General

i actually just need to get away.

away from here.

away from them.

away from me?

im so nice all the time.

i put everyone one and anyone before myself.

i give up things i know, and love

to please others.

pathetic

i know.

the worst part… it goes by entirely unoticed.

people just tread on me like I’m dirt, yet notice something I’ve failed to do.

could i be wrong?

maybe I’m not nice?

id like to take myself out of their life just for a few days and see if its different.

who would cover up the mean statement about them

by self-depricating.

who would go along with whatever they wanted to do and make them laugh?

if not me?

maybe they […]

sums up life pretty perfectly…

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

“William Shakespeare”

March 21, 2011                                                                                         1:46am
I just don’t know what to do anymore, coming to the end of my rope. I haven’t had any gas in my car for 3 weeks now, so it does no good to look for a job, try to get an account or anything else that somewhere other than here. I text people 24/7 most of them never text back, […]

What keeps you from giving up?

What are your reasons for still being here,

For tolerating another day filled with

Old memories and a single heartbeat?

I wonder,

Does God tuck you in at night?

I see you walking by smiling,

To yourself it would seem, but

When asked why you’re ready

With a heartfelt truth spoken steadily,

And I wonder,

Why is it that I’m stuck in limbo while

You frollick on the greener side,

What’s so different about you and I

That allows you to trust blindly

While I simply walk around blind?

So I wonder..

so I told a friend how I feel and she nearly cried. I’ve come to terms (somewhat) with the way I am. I don’t see a point where I will feel happy, for any length of time. I will just survive as long as I can muster up the will to go on. I hope there is no life after death; the thought of eternity scares me. I can’t even imagine any meaningful existence that lasts forever. Sometimes it seems overwhelming that there is a tomorrow, much less an everlasting existence. I hope for the big sleep, where I lay this body down and just […]

I’ve had a proper rough, well I’d say month but thats just this cycle :/. But it’s 2:30am, I’m bord, and here, awake, i think if i wasn’t on here i’d be sarah michelle gellar shooting zombies on cod, lol. (shes a character for all people not up with the gaming times, haha) so anyone want to just chat about…well. anything?

Im so dizzy. I been like this for awhile but it wont go away. I cant even walk straight anymore. I have a killer headache. Did someone hit me with an hammer? Its killing me. Even if i tell my mom she would just complian cause im always hurt. WELL I CANT HELP THAT! Im sad and i dont know what to do with myself anymore. I dont even know what to do with this life. My friend is graduating early and i wont ever see him again v- v. Im tired of this. I just want to crawl in bed and never wake […]

hi,

this is the first one of these that im writting. i dont know where to start. well i dont usally do this on the internet i write letters to a friend of mine that i have been “involved” with for some time i dont ever have the courage to send them i cant. if you looked at my life from the outside you would see someone who was a happy teenager who lives in an average house with average parents. that is me average. but my family is nothing close to average. first my mom and sister dont talk much because of something that happened when […]

I don’t have the energy to get everything in order. I don’t want to leave a bunch of loose ends, but I can’t concentrate at all. Not even to write a note.

It’s hard to quit, even with all the support in the world.  It’s hard.  I still carry my pills with me.  I still carry my blade.  I still keep my safety blankets with me at all times.  My leg bleeds.  I’ve stopped cutting so much though.  I used to cut until I fell asleep.  I did one deep cut and I think I’m done.  It calmed me enough.  I just..

I love you

My story is difficult to tell because it doesn’t ever really stop. I’m a 26 year old female who lives in a southern state in the U.S. I know most people find this hard to believe but I’ve been suicidal since early childhood. When I was two years old, I was trapped in a burning house. I was burned very badly and spent more than two years in a burn ward. I’ve had, up to this point, more than 65 corrective surgeries and I still need more. A few weeks after I was released from the hospital, at age 4, a family member sexually molested […]

i want to die now but i cant kill myself because im scared going in hell..hehe…all i can do is cut my wrist and have a scar and my scar is cute coz i use knife to write those word on my skin “life sucks”…LOL

an older poem from a better time in my life. Maybe being more positive WILL help

“Walk On The Beach”

=====================

Where the ocean

touches land,

we left footprints

in the sand.

An orange glow

as it began to set,

the sun reflected

off sand still wet.

– – – – – – – – – – –

Sereneded

by the gentle roar,

of the surf

as it crashed ashore.

We walked alone

along the beach,

all our dreams

within our reach.

=====================

I’m a 17 year old male. That had just gotten dumped from a 2 year relationship about a month ago, this is my story. With no thought or feeling I ran down a long street… Huffing an puffing I had just spoken to the girl I’ve been in love with for 2 years… I ran and I stoped at an intersection… I look and the first car I see I jump for it.. I ramed my whole body onto a car… There’s more to my story but I attempted to kill myself. I find up waking up with a head ache and back aches […]

A girl with no home, that’s who I am.
Constantly moving, never staying still.
I can’t stay still.
I have to take care of them.
I have to be strong for them.
They look up to me.

Or is that just what I tell myself.
Maybe I run because of the fear that they’ll catch up.
Have you ever had the feeling you’ve intentionally forgot something?
Like it was just too much too bare but regardless, it leaks into your every waking hour?

I need so badly to forget.
To be someone else.
To protect the little girl still trapped inside me.
Never good enough,
Never […]