Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

0

*sigh* This day has gone off to a shitty start

  March 30th, 2018 by BrokenAngel8

Nothing like waking up to my sister screaming and crying on the phone. *sighs* so much for a nice day off of sleeping in.
The situation with my sister on the other hand is an entirely different tale. The count is 4 fights now in the past week. I feel like I’m starting to get through to her that I don’t like how she treats me. But yet nothing ever really changes. No matter how many times I stand up for myself it seems like the only one getting hurt is me. I actually had my mom even admit to me that she even couldn’t control …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

i saw

  March 28th, 2018 by iamdarling

hey, well… oh, i saw my mum and two of my brothers two days ago. i last saw them in december. they’re all seriously beautiful, especially my brothers. my mum’s average looking, but whatever. i had a fun time, even if it wasn’t for long.

Processing your request, Please wait....
8

Going Blind

  March 22nd, 2018 by ShesAnAcid

This is my first time writing here and also writing about this so openly. I don’t know where do I start, but I do know when will all of this ends, very soon actually. I’m on the edge now which isn’t so very surprising considering there are about millions who are like me too, some, worse than me. It saddens me that I’m just one of those millions who suffer like this, that I’m only a part of some statistics scientists conduct every year. That I’ll never be someone, I’ll just be a part of something bigger. And soon, no one will remember that I …

Processing your request, Please wait....
11

people need people

  March 15th, 2018 by iamdarling

even though i’m an awkward introvert with social anxiety, i miss people. i miss being around people.

i’ve come to realise i’ve never really had a true friend, so, i can’t say i miss having friends. i don’t really know what it’s like to have friends. the idea doesn’t appeal to me much anymore. maybe, i miss the idea of them. the idea of a boyfriend is more appealing, which is weird, i know.

the idea of having someone i can expose myself to, and let them truly know me like no one else knows me, is bittersweet to me. it must be so… amazing, to love …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

What’s the point?

  March 7th, 2018 by stormyskies

When people ask me how old I am, I actually have to stop and think about it. I’m 24 now and sometimes that surprises me, I was honestly convinced at one point that I would get to die young. Well, it was more of a hope really, perhaps that way I wouldn’t have to deal with any of the bullshit responsibilities, obligations, and insecurities that I am facing now. I guess death seemed/seems like the easy way out.

My years in high school all seem like a blur now, but I do remember feeling tired all the time. I didn’t know it

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Hang in there

  March 6th, 2018 by Itscolourlife

Because I smile when I can see your smile
Because Im breathing when I can see you live
Without you Im dead inside
The death is no different with what I feel without you

If I can switch my life with you
I would love too
Ill be happy to die first
Than seeing you off first

Or should I just go with you
The pain I hold
The scar I have
I cant stand with my own feet

Should I just go with you..?

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

Suicide year 2014

  March 3rd, 2018 by Urm8451n

It is 2014, I’m young.
Have yet understood why my I can’t understand other’s feelings.
Mom is breaking down, she is alone, she is going through courts and she is under a lot of stress.
Knowing things can get out of hand at any moment, I don’t sleep.
Not even blinking.

My head is on the pillow, but my ears are searching all over the place. I clearly hear the neighbor’s dog, the child across the street, the moving cars, and how many there are.

The following days, mom starts acting weird, just like in those horror movies where the demon is taking over. She yells, and kicks, and make hate …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

I really want to die right now

  March 2nd, 2018 by sugarcoated

i hate my life.

i’m in my last year of high school and all the pressure is on me.

i have to get into a good university to get a degree to get a job and make lots of money for my family.

my mum is mad because my younger brother is pretty “dumb”. Teachers say he’s work doing work or paying attention in class. So my mum is worried that he’s gonna fail school.

she was ranting as usual, but today was worse. She asked me “haven’t got homework?” I said “it’s the weekend” she just ignored me and continued saying “instead of watching that stupid show”.

i guess …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Here I Go Again {push back the pain}

  March 1st, 2018 by lonely2k14

I wake up to aching sound of my phone buzzing beside me. I reach for it in pure emotional agony, immediately pressing snooze. As I try to stir out of my groggy state, my mind is blank, and can only think of my exhausted body. I tried to open my eyes but they felt as if they weighed a ton, I tried to lift my arm but it’d fallen limp at my side; given up, I let myself relax just for one more moment… I’m abruptly woken up by my phone buzzing once more. Here I go again… I go through the same, process of …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

Please tell me how can you hold your head above water?

  February 26th, 2018 by Urm8451n

Today I lived for few hours.
I went on a date with a sweet girl. I had it all going fine for me, we have had fun, she really enjoyed my company.

The problems started later…

When I got back home, I got back to my depressed mom. To the shattered dreamland of her needs and feelings. To the half fine home of ours. To the family of abused kids. She was abused when she were young, and later on her life, she wasn’t the perfect mom. She is mentally ill, and she many times, abused me and my brother verbally and with lots of mental manipulations.

She instantly …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

WARNING: not coherent

  February 26th, 2018 by Lostsoul_20

I wonder how my shitty friends and rapist are doing being able to go to school and finish their degrees and accomplish their dreams right now? They don’t care the depression they put me through one bit. I bet they’re happy poor little depressed girl is not there to put a damp to their party. I bet others that don’t know of all the struggles my life has put me through laugh at how much of a failure I am. I bet all their futures look so bright while I sit here dim and dull wishing an everlasting night. Oh if I had known that …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Back again

  February 26th, 2018 by ataria-coronaria

Having a another really bad night. Everything feels like it’s wrong in my world again. I’m so afraid of myself and can’t fully accept my reality. I honestly just want to feel genuinely loved. I think I have friends who love me but I don’t really feel anything from people regardless of that. My own self loathing is getting in the way of everything. I feel like my constant down personality is driving everyone away as well. Subconsciously I kind of want them gone at the same time as needing them. I fear that if people get too close they’ll discover the truth and desert me …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Back to ground zero

  February 22nd, 2018 by Urm8451n

I went back to my home town. The horror-ed house and the damned “friends”.

I feel like I have to run away. This semester break is short, so I don’t have to worry about being here for long. But….. to be fair? Those aren’t my friends. Those are kids who ditched their friend in great need. I have had flash backs since I got back to here.

I feel like I have to run, run far.

People  talk about suicidal experience – which is good, but they forgot to tell you all about the “before” time.  The time they stood on the edge. How it feels? it feels …

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

Suicidal family member

  February 20th, 2018 by Urm8451n

This post is what SP means with family effect and suicide related. This isn’t a happy ending nor a crisis, but beware of triggers.

 

When I was a young boy, I remember my mother going up the stairs, half dead, she was barely walking, her new bf helped her.  She was getting treated with chemotherapy and other cancer related drugs.  She was dying, it was an intensive fight.  She was alone, and my father divorced her.  Her family was so abusive and ugly that they didn’t even help.  I was about five and didn’t understand why my mom is falling to the ground.  I saw her …

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

new here, feeling lost, venting

  February 20th, 2018 by ataria-coronaria

Hi, “artaria” 21, gnc intersex/transgender and hating life

I’m almost 22 but I feel as if I am generations older from all of the messed up stuff that has happened in my life. Every year seems to have un-ending sadness and awful events. So many horrible things I couldn’t begin to list it all.

It is embarking on the anniversary of the last really big traumated thing to happen in my life last year. Months of intense emotional and physical abuse culminated to me finding myself in an even worse situation that I don’t really want to get into right now…

I still blame myself in a lot …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Became a psychopath

  February 18th, 2018 by Urm8451n

I was pushed to my limits again.
This time is a combination. I had a dream in which I stabbed 4 guys over a fight, which I manipulated them to start.

When I was a young boy, my brother abused me physically. He blackmailed me to do him a lot of favors and to serve him. I wanted to kill him for few years back then. I really craved the idea.

Later when I became 16/14 my mom used to berserker on me with vocal violence. She said I was a waste of money and energy. She said she …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Lost

  February 16th, 2018 by shelby

 this is my first time posting on here, or rather anywhere about my messed up self. I just realized today that I’m a compulsive liar. And I’m like a kleptomaniac or something.

i go to a boarding school, so tons of girls all living together. It’s fun, I have plenty of friends. But, since I’m as messed up as I am, I steal from them. And being the idiot I am, when they ask me, I say ‘what the hell thats messed up we definitely have a thief in the dorm’ because obviously, I have a problem.

Right there is one example of both of my problems.

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

thanks a lot rachel

  February 15th, 2018 by Tonislav

i just asked my dad for help on my homework and he really f**king told me not to cut my veins because of it. thank you dad i really appreciate you helping me in life in general since you’ve been always by my side (not).

He worked on another country for about 6 years maybe more and yeah i know he is trying to earn money so i can be in a good school and get better education and shit but like seriously i left my country where all of my friends are, im having a shitty time here aaaand he still can’t fking help me …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Failllllll mums birthday

  February 15th, 2018 by beautifulmonster

I feel even worthless today. It’s my mums birthday. I couldn’t even gas myself properly. What a fail. Now I have to wait till tommorow.

I’m really annoyed. I’m lying in my bed head hurts. I don’t want to be here another minute. I really don’t.

I cannot believe my own sister did not come to the hospital. So called ‘friends’ pfffttttt. Every dog for themselves. But my own family. Gronks yesterday on shit so they say I’m on G?! I fuvking don’t even like it. Hospital staff so rude. I’m begging them my chest was hurting and she kept telling me I took G. If I …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

My Path… Your Path… My Dream… Your Dream… ?

  February 10th, 2018 by Itscolourlife

Hello Im back again !
So.. this is what I feel right now..
I want to be loved by my parents.. I want them to hear my stories.. chatting and laughing with me..
Im stuck here..
The doctor said that I suffered from depresssion and stress right now..
I thought that they will understand and love me after what they heard..
But its still the same..
What makes me sad is..
I try to live like what my parents want since a kid..
I will try to live up to their expectation..
I even stop pursuing my hobby as what my parents told me.. Actually its really hard for me to let this …

Processing your request, Please wait....