General

Eating, eating, eating. Thats what i do. No thats what everyone does. I hate food. Food is not my friend. Food is mine enemy. I rather strave then eat. No wonder america is getting food. Thats what we always do. I eat out of emotions and i hate it each and everyday. I bet food is one of the reasons we should keep surviving. I know this isnt a healthy habit, but im breaking and escaping from it. Its like im being held in prison. And my Death penalty is nothing but over eating. I hate food and i hate myself. I need to knock […]

A few days ago, I wrote a piece describing my ordeal on the day that I attempted to off myself. That day still feels surreal to me; I don’t know how or why I didn’t go through with it. I had to make up yet another lie to convince my parents to let me back. I just did not have it in me to divulge to them that I’m not attending any school, so had to make up a story that I couldn’t get a proper loan and wanted desperately to keep that from them while searching for a job in hopes of landing […]

this anit a cry for help i just need to vent before i spaz…… everyone around me expects me to perfect but how can i be when they all call me worthless.. they all want me to get my shit stright but how can i when all i can think about is the past. watchin my my get knocked out everyday by my crack head step father and my dad not caring about me all he wanted was to party.. i know my life might not be anywere near as bad as some ppl and i feel bad for them but this is my life […]

..Does no one care anymore?

I know that it is freezing but I think we have to walk
I keep waving at the taxis; they keep turning their lights off
But Julie knows a party at some actor’s west side loft
Supplies are endless in the evening; by the morning they’ll be gone.

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
I get a coffee and the paper; have my own conversations
With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening, by the morning looks like shit.

And I know you have a heavy heart; I can feel it when we […]

i believe in god i really do but y does He keep pushing my needs off. Everybody gets everything they want and im stuck with wht i got. What if God was one us? what would u say to Him? what would u do? what do you think He would say to u? What do u think he’d do? i honestly dnt know how to answers these questions cuz ive made mistakes in life but who doesn’t? Still i feel like he’s ignoring me. Idk if he wants me to be happy or make others happy, i guess making others happy is suppose to make […]

you know what. I dont know what to do with myself anymore. I have like nothing to live for. I dont excatly know why im righting this. Im so confused right now its crazy >. <. My friends say im skinny. But i feel fucking fat. Mine weight is just like the gas prices up. But sometimes it gos down to. I cant stand it any longer.I know im just ranting but i cant help that. It so hard to breath right now its not even funny v- v.

Seriously going to have a breakdown soon. I’m going to snap and its not going to be pretty, someone will get hurt. I’m like a bomb waiting to explode, its ticking quickly. I can feel my blood boil most of the day, I’m so angry and stressed and upset. I need to cut. Badly. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

well I don’t know how this goes or if it will work. I have been trying to get out of my enviroment and battle all my demons and I am just tired. I am a 25 year old who just feels like nothing is really worth living. I have tried to many things and pushed myself to be happy but it just seems to fail all the time. I am unemployed, no car, no life except on facebook, i am a college student who still lives his parents. I am nearly bald. I am an art student. I have fought mentally just to survive another […]

I’ve been depressed and suicidal for some time now about several things, but one more thing has recently been added to the plate:

I  know this  doesn’t belong here, but I just found out 5 minutes ago that my grades for this 2nd semester in college are F, F, C, and W…

I need a support system or something because I’m about to cave in from a ton of stress which is stupid because I’m only a freshman, though I haven’t had a break from school since the summer before 12th grade of HS. It’s just overwhelming. Also I’m 18 and never had a job, but I’m […]

I was wondering, where is everybody from?

I’m from Bristol, England.

Recently my girl freind of almost a year had become pregnant and i was so excited and so was she ( or so i thought) she told me she was and we started making plans for it however both of us being teenagers we knew it was gonna be hard, and i had the worst upbringing and i always have wanted to be a parent beacuse i have never really been l0ved by anyone in my life unconditionally and when i heard that the one person i have ever felt close to was preggo i was soooo extatic, but then she changed her mind and […]

Blah-don’t give a fuck anymore
I wanna lift off but I’m grounded to the floor
Trapped within my mind, I’m a prisoner of war
Freedom from myself is what I cry out for.

beaten and brused you left her to lay
always she got back up with a smile
a smile she used for so many things
to hide everything and protect you
to show everyone everything was “great”
to make them think she was happy
she hid all those scars, brusies and tears
but now
those tears are slowly starin to fall
that smile is fading
all those things you told her are replaying in her head
so many problems you caused her
trust, love, happiness all things you ripped from her
once a happy happy girl now a sad misrable thing
you ripped her to pieces […]