General

another rock bottom after crest and trough, conscious choices and emotional choices still kinda confused despite knowing feeling hazy and hit hard unfairly a lot of times, used to think of just delays but now just laying on the ground motionless but also feeling like a rat in a rattrap , knowing rat is outside the rattrap, that hazy disillusioned confusion offered by time alone and pain associated with the same, freedom and desperation and hope in a paradoxical circle. god this is too much. not to add the figurative nightmares at night. and yeah some kind of new i dunno pain in my ribs […]

Is change good or bad?

One of the things I hate the most is how hypocritical he can be. And one of those things that piss me off the most is how he always fucking says “everyone has mental problems” so I confronted him on it one day and he said “no I don’t have any problems” but it’s not just that he says it. It’s how he clearly shows signs that there is something wrong. Or how he says or does things without thinking ALL THE FUCKING TIME. like this one time he said that (in general) you’re weak if you can’t quit drinking and still have the occasional […]

Today I broke down in front of my cousin sister. I broke down in front of someone for the first time in years and without knowing the full story, all she did was discourage me and then proceeded to tell me the minor flaws of her perfect life saying she had it worse. I regret letting my emotions get the best of me in that moment. I can’t take the way she looks at me now, the look that says’ you’re just overreacting, you’re just creating drama’. In that moment I learnt the lesson that no one is ever really gonna understand me. I just […]

I don’t want to be the one holding up the world any longer. I can’t watch him die and I can’t watch her grow to struggle and suffer in this world.

I’m tired of being the strong one all the time. I’m tired of biting back the tears and putting on a smile when things look grim. Someone just hold me and tell me it’s okay to be not okay.

I love you… but this is too hard to watch and I’m crumbling. I’m crumbling.

Why can’t life be easy? I just want everything to be alright.

I wish this was goodnight but it looks […]

I can usually get past the days when he splits me. When I go from the person he needs more than anything to get thru his bad days to the embodiment of all evil he has ever seen, experienced, imagined he’s experienced.

I know this is from quarantine. Partly. It’s made ‘normal’ issues bigger. And I’ve done my best to not tell him how bad stores were, how hard some things have been to find at all. Tried to work from home myself as much as I could when he was lonely, but now he hates me and ‘has no privacy’. He insists on telling me […]

I have always dreamed of changing the world. I am an idealist. But now, as I get older, I’ve realized that it’s just pipe dream. In reality, I am just a nobody. I’m nothing. Just another ordinary human being among 7.8 billion humans on this tiny pale blue dot planet Earth, in this vast universe. I feel like everything I do is insignificant, so small, my life is meaningless, in the grandest scheme of everything. So why should I live? Why should I keep living, if it’s all meaningless, futile, and pointless? Why should I just “accept reality” ? And what if I hate reality? […]

what does that mean? you have all these different personalities and……idk enough about the subject to even ask proper questions hang on lol.

yep still confused by it. im hoping someone can make it make sense. also apparently im INFJ-T according to https://www.16personalities.com/ which i find really cute because i have a personality disorder which makes me wonder how accurate it actual is. would that be like my prominent personality?

so theres 16 personalities and yet everyone is unique. no one is exactly the same. how can you clump billions of people into 16 groups when everyone is different. however i think im starting to understand how […]

Scrolled FB tonight for the first time in weeks. Toxic shit. Made the mistake of asking for advice and support in a private support group I run, being vulnerable, specifically asking for kindness and sensitivity about the matter. Got called names in acronyms I didn’t understand because I’m autistic, and when I asked what it meant, they told me and laughed. In a fucking support group. That I own.

Nowhere is safe.

Why do I keep forgetting this? Why do I keep stupidly trusting and opening up and trying?? Why do I keep reaching out for support in one of the most toxic spaces on the planet?

Oh right, […]

I am only 20 years old and for the past 6-7 years, I always felt stressed! I laugh a lot and make people laugh, but I don’t remember the last time I was happy, relaxed, in ”piece”. I get frusturated and angry so easily that sometimes I just want to crash every creature around me, I sometimes wish to crash people emotionally and physicially! Within 2 years, it got even worse as I started Medical Faculty. I can’t even think myself as a future doctor in this point… I was always insecure and an introvert. But it came into a point that I don’t even […]

thank you everyone for being supportive while my friend and i were going through this hard time the past few days. and thank you abnormal thoughts for being there to talk to me about it all.

i think the ones that were watching my posts the last few days might be interested to know that things are doing better. im still not happy about it but abnormal thoughts said “don’t hurt yourself more”. talking to him made me feel betrayed but not talking to him made my heart ache. and abnormal thoughts was right. it hurt a lot more. so i gave him another chance and […]

I feel so lonely and tired. Feel so unwanted. I’m nobody’s favourite person, nobody cares about me. Everyday I’m waiting for a text from someone, a friend, just asking if I’m okay. Days, weeks nothing, nobody cares about me. I don’t matter to anybody, I’m not important to anyone.

i’ve been suicidal since before i was 15 so i guess that’s half my life
ive been quarantined for more than 90 days now and i dread the moment i have to get out and face life again
not that being here has been easy but at least i can be unconsious for the most part.

Hi everyone.
I’m beautiful and 40, a mother, creative, playful and wonderful.
Yet I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts and attempts since I was 14/15 years old.
I’m struggling so bad right now.
I am sick with lung disease and waiting results. I may only have a few years left but won’t know for a couple of months.
But still I struggle, every week with being here on this earth with people who are cruel and wonder what purpose does human life have here.
As a mum it’s so hard because I don’t want to leave my girls, but I don’t know what else to do, […]

What my husband doesn’t know…is that I did.

Is DOA still on here?

Hi, I’m new, and I really don’t want to kill myself, but one day I was so depressed that I thought about it, and looking for how to kill myself I found this page, I spent several months reading other people’s posts. And just a few days ago I decided to register on this site.
I would like to make a friend, I don’t know.
A moment ago I posted something and I would like you to answer, please, the question blew my mind.
i’m not good with the english, i’m argentine.