General

This Sunday evening I shall leave. I’ll spend the weekend visiting my parents, and following lunch I’ll get in my car and drive to the beach. I’ll park at a friend’s empty beach house. While I wait for my car to fill to the sufficient concentration of carbon monoxide, I’ll listen through my final play list and stare off at the bay. Once it’s about ready I’ll take a small dose of my sleep aid and get in. I’ll set some more charcoal on the grill for safe measure and wait. I’m excited. I’ll finally know what it feels like to be taken by death. […]

the sad moments in my life

I figure since everyone is starting to introduce their pics in this ><
This is me.
I cut and have an eating disorder.
I write and laugh and smile at times.
I cry and feel worthless.
I’m a gamer chick.
I text and email.
I use facebook and blog.
I write poetry and short stories
Take photography and more.

This is me theres nothing wrong with me except this mind i got its fucking crazy!!!

My name is morgan im 21 and i was a popular cheerleader in highschool, got good grades. And right now i have a great job and i make good money. But my life isnt what i want it to be i cant find my complete happiness. All day I sit and stare off and think about ways to end it all and then i think how i can stop these thoughts. How can i be proud of myself and let things go. I miss my old life and i no i can never have it back but it kills me that i dont wanna wake […]

Today I thought, well actually, imagined,what  if I had a gun right now, and put it into my mouth – what would I though in the  last seconds. I though that I would tell myself –

–in a few seconds everything you hated, everyhting that was so hard for you, so disturbing and painful, all despair, anguish – everything will be gone… just will end.

I just cryed after this because I haven’t feel so happy for a very long time…I felt so safe about this thought…. I could never imagined that all this shit in my life can just end, and will never torture me again, […]

Hey everyone.. you’ve probably seen some of my posts and i’ve probably commented on some of yours..

I just wanted to make it clear that I’m hear if you need someone to talk to, as well as the fact that I hope some of you are too…

You can email me or add me on Facebook, just let me know whom you are.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/Bring.On.The.Peace

and

iwant_yourhelp@yahoo.com

…. I’ll reply or add asap.

I just thought I would throw it out there.
I’m here looking for help. And looking to help.

🙁

i feel like i should even be here anymre i dnt have a purpose anymre i rly dnt care about my life anymre

Isn’t life just a big joke??? I read mails of people saying I wanna die I#m going to do it tonight, life’s worthless… the very same people are telling other people “don’t do it, you’ll see it’s gettin’ better…”. now I don’t mean to insult or attack someone,I tend to talk people out of it too. I’m just saying looking at it from a different angle, Life is just a big theater.it makes me everybody(at least most) tries to save everybody but themselves isn’t it controversial???

I came across suicideproject a few months ago and have read it a handful of times. I’m always deeply struck by the posts and comments. What usually goes through my mind is a) how similar the poster’s thoughts and feelings are to each other (and myself), b) maybe I can be of some help? Tonight I thought I’d share a bit of my story with you. I’m doing this in part to help myself, but also to hopefully be of help to others here.

Like many (all?) of you, I come from a messed up family. I’m a 48 yr old man. I have three young […]

woke up, in a good mood, cleaned the room, used as little electricity as soon as I realized what day it was. I messed up twice. opps. Anyway, had a small meal today. so limited my food intake. Checked my blood pressure, 102 over 76, is normal apparently, and my pulse rate is normal for my age, 82. Had to help John restore his computer to get his internet to work. my main laptop is out of battery, the next laptop, I don’t ever plan to use again, it just as issues, so I’m on my netbook. I was HOPING to walk up to the […]

So, when I was born, I had a relatively low chance of survival and (apparently) my grandpa mentioned that they should just let me die. Well honestly I wish I did die then. Sure, I may have experienced some nice things in life but I just feel like I would have rather experienced nothing. When I was a little kid, I was a fantastic student and lived a rather happy life. Had many friends, usually in a happy mood, and in school I got on the honor roll all of the time and was even in a gifted program. On Christmas day, I was ill […]

I think tomorrow may be the day…

I ‘m not sure. 

I mean, tomorrow is as good as a day as any, right?

I’m just sick of waking up every morning and another peice of who I am is gone.

When will the pain stop?

I am beginning to think life is not about enjoying the “good times.”

It is about surviving the “bad times.”   What kind of a life is that?

I’m scared to die..

I’ve calmed down alot, now that I kinda pointed a finger at the reason for my distant, almost schiziophrenic behaviour.

Lately I’ve been doing far to many risky, adrenaline filled things. I’ve gotten drunk twice in the past 4 days, me and some friends bought alcohol from someone in broad daylight, right next to a police station, I’ve broken into a caravan, got my belly button peirced, witnessed a fight (almost got hit myself), all within the space of five days. So I think I need to calm down, and stay in.

I’ve sorted my head out for now. xD which is brilliant, ever since I just […]

This world, this world is cold
But you don’t, you don’t have to go
You’re feeling sad, you’re feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
You’re mother’s gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know

Days, you say they’re way too long
And your nights, you can’t sleep at all
Hold on
And you’re not sure what you’re waiting for
But you don’t want to know more
And […]

I’m taking things slowly, so we’ll see how this goes.

I know this won’t kill me. But this is the first step in destroying myself.

So here we go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEYueRVuqmg&feature=related
Just Be–DJ Tiesta

I was lost
And I’m still lost
But I feel so much better

You can travel the world
But you can’t run away
From the person you are in your heart
You can be who you want to be
Make us believe in you
Keep all your light in the dark
You’re searching for truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense of what you can see
Just be
Just be

They say learning to love yourself
Is the first step
But you take what you want to be real
Flying on planes to exotic locations
Won’t teach you
How you […]

I really thought I could do this; keep going, and actually live this time.

I can’t.

I’m drowning in my own thoughts, they keep coming and coming and they won’t stop once they’re here. Any other time I just CAN’T think. But times like now I can’t STOP thinking. There must be something wrong with me.

Everything important has been taken away from me by force, and now I have neither the strength or will to fight it.

Why can’t I just die?

They say they care, but they don’t know me.

I don’t even know me.

As I once heard someone say, If my mind is gone, why can’t my body […]

Had a freak out in Tescos today, things just, snapped. I don’t know. Hard to explain.

George won’t stop texting. Called me to, I just don’t want to talk to anyone.

Feel… Painful. I just, I feel sick, I want to cry, but I can’t. I’m scared for my sanity. I can’t, I’m to easily freaked out, things just, don’t work inside my head anymore, it’s like I can’t see clearly anymore, and sometimes, I think I can. I keep spaceing out, like, I was looking at the moon, and I just blanked, people tried to talk to me but I just wasnt; there. I was […]