Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

3

Back home.

August 21st, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

Things are back to getting worse. I don’t know if I can proceed anymore, go threw all the upcoming months, get a year older, it’s just too much. I still have to finish high school and I don’t know how to feel about that. I want to escape. Get as far away as I can from this country but in order to do so I’ll have to get a scholarship and because of my background I don’t think I’ll be able to get one. Even if I do get one, I won’t be accepted for who I am, or at least I don’t think I …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

My life now

August 20th, 2017by usedcanvas

My life is a mess riht now. So about a month ago i broke up with my boyfriend that I was with for a year and a half. I finally realized how mean he was. He never put much interest into me and he never wanted to help me. For example, I felt it was neccessary to tell him about the time I was raped as a child because I was having a lot of nightmares about it and I was shutting down from it. But, when I told him he got mad at me. He said why would I think that he was equipted …

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

Alone

August 19th, 2017by TotalEclipseOfMyLife

Right now I’m sitting alone at a table away from a group of families. I’m the only single mom in this group of 30 families. 5 months ago I told the man I loved I couldn’t take any more and we broke up. He’s still the only one that I want, but he never wanted me. I don’t know why he kept me around for 3 years when he was cheating in one way or another the entire time. And when he wasn’t cheating he was mean. He withheld affection, he constantly questioned everything I did, and screamed about everything.

Why would I be in love …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Tired.

August 19th, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like there is more than one soul in me. I have to make a choice, either be too kind and suffer the consequences or be heartless and later come crashing down. I could also just stay the way I am right now but the thing is I don’t feel fine. I could never stay like this. Ignoring the way I feel is killing me. I’m just tired and sick of this life. I feel so selfish, I have everything I need to be able to survive yet I’m still depressed. I just can’t go back. Summer is …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

I am a disappointment

August 18th, 2017by haterlivet

One thing i´ve always thought of is that it´s so scary when someone mentally ill and suicidal (me) falls in love. We start feeling whole again. Like we´ve got a purpose, a reason to be here and a reason to start and try.

But one thing that really scares me and hurts me inside to think of  is that; what happens when the person who´s saved me leaves? What happens when the person takes away all the hope and love and beauty and rip out all the stitches they used to put in their partner together again and the broken soul is left worse than they …

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

Suicide without hurting others

August 18th, 2017by haterlivet

I want to end my life, But i want to end it in a way that doesnt hurt the people around me. I’ve come to learn that this life really aint for me, i tried for so many years to stay strong and fight the pain Im feeling, But its absolutely impossible and Nobody really understands the mental illness Im going through. I dont really like to talk about my depression to a lot of people, Cause they think that Im calling for attention or that its no big of a deal. But i really wish They knew What Im going through

My biggest problem is …

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

start them young

August 17th, 2017by hollowchest

Hi. I just wanted to get my thoughts off and just rant. Anyone else think the house is just a prison? Your parents just owners? Granted that depends on who you have as parents, so it begs the question, if they aren’t doing their job properly in raising a child, why even have one? Like why have children only to condemn them and never support or encourage them? I’m not asking much, there’s certain responsibilities they obviously need to fulfill due to the child’s inability to look after themselves, such as picking them up from school when they’re young. Other than that, anything negative that …

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

When the scales are tipping

August 16th, 2017by ibelieveinunicorns

I have suffered from depression since I was 10 years old. I’m almost 26 years old and all I can think about it how exhausting it is. Today is a hard day for me. I have done nothing but sit and think of how badly I want “lights out” It’s an overwhelming feeling to have to make your body live. There are so few things that are keeping my feet planted on the earth these days. I have 3 children, all of which are under 8 years old, and i am struggling hard to not justify my desires. I’ve thought about what I would say …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Angry Insensitive Rant plus updates

August 15th, 2017by velveteennightingale

I know I’m a horrible person for saying this, but someone I know said they were experiencing “depression” from a medicine: “I had no motivation for the last months.” No. depression is: not having the motivation to get up each and every day, no motivation to eat/shower/live, days spent in bed, every night crying yourself to sleep, 50 cuts a leg to feel better, thinking about suicide every single fucking day. But everybody cares about her problems more than mine. I told my dad I sometimes have bad headaches where I have to lie in the dark and not do anything and he’s just like …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

to: mommy

August 13th, 2017by mynameisnight

why can’t you love me, mom? aren’t i your child too? or do you hate me that much?

honestly speaking, i envy my brother.. for you’re always being so nice and kind to him. you’re so obviously prioritize him, always give everything that he wants. you even sacrificed my happiness just to fulfill all his demands.
just like him.. me too, wants to be loved, wants to be happy.
was that too much to ask, mom?

all the other girls can be best friend with their mother. they can tell everything to their mommy and have their mom’s support on everything.
i can’t relate to that. no, that won’t do.. …

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

I’m sorry.

August 13th, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

I’ve been fighting for so long and its time I surrender. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the perfect daughter. I’m sorry I wasn’t born a boy. I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment and I couldn’t be who you wanted me to be. I’m sorry i couldn’t open up about it. I’m sorry I was too weak to ask for help, I thought I would get over it like all my problems, just like you said. I didn’t want to cause more drama since you said I should “get over it and stop being a drama queen”. I’m sorry I wasn’t friends with who you wanted …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Black days

August 13th, 2017by ImSayingGoodBye

Whatsoever I’ve feared has come to life
Whatsoever I’ve fought off became my life
Just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile
Sunspots have faded and now I’m doing time
Now I’m doing time
‘Cause I fell on black days

 

With the recent suicide of two great singers. For whatever reason, I’ve looked back into Chris Cornell’s lyrics and started listening to his work deeper than I’ve ever have before. His words touch my inner soul. I’ve never really liked soundgarden or audioslave till now. I always loved the grunge era. And I considered Cornell’s bands on the bottom of the list that time. I have no idea why, …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

It doesn’t get better, just different.

August 10th, 2017by Piratemermaid

I could say some bullshit about all the things that caused me to be depressed, but they won’t actually be what caused me to be like this. A lot of people have gone through my situation and been just fine, in fact my situation is probably really easy. I take full responsibility for being the way I am. I’m just not strong enough, not resilient. Maybe too gullible.

My parents divorced when I was five, it would have been worse if they had stayed together. Dad was an alcoholic and Mom was taking care of him more than she needed to be. There was that small …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

August 9th, 2017by DeadHeart

I have the same feeling sometimes, I feel a little cheered up, I have a laugh but I remind myself that this is temporary, the way I really feel, miserable, depressed, crushed, bogged down, stuck, jealous will return shortly.

My thoughts of suicide use to be just thoughts but lately this has also changed for me, I’m coming to realize that my life isn’t going to change, no one is going to come save, I either I have to begin to enjoy this miserable life or end it.

I know I won’t be able to enjoy this life, its literally to hard. I’m so far behind

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Is It Really All It’s Going To Take?

August 9th, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

I do not think I am capable of being loved. I fear that I am never going to be able to find someone who will love me the way I fail to love myself. It has always been my only hope. What if it’s the only way all of this will ever get better? To find the right person who will always be there for me. The thing is I’ve been lied to so many times that I don’t think I can trust anyone anymore. People talk to me when they need something then they just disappear. If I refuse to do what they ask …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

I’m not Beautiful

August 8th, 2017by LifeisMundane4EVR

My whole life has been nothing but pain and I’m so sick of living. Sometimes I feel like my own boyfriend doesn’t love me..but why should he? I’m not beautiful or smart. I’m constantly negative and he says he doesn’t want to be with a negative person. He says he can easily break up with me and find another girlfriend…maybe he just should.. I’m not worth loving. I have severe acne problems which results in bad scarring. My body is flabby and gross looking. His history with other girls just shows me he’s more interested in supermodel type girls than real women like me. I …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

9am thoughts

August 8th, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

Okay. So I don’t really know how this works. What if someone I know finds this, what then? How am I going to explain all this. When people I know see my cuts they judge and say I do it for attention so what will they think if they ever found this? I just need my space, I want to be able to express my thoughts without being scared but I guess fear is always going to be there.

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Off on a journey

August 8th, 2017by Cognac

I’m off tomorrow, away for a bit. Doing something I’ve never done before – wild camping, far out. I’ve spent most of my life indoors, not being allowed to have my own independence, so my experiences are limited. I’m looking forward to it, but at the same time, I’m not.

I’ve been really slacking, not having the motivation to do much in general (which includes writing this post, took quite a bit of energy to) and get packing and sort out my room before I leave, so I’ve left it to the last minute. This is really stressful.

The long hikes I’ll be taking might drain me …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

First post

August 7th, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

“We do not chose to be born but we do have some kind of decision in the way we die”

It’s funny how life works at times. For as long as I can remember it’s been this way. I just don’t know if it is ever going to end. Its really hard, living like everything is fine. I tend to focus on other people’s problems then my own. To be able to survive this I tell myself that maybe there is a reason I’m like this but I’m tired of lying to myself, I’m tired of believing something that isn’t true and nothing but a sham.

I’m …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Art and Life sucks…

August 6th, 2017by helllight

I wanted to believe that my art might perhaps somehow brighten me up, and fill that emptiness I feel every morning. An objective that I ended up creating perhaps as a crutch. But gradually it seems that I am losing all the essence that I have acquired over the years, through everything that I have created. The meanders of life, The opportunities that I received, and that I denied, and gradually I distance myself from the initial will, my goals, and I’m stagnating more and more … Every day I go further, than before Being in search of perfection, now it seems only an impossibility …

Processing your request, Please wait....