The effects of suicide on family and friends.
11 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, I Will Survive, Rants, Stories of Hope
I’ve tried asking for help. Yesterday I outright said, “I’m getting ready to jump off a bridge.”
There wasn’t a reaction. I was honestly considering doing it. I was wishing and on the ground screaming in my head.
“Why am I forced to live? Why can’t I just die. What’s the damn point? Let me die. Let me die!” I’ve fallen asleep like that and the moment I wake up I feel so much dread at the thought that I had to wake up. That I have to deal with another day and no one understands. Why does she not say anything useful when I tell her [...]
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11 months ago • Family & Friends Effects
I made a promise to stop harming myself. I’ve broken that but continually renew it for some reason. I made a promise to not kill myself. Obviously I’ve kept that thus far. Does this mean I want to live?
For a very long time now, I’ve decided I don’t want to “get better.” To me CBT is bull and medication is simply mind control. I know the truth – that this game of life is so utterly moronic and useless. To try and hide that is just wrong to me. I realize they help others, and there’s nothing bad about that, it’s just important to me, [...]
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11 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General
I have to act like I’m getting better so I don’t get sent back to therapy, but I feel worse than ever. Thank you for being there and trying to help but it’s not working. I’m not sure when I’ll decide to end it all but I would like to let you know that I appreciate everything you have done.
11 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General
I know you’re dead for a year now.
I know the word death and what it means
But all this time, I’ve been unconsciously thinking
You’re somewhere far away. Just a country away.
But this night, I finally realized you’re dead.
Dead and never coming back.
It’s not a movie or a game.
No reviving spells,
No Phoenix tears.
Just my tears
And I know that will never bring you back.
11 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, Stories of Loss
You know what, I seriously don’t think I’m supposed to be happy. Like I think my destiny and fate is just to be unhappy. I wish it wasn’t this way, but it is. Every time that I feel happy and can say to myself “life is going pretty great” (which is not often as it is) my life just suddenly says “oh, she’s happy, better change that”. Like literally things are finally going good like I can actually say I have friends and I’m happy with them and the way things are going but then now they’ve decided that they don’t like me as much [...]
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11 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants
I hate my life. I’m a minor and that means I obviously have to live with my parents. I’m a girl and have 3 disgusting brothers. The only thing I have for myself is my brains which I got from my mother. She’s mean sometimes but she’s the only one I actually truly love in this nightmare of a household. My dad and I had a fight about 2-3 months ago and he hasn’t talked to me since. He’s a fucking stupid middle aged man and an ego the size of a fucking blue whale. I hate him so much, his standards for me are [...]
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11 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants
Why has it gotten to this point? I have waited so long but the last one is broken.
The last one has spoken words to me that verify my twisted thoughts.
My presence causes pain and suffering. It has caused this one even more than it has myself.
Why has it gotten to this point?
Is it my fault? I believe it is, but the voice within says it could be my doing and that of my existence as well.
I wish I could bring good news, I truly do, but I hold only sorrow.
Perhaps one day there will be good news.
I have not hoped for this to occur but [...]
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11 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General
You are my SISTER. You should be understanding.
Instead, you tell me that nothing is wrong with me?
And I am forced to bring up a professional diagnosis and an attempted suicide to end this argument?
How can you say that?
12 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants
When death is so near, sometimes it walks on padded feet, strumming the ground like a guitarist, rhythmically – louder – softer, then with fingers on the wood, tap, tap… tap, tap. The sound is everywhere, no one can hear it but the poor fuck. It builds and then suddenly subsides, then as each pebble of doubt and every dark word is cast into the waters of his mind, the song builds again on each ripple. Inside his head each wave combines with the last, getting larger and larger. With the sound of the pebbles dropping into the water, cast by each tap, tap… tap, [...]
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12 months ago • Coping Skills, Family & Friends Effects, I Will Survive, My Suicide Note, Poetry & Art, Stories of Hope, Stories of Loss, Suicidal Survivors
12 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, My Suicide Note
does anyone else feel like they have reached out but received zero support? I’ve tried my best friend, and doctor yet neither seemed to take it seriously.
12 months ago • Family & Friends Effects
hm. i love when my kitten lays and cuddles with me. i love my kitten and i love cuddles with him.
12 months ago • Coping Skills, Family & Friends Effects, Fun & Interesting, General
Last Friday I nearly killed myself. I have been spiralling worse and worse over the last couple of years. 2 years ago my best friend killed himself, and it has amplified and set my pre-existing depressive feelings out of control. I have been cracking down the last couple of weeks, drinking heavily and doing drugs. On Friday I got really drunk and split off from my friends. A few hours later, at around 3a.m I walked toward the local river. I stood on a the bridge over the slight drop into the water, just looking at first. It was very pretty. Then I started thinking [...]
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12 months ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, I Will Survive, Stories of Loss
I smile often when I’m in public. A strong clear smile.
I laugh loudly as well. So loud you could hear from a hundred miles.
With this I attempt to conceal. To present a false sense to the ones I love.
The people who’s opinions I do wish to preserve.
I try to conceal, not only for me, but also for them.
I do not want to cause them much suffering by knowing me.
I do not want my illness to spread like a plague to them and the heavens.
So I conceal, I hide, I smile, I laugh, I dance, I distract, I please, I HIDE.
Am I the only hidden one?
12 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Poetry & Art, Rants
I can’t stand the thought of my mother, or family walking through my bedroom door and seeing me there lifeless with blood pouring from my body. I know there’s other ways… but no matter what they’ll find out… that it was me who did it. I don’t want my mother to ask the what if’s. She will always blame herself. Other lives and feelings are worth more than mine… so if I have to carry on wanting to kill myself every second just so everyone else is happy, I will. But it’s so, so hard to do and I can’t fucking do this alone anymore. [...]
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12 months ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants
When my friends are sad or when I people I admire or look up to are sad or cutting, it makes me want to cut like as if its a trend when it shouldn’t be? I’m a sheep. A follower. If my friends jump off a bridge I would too. So I guess when other people tell me they’re cutting it makes me want to cut or feel sad about my life or feel like it should be bad. Even in movies or tv shows if people have shit lives and cut themselves or commit suicide, it makes me feel like my life is shit [...]
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12 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General
i found a new girl, we have been talking for a bit but i think i’m getting to deep to quick. I flirt with her even without trying to and i can’t stop myself. I think i’m breaking her because i’ve started cutting again. I need to break it off but i dont know how. Someone please help me.
1 year ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Stories of Loss
Hey there, we used to talk on Kik, and I’m worried about you because you haven’t been on in a long time.. if you’re okay, could you let me know? I’m worried and I miss talking to you
1 year ago • Family & Friends Effects
all i do now is bs my homework for grueling AP classes i barely care about or fall behind and get chewed out by my parents who i hate to disappoint, but i’m a disappointment anyway i guess lmao what else is new right
my family and friends might love me but i’m starting not to care anymore because i just hate myself so much and become so jealous of their flourishing lives that i’m pretty sure if i were to show how i really feel to other people i’d truly be the burden i believe myself to be deep down
i’m just surviving day by day [...]
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1 year ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants
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