General

i do not feel te need to live anymore, at the moment i have no place to go. i can stay where i am now februari and i don’t have a place to go. the only thing would be going home (im 16) but i do not want to. why the hell do people life? the whole life is shit! maybe if you would have someone to live for , but i do not. so why i can’t i just get run over by a car or something? it feels like i am living a dream, like this is all not real. i am really […]

so i came on this website looking for help.

someone to talk to

and now ive pushed him away.

ive confused him

he probably the ONLY person that knows how to make me happy and make me value my life.

nothing but compliments.

and ive ruined it once again.

i have trouble openning up.

 i dont mean to make you feel as though you cant help me or that your not making me smile or i dont want to talk to you.

you make everything s much easier and i needed that.

im sorry but if i dont have you to talk to – i will go.

leave forever.

cease existing.

i love you

I had a cuts all over my ugly body
you just stare.
I had a knife dripping with blood
you were motionless.
I lay my knife against my neck
you stare at my action.
I added more and more pressure
but you didn’t say stop.
I felt blood drip down as i stare at you
you couldn’t stop me.
You didn’t stop me.
I fell back as i look at the nothingness
all i heard was your footsteps
as you were walking away.

What is the point of life? Is it to try to get the best car, house, job, etc? If so then I want no part of it. I do not wish to have the best anything. I do not constantly want to be in competition with others in order to get something.

I’m thinking carbon monoxide poisoning is the way to go. Does a generator in a small room produce enough carbon monoxide to die quickly?

That is all I can think; sooner or later I will end up with my life. I usually have these periods of time where my life seems to be ok, where I feel capable, but that ends up being just an illusion.
I am a 23 year old transgender man. This is in fact the only part of my life that makes me feel proud: the “accomplishments I have gone through to be who I am” Yet, Life is not going well, it never has been.
I will end up with my own life sooner or later that is for sure. There are things in […]

I just want to know who else like me is out there.

Once you come to terms with the fact that you’re going to die it all becomes so easy. It feels like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I’m peaceful. If life means living in hysterics, being crushed by uncertainties and so on I don’t want it.

I don’t remember when I truly felt like yelling out loud I was happy. But I can’t even compare myself with other people that want to die and have tragic lives and want out. I just feel empty, I can’t continue. I basically fail at life because I have no will to go through it.

When I see the others […]

Okay, So I Created This Account Just Now, But Have Been Reading Stuff On Here For A Few Weeks, I Guess I Should Start With My Story, I Dont Really Expect Anyone To Read It, But Here Goes Nothing…..

Im A 15 Year Old Essex Girl, Im Supposed To Be A Bit Of A Slut/Whore, Thats The Reputation Of Where I Come From, The Thing Is, Im Not. I Never Have Even Been Kissed, Never Had A Boyfriend, Never Really Spoken To A Boy, Because Every Man In My Life Has Let Me Down. My Dad Left When I Was 14 Months Old, He Left On […]

This is the first time I’ve posted. As the title implies. I’m no really sure what to expect. I’ve been reading posts, and replies to posts. I’m not really sure how to begin either.

Well. Here goes.

I first thought of ending my life when I was in grade two. Yes. that’s right. Grade two. Why? Because in grade one, I was molested by a family member. Though I didn’t understand exactly what had happened, or how badly it would affect me, in my little mind, I knew it was wrong. I kept a secret until, in an emotional breakdown in Grade 6, it slipped out to my mother. Half of […]

Xeun

Did anybody ask me.?
Did i get a say or choice.? ( or was i just born.) If there is a supreme being ( and that’s a big if.? And i asked for life.Then it’s on me.) But if there in’t. Then it’s my right to end it. I’m standing on a crossroad’s. Life? or Death?

I’m choose in Death. So why am i choose in death.? Cause my life suck’s. It’s worthless and empty. I’m worthless and empty. (i’m not enjoying this.) What’s the point of being. If it’s just empty.?
I know all religion’s say suffering is good for the soul. This soul had […]

Lost more than ive loved. Why’d you leave that stupid letter – i was just starting to heal.

this is fucking pathetic

I’ve tried comiting suicide 4 times. Most times I tried to bleed out. Then I tried to OD. But now I’m thinking about it. I want to really leave those assholes a mess to clean. I want my body to look like a rotting zombie by the time I’m done with myself. I’m thinking of slicing my arms up again. And cutting my neck as deep as my knife will let me. If i haven’t bled out from there I’m going to cut my ex fiancée’s name into my stomach. And finally write my suicide note I’m my […]

Hello. I have been reading posts from this site for awhile now. Many times I wanted to post something, but I never did, I don’t really know what to say. Sometimes, while reading the posts here,I feel a sense of peace and belonging that I don’t seem to find anywhere else. I fell in love with the people here. I remember a quote I once read somewhere that can better describe the way I feel here than anything I can think of – I love you all, the way you can only love someone who is an echo of yourself at the time of your deepest sorrow.

Today feels […]

I’ve never been happy.

Well, that’s not entirely true.  I have had happy moments, days, perhaps even weeks.  On the whole, though, I have never been a happy person.  A couple of decades ago I might have had “depressive personality disorder.”  If I actually told a doctor any of this, I might get a nice, shiny “dysthymia” diagnosis.  But I have never told a doctor this. No, I have never told a single person.

Every day in recent memory, I have thought about killing myself.  Usually it’s an idle “what-if” sort of thing.  “If I killed myself, I wouldn’t have to write this paper.”  “If I was […]

I took 4 days worth of heroin, 5 xanaxm 6 somams. and abour b8 laortab 10’s.

WTF dors it take to leave here. I’m so screwed.

this was 3 days ago, I’ve been in some wired dream state, between actualitity and being awake.

three nights ago I consumed suppossedly 4 days worth of heroin (of course on purpose). I ate 5 Somas, 6 Xanax and had eaten probably 8 lortab 10s during the day. I wrote out my last letter,

GTFW, I freakin woke up. …………….. I mean what the fu ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, does a person have to do to leave this place.

I know tolerance has alot to do with createing an overdose, but come on WTF, I used herioin once back in the 1980’s, this time i snorted it, forced myself to swallow all the differerrnt pills, OK there is a little tolerance with the benzoes, yet the combination with […]

If I die I’d want some one to take pictures of my corpse and use it as an album cover. Then my closest friends should make necklaces out of my skull. And lastly make soup from my brain. Now tell me about how fucked up you think you are. Mayhem is my favorite band for a reason. Dead the late singer is an inspiration

I don’t know what to do anymore I mean I have a loving family that loves me I have “so called friends” but idk what to do. I try so hard every day to be happy and fit in. I mean I don’t go to a big school so there’s not that many people to deal with but sometimes I wish I did live in the city that way I could always stay out of my house and drink and smoke and cut myself. I started to smoke regular cigerettes not to long ago but I stopped because my mom would smell them every time I came […]

I’m fucking tired of people calling me fat and ugly and hate that I have fucking red hair. Somebody somewhere always has to fucking make fun of it. I hate my parents. I almost my step dad because you was all up on my case. Mean I tell my mom and sister to shut the fuck up when they say one little word. I don’t know what to do. I am so angry lately!