  February 16th, 2018 by shelby

 this is my first time posting on here, or rather anywhere about my messed up self. I just realized today that I’m a compulsive liar. And I’m like a kleptomaniac or something.

i go to a boarding school, so tons of girls all living together. It’s fun, I have plenty of friends. But, since I’m as messed up as I am, I steal from them. And being the idiot I am, when they ask me, I say ‘what the hell thats messed up we definitely have a thief in the dorm’ because obviously, I have a problem.

Right there is one example of both of my problems. [...]
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5

thanks a lot rachel

  February 15th, 2018 by Tonislav

i just asked my dad for help on my homework and he really f**king told me not to cut my veins because of it. thank you dad i really appreciate you helping me in life in general since you’ve been always by my side (not).

He worked on another country for about 6 years maybe more and yeah i know he is trying to earn money so i can be in a good school and get better education and shit but like seriously i left my country where all of my friends are, im having a shitty time here aaaand he still can’t fking help me [...]
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1

Failllllll mums birthday

  February 15th, 2018 by beautifulmonster

I feel even worthless today. It’s my mums birthday. I couldn’t even gas myself properly. What a fail. Now I have to wait till tommorow.

I’m really annoyed. I’m lying in my bed head hurts. I don’t want to be here another minute. I really don’t.

I cannot believe my own sister did not come to the hospital. So called ‘friends’ pfffttttt. Every dog for themselves. But my own family. Gronks yesterday on shit so they say I’m on G?! I fuvking don’t even like it. Hospital staff so rude. I’m begging them my chest was hurting and she kept telling me I took G. If I [...]
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1

My Path… Your Path… My Dream… Your Dream… ?

  February 10th, 2018 by Itscolourlife

Hello Im back again !
So.. this is what I feel right now..
I want to be loved by my parents.. I want them to hear my stories.. chatting and laughing with me..
Im stuck here..
The doctor said that I suffered from depresssion and stress right now..
I thought that they will understand and love me after what they heard..
But its still the same..
What makes me sad is..
I try to live like what my parents want since a kid..
I will try to live up to their expectation..
I even stop pursuing my hobby as what my parents told me.. Actually [...]
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3

Im not racist but life could have been easier for me if I was white

  February 8th, 2018 by Letmyheartsing

This is a deep song about racism but there’s both perspectives. Both sides makes a lot of sense. I’m not racist, but neither am I pro-black. I am black but my dads biracial which means I had a white grandma, but sadly she passes away back in 2009 I believe(my mom didn’t take me to her funeral because she didn’t like my dad). My white relatives live way out in the suburbs of Ohio, and when I tell you they are racist believe me! My mom told me stories that my dad told her. My white grandma was attracted to black men but her parents didn’t [...]
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2

I don’t care…

  February 5th, 2018 by AlwaysSoTired123

“If I drive fast enough…the impact will make it quick.” “If I could just drink a little more, I’ll fall right to sleep…” ” If I could just cut a little deeper…” These thoughts used to scare the hell me…but now, they just hang around in my head, like a lingering headache, that you just can’t seem to get rid off. Death now, doesn’t scare me. I don’t care if there’s ‘another life’ after this one or if I just end up as plant food. I just don’t care anymore.  I haven’t cared for a very very long time.

…I don’t care if deep inside, I rot [...]
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7

The hotline

  February 3rd, 2018 by zkolijn

A few days ago my fiancé told me that he almost committed suicide. This had torn me down and I thought it was my fault. I wasn’t able to help him because he kept this from me. He kept this from me because he was scared of hurting me.

Since he told me, I have had visions of being at his funeral. I have been an emotional mess. I know it wasn’t my fault but I felt like I failed him. I am so grateful that he was sound enough to call the suicide hotline number before he did.

He told me that I am his reason for [...]
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2

I can’t do this anymore

  January 27th, 2018 by Ziadus

As a kid I was always left out and lonely. It made me create a lot of imaginary friends and a strong creative but antisocial mind. However, it also made me want attention and when I didn’t get that, it made me cry. I had so many bad things happen to me I closed myself off from the world and now I don’t know who I am. All I knew was that I was an attention seeker, money waster (I caused the family to pay a lot of stuff) and horrible person because I did bad things just for attention. I hate myself so much [...]
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4

I wish I live in movies, books, novels, comics, anime, video games. Real world / Real life / Reality is boring & depressing.

  January 26th, 2018 by niki

Honestly, I just can’t understand nor fathom why Most / Majority of people can go watch movies, read cool, creative, imaginative books / novels / anime / comics, or play super imaginative & fantasy video games, and then later on they just go back to reality, as if nothing happens, and they’re ok with everything.

I hate to say this, but Most people simply just lack Imaginations. Even worse, Most people are boring. All people care in the everyday’s reality & their lives is just the most superficial, mundane, boring, & stupid things. Which is very depressing, especially when you feel like you’re just alone & [...]
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5

good god..

  January 25th, 2018 by deaddollie

i’m developing weird feelings for my friend. I really like him, but I can’t tell if he feels the same..

i’ll leave it for now. nothing good comes of feelings like these, or confessing them.

I just wish I didn’t catch romantic feelings for every person who is nice to me. it’s kinda pathetic.

I just.. guess I’m so starved for love, I latch onto anyone who shows any affection towards me (platonic or otherwise)

I’m tired. I’m so tired. maybe something good will be brought on by tomorrow.

 


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5

ugh

  January 24th, 2018 by deaddollie

things are really rocky right now, my life is falling apart, my birthday is next week, I have exams…

i’m not sure how to push through and keep going. i’m not really suicidal like I was, but I am really lost and confused and hurt. I’m hoping that I can make friends here, and we can support each other through these trying times..

life is shit, but it’s not always shit. you gotta hang on for those good moments.

– Dollie


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17

On The Verge Of Giving Up

  January 24th, 2018 by someonewhoneedsajaket

Hello. This will be my first entry, and honestly… I am scared. I badly needed help from a professional, but my mom just nags at me, saying that she doesn’t want a daughter who is going to have records with some psychiatrist. My father, who was with me when we went to the hospital, knew and heard what my doctor said. That I needed psychiatric consultation. But he just shrugged it off as if what I’m going through is just easy as putting first aid on a wounded knee.

I’ve been suffering for years now because of my father. Words, words just can’t describe how horrible [...]
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1

Still here.

  January 24th, 2018 by miralee18765

About two years ago I wrote a post talking about how I wish I could just disappear. Two years have passed since then, and I still feel that way, and I think I’ll stay that way until the day I die. I’ve tried to engage with friends more, but just when they’re about to know something about me I withdraw and go back to the  ” I’m fine” phrase that blocks all attempts at cracking me open and have me show more emotions.

I was told by someone recently that he couldn’t understand me. He said, ” You’re always smiling, and that’s why our friends think [...]
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2

Long Time, No See

  January 18th, 2018 by theendoftime

I made my first post here 6 months ago. I cannot remember how i felt then but I’m sure it’s a similar feeling of what I have now. I am overwhelmed with pressure into going into nursing school. In all honesty, I dont want to be a nurse. I do not have the social capability of doing so. My parents are forcing so much onto me and my mother says I have no right to choose what is best for me even though I am almost 20. I’ve been lying bout my grades just for them to leave me alone and it has come to [...]
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7

I want to kill myself

  January 17th, 2018 by eeyore

i don’t wanna deal with anything once again my father is relying on me to do his responsibilities I’m out here figuring out insurance shit I don’t even know what provider is supposed to be or what deductible is

he always gets mad at me for not knowing stuff no one ever taught me. As if a freaking dove is gonna whisper all the things I need to know in my ear.

my mom on the other hand is making me take religious classes and I don’t know she’s so harsh on me about it. I actually have cried everyday for the past two-ish weeks.

I always get [...]
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1

Victim

  January 10th, 2018 by lonewolf23

My mother could’ve and probably should’ve done something sooner. I know for a fact that things would’ve been better had she just acted sooner. My father was abusive and manipulative yet it took her 13 years to realize this. Either that or fear got the better of her judgement. I don’t hate my mom, I just hate her inaction and how things took so long to change. My teenage years along with some of my childhood years are so empty thanks to all the BS between my parents. I sometimes think I should’ve called the cops myself. But i couldn’t even do that back then [...]
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3

Just a video

  January 9th, 2018 by eeyore

This is a video I thought was ummm inspirational idk the word to describe this video doesn’t exist

if you do watch this tell me ur thoughts


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