General

Sothe dance actually went well and everything but then today a guy texted me and asked for a picture and I explained to him that I don’t take pics with my phone only my iPod and all my pics are already on Facebook. And he starting freaking out on my and told me that I was a fat piece of shit and I need to lose weight and he hopes I fucking die a lon painful death and a bunch of shit like that. How am I suppose to deal with this? Help!!!! I feel like dyinggggg!!!

Okay, title says it. The elephant is me. I’m extremely depressed. But the reason is so unusual. Here it is: I have a photographic memory. Like the memory of an elephant. I remember almost everything that happened in my life since i was 6-7 years old. You can say, hey, this is so cool. In some sense, yes, it helped me getting straight A’s, finishing the university with a very good standing, and getting a fair enough job. People always compliment on my memory and this is good for the soul.

But the drawback is that i remember some specific heart breaking events like getting […]

It’s going to be a year for us already and even though we have our ups & downs, we manage to solve them & still be happy. My whole family has turned against me & her but I do everything I can to defend her..so fuck my family I’m done with all of them & the only reason Im still alive till this day…is because I fucken love my gf to death & I just couldnt love without her because she’s now apart of my life.We started off as friends but then that grew into a strong healthy relationship and people can hate and […]

I just tried telling my parents I need help.
I specifically told them I feel suicidal and I get panic attacks and I need some anxiety meds.
They scoffed me.
Told me about all the people physically invalid who work hard and achieve greatness.
About the people so poor, they die of hunger.
They said I was just lazy.
I get it. I have no reason to be depressed.
I am perfectly healthy and pretty, my family is completely functional (Except for the fact that my mom suffers from recurring paranoid schizophrenia and has tried to kill herself but for some reason no one mentions […]

On letting go we find that we can not handle ourselves
When misery fails and we find death is our home
Sweet letting go.
On letting go we find how far we can go
This winding road
Speaks like the love that we’ve shoved to the wall
In the end who will save our rotting souls?
Sweet letting go
I’ve never seen a moment where the tormented disagree
It doesn’t make you weak if you cry to breath
Sweet letting go
Sweet letting go
Sweet letting go of a soul and all beautiful woe.

-by Giannaganja

Trying to ;limit the harm that we do should br careflly thought out.

Leaving as lttle on scene trauma as possible is my motto.

I finnally found the quantity of method am too use. From what I’ve read online, the right amount and tolerance to the specific always have variables.

It’s really to write this post, I’m seeing triplicate and higher as the combination of items are entering the blood stream.

I know this site has saved many and have given hope to the hopless.

I’m really loaded as I write this, alot of nausia, no vomiting yet.

caucajun, peace out

December 3rd. 2009. Morning.

I am going to lessons and for the first time in my life im not saying goodbye for Him. Don’t know why.

Sitting on exam. One moment i felt shaking as hell, some coldness went through my body.. Somewhy i couldn’t even speak, just gave paper to lector and went out.

Sat on my bike.. Couldn’t drive. Every single day i go to that hill and i couldn’t move my legs!!! The feeling was like somebody was keeping them. I was crying all the way. Terrible and scary feeling .. It took me 2 times longer to go home.

All the way i was calling […]

Two (good) reasons why they oppose suicide are (1) the effects on family and friends, and (2) the risk of it failing, potentially leading to spastication. These factors are well known to everyone here.

But even if someone had no human connexions and had a sure method, the masses would still oppose his/her suicide (unless he/she was in constant pain, maybe). It is their opposition to this “pure” suicide that I’m talking about in this post.

There is no reason why the self-cessation of a life (human or whatever) is intrinsicly a bad thing. There is no god to be angry, there is no “cosmic purpose” that […]

On wednesday night I went on a wild night of drinking with friends, I was feeling pretty down from all of the shit that has been going on in my life. I just kept drinking, I couldn’t stop!I drank so much that I passed out and my heart stopped. Someone revived me but then it stopped again. Why couldn’t that person realise this was how it was meant to be. I’ve been trying for such a long time to leave, leave all of this pain behind and I managed to do that, but here I am feeling worse than ever.
I lost all faith I […]

Was a few days ago..don’t remember which day..doesn’t matter. Was one of my worser “depressed” days…broke a razor. But instead of the usual slit across the wrist,i followed down,across and into the vein. Let myself bleed out…then i’d cover it..bleed out..cover..then i just..let it bleed. Got to the point in which i almost could not turn back. but then..well i dont know..i decided not to leave this world yet. I told everyone who knew..that it was because i was thinking of them..but now that i think back again..i dont think that was the case…i dont even know..but i cut off the bleeding and..here i am […]

Hi.

Today i made a decision, i will kill myself. And, i have a date, is 6 or 7 december morning. I have plan – i grab  rope, i go to forrest next to my house, and i hang myself.

And, question is, why?

I am a 26 year old man. If you ask me to my last friend, i tell you: is 15 years ago, before my family move to another place. I define friend as person, that is willing spend time with you outside school/work. In my college studies, i have some good classmates – all in last 2 months. Before that, i was alone for […]