General

So many of you think I’m a good writer, and I have lots of poems. I want to thank everyone who has supported me in my writing and for telling me your stories, they are my inspirations. If there are any new people, feel free to tell me your story. I’m ALWAYS here to listen. You can comment or email me at kenzie.fallenangel33@gmail.com I’ve been through a lot and won’t ever judge. My story is long and sad and I can relate to most of yours.

I Just joined this site a little while ago.. I’m not entirely sure how to start this, or even what to say, but here goes:

I’m 19. In about a month I’ll be starting my sophomore year at FIT, in New York City.
I’m not happy. I miss my ex-boyfriend. But that isn’t why I’m writing this, or crying like a child right now.

My parents. Primarily my mother. Why doesn’t she love me? Why am I seen as this horrible person when I’m not. I’m trying to make a life for myself. But instead, I’m constantly walking on eggshells around her.

My sister and I suppose […]

home alone very dim light listening to a depressingly beautiful song. My chest feels heavy… I want to be home… not the physical place but just be completely consumed in the song, feel the love you guys have shown me… I think I’ll start my suicide notes tonight… I’ll write something for most people that know my in person, prepare some for some of you, and some other people… I love you guys… I want to go home… curled in a dark closed in corner in my heart consumed in this one song for eternity… I know that’s inside me talking. My mind is usually so mixed […]

So…yeah. I don’t exactly know how I’m going to start this, but…

I have been considering suicide my way out since last November. At times, it would just be subtle-the thought of how easily I could pass off my death as an accident by stepping out in front of a bus by a busy local road, for example-but recently I have felt a lot worse.
The reason I have been considering suicide is that I was ostracized in November for being, as I was called, an inconsiderate, heartless bastard by people who had been my closest friends in a long time. And I deserved that, I […]

http://youtu.be/gTj-g88pU60

It feel like its only getting harder, I’m getting older and my friends are moving on , having families and moving away, and now it seems it’s time for me to move on too . I am never more happier then around my friends and never more depressed when alone, which i find myself more and more . The other day   I swallow whole bunch of pills with a few beers , only to wake up, i guess being such a big guy i need a larger dosage . That was first time I intended to really kill myself , my biggest fear isn’t […]

Okay so one of my friends is dating my ex and my ex is telling her all kinds of shit that im trying to get him back that i am tring to start shit that im crazy and im tried of this shit hes most of the reson i cut when he starts his drama the other reeson i cut is martin and im tired of all the shit how many more cutts do i have to do how many more pills do i have to take

(I wrote this awhile back…)

Unfinished

The feeling that I have now
for you I will not show
I would if I knew how
what would happen? I don’t know

Your thought of me is unsure
I think maybe I could be
just a little more like her
then maybe, just maybe you’ll start to love me

Everytime you talk to me
I can’t help but feel
maybe, just maybe
your caring for me is real

I think you care but then
you prove it isn’t true
you’ve broken my heart again
I can’t believe I trusted you

And then my hopes begin to fade
my world comes crashing down

I had a couple handfulls of cigarette butts and loose change thrown at me today from a pickup truck.
They were all screaming ‘******!’.

I hate my face.

I don’t know what I did wrong, but I have no friends to talk to.

I don’y fit into anyone’s clique in highschool so I’ve just taken to skipping and getting high all the time.

I’m pretty sure weed and music are the only things keeping me alive because I never eat anymore.

My life has no purpose, I’ve missed work again today and I’ll probably be fired.

I know how to tie a noose and I have a support beam to hang it.

Any comments […]

I have been sort of wrestling with myself for a couple of weeks over if I can kill myself.

I know exactly what I would do, and have concluded the best time both symbolically and practically and that is 3.08 am.

~ some history~

From around the age of about 14 I have continuly overdosed and poisoned myself, mainly because I wanted to die slowly and in pain. About 2 months ago I lost my job, attempted a more serious method of suicide, survived, was released, went out and was sexually assaulted, funny enough it was in the aftermath of that, when I got sectioned. I was safe […]