General

I’m a pathetic loser.
I can’t even get anyone to say hi to me.
I’m so ugly. So stupid. So pathetic.
I have no friends.
I have no one to talk to.
I have no one that loves me.
No matter what I do it doesn’t matter.
I will never have a friend.
I will never have anyone who wants me around.
I will never have anyone who knows me and accepts me.
I have done my best, it’s time to go.
Goodbye whoever reads this.
I’m safe now.

Mother, father, grandma, brother, daughter,

I made a decision, leave me alone. I don’t need your lectures, you can get off your pedestal. This is how it is and this is how it’s going to be. My daughter, my home, my family. I’m not coming back so get used to the idea.

The end

When I do die, I don’t want anybody to miss me. I don’t want people to cry over me. I don’t want tears if sorrow shed because I’m not herw anymore. I want people to try and find good things about my life and smile at my death. I am not worth crying over. I am not worty anybody’s pity. I am not worth anybody’s sadness. I am not worth anybody’s anger. I am not worth anything. I am nothing and that is why I deserve to die. I am a disappointment and that is why I chose to leave. I am useless and that […]

I haven’t been on here for a while… because I thought maybe if I stayed away from the things that brought me comfort and validated my want for dying I’d feel less like dying…. I tried medications only to have been forced off them. Only to have to handle the judgement and criticism of my family. Because they’re perfect and I’m not. Today I found myself searching up ways to end my life. A day before my birthday. And every year I only want to die more…. What is the point of living. What’s the point of anything. I’m scared that if I do it […]

every day, it’s a struggle to keep enough energy to do the things I need to, or that I should do

I struggle to eat, like my relationship with food is a substantial amount of the problem. There is food I’d like, and it’s fucking expensive, and my income can’t afford for me to eat like that every day, really I can’t afford to eat like that at all…….. which means it’s work to eat. Every time my blood sugar drops, which is often, I have to go eat something…. when my energy sags I have to go smoke…. when my throat gets dry I have […]

Seems a gun is best but I don’t have one, I am broke and jobless and I’ve never even held one. Jumping off a bridge? Afraid of heights. Taking something? Like pills? I have no pills and it maybe wouldn’t work. I have no garage and my car is messed up as of today so no carbon dioxide, and I kind of think that is just something you see in movies. I live with people and I don’t want them to have to deal with it but even if I did get to the point where I said to hell with them, they are ALWAYS […]

i’m not someone people care about, never really have been. always been the girl with secrets. you know the type, imagine that one person in your school people know of but don’t know about. you could ask everyone but no one could tell you one thing about them, only that they’re quiet. i met someone a few months back on here, a really cool guy. i went ghost for over a month and didn’t reply to him. i regret that. i’ve never been good at maintaining relationships. never really been good at creating them either. i’ve been trying to convince myself i’m fine on my […]

I probably shouldn’t indulge in these feelings. That’s BS, some people say there is no such thing as “wrong feelings”, well what do you call it when your feelings are constantly demeaned and repressed by the people around you? It’s not a feelings friendly world for a dude.

Right, so the main thing is my new job…. which sometimes is nice, and others really drives me up the wall. It’s $15 an hour, which is solidly okay, average. The upshot is that in four years I can make $30+ an hour, and that’s just for doing my time. Not an easy thing to get anymore…. that […]

‘Send me a picture, get my mind off my problems’ I txted. A picture came back immediately, she just happened to be in bed, her face on the pillow, I scrutinized her face carefully, the face is the most important factor for me in terms of attraction. I deemed her face pretty and the fact it was on a pillow swung the pendulum my way bigtime. The marijuana I was smoking said to me ‘ compliment her, that’s the type of face you go for, compliment that face’ which is the absolute worst thing you can do in this scenario, absolutely fucking lethal, sexual suicide. […]

I am alone because I isolate myself. I isolate myself because I feel like shit when I’m around other people. I feel like shit around others because I feel exposed and vulnerable and out of place and stupid. Because…I’ve spent so much of my life avoiding people that I’ve never learned how to handle the unexpected little complications that they inevitably produce? Or because I’m just intrinsically socially inept? Or because I’m so insanely self-conscious and socially anxious that the tiniest little thing sticks in my mind & ruins my day?

It’s not something I feel I can solve through exposure – there have been extended […]

I am a 34 year old male.  I suffer from severe bipolar disorder, with psychosis, PTSD as the result of rape, sexual abuse, and several gunfights.  I’m also a drug addict and an alcoholic.  I absolutely and unequivocally hate my life, the hell through which I live on a daily basis.

There is very little respite from this agony.  Five or ten minutes, perhaps an hour at a time.  Alcohol and drugs, in general, no longer help.  I take medication, which has limited effect, even when sober for months at a time.  I believe in God, but ever since my father died, I’ve hated God.  Still […]

hi everyone, sorry for the shitpost lol but i was wondering, i get a monthly prescription of fluoxetine for 30 or so pills (meant to take 30mg a day) but i usually just take however many my mood kinda requires (usually 40mg-80mg) and my pills plateaued around 3 months ago and ive been to the doctors and everything  (and they havent done anything about it), anyways getting off track, ive been getting old thoughts about ending myself again and im so fucking desperate not to fall back into this rut. i must admit, ive been cutting lightly to cope with it, but regardless im scared […]

you people all seem so smart. you know so many things, so many words, you always have things to say, even though you don’t even like being alive.

while i, even though i don’t hate life as much as you do, have never figured out how to become smart no matter how much i tried. i think that the vocabulary that i use is no bigger than one thousand words. i have been trying to find ways to learn to write better over the past few months but it was all for nothing.

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