General

feeling really tired about a month…
feeling really suicidal since my age is 12…
(my age is currently 16)
always were said “i don’t want to live” to God.

the last tree year were good and still but i was really asoical and currently i am in social place and school.

Basically, i can’t play football, i can’t help my mother, i can’t speak english much more, i can’t have a friend in native way, i can’t make me understant someting and i can’t make you understant.

I love to be sad, i can’t be happy… and i don’t have really good friend even i love all girls […]

Found this site on a random search. So sad to be here around Christmas. So sad to see so many posts like this around Christmas. It sounds like this is the place for me though. I recently lost my entire family in a pretty complicated and ‘hard to explain in a few sentences’ way. Living grief has destroyed me. While I don’t specifically want to die, I am done with my life. The pain of living each day has become overwhelming enough that while I recognize death will end all future possibility for joy and continuation of existence, it will put an end to this […]

its me in a short story…

“I love you” to the boy who left with my heart.

“I hate you” to the man who I blame for ruining my childhood.

“I’m sorry” to my mother for trying to kill myself.

“I forgive you” to my father.

“I want you to never leave” to my best friend.

“I wish you had never died” to Alyson.

“I regret everything” to the boy who took my virtue away.

“You’re most of the reason I’m alive” to all my true friends who care.

“I’m fine” to my family.

“Go to hell” to everyone who ever made me want to end it all.

And lastly, to everyone on this sight who has brought me nothing but […]

It half past midnight in the shittiest small-town in the world.I feel so unwanted, and no matter how happy i get, its only for a little while, and my happiness is always over-shadowed by my ‘Depression’.

I hate that they have the power to label a jar, shove me in it, and shove that jar containing me in a cupboard they’ll forget about. I want happy pills, not fucking St. Johns Wort, that stupid organic mood-booster just gives me headaches.

I hate myself.

For a while i blamed other for being the reason i feel sad, tormented, hurt, always hurting and empty.

But i realize i’ve done it to myself.

Every useless scar on my body was made by me.

I did this to myself.

I have no excuses.

Why am i such a coward i cant die?

im just a 14 year old girl, high school sucks worse than i thought, and i hate myself and my life. why me?

please, please, please help me.

Can death truly be the only way out,
because at the moment it’s all I see.
Other options seem to be non-existent,
But this choice leaves me feeling so distant.

In the dark I wait for a time to leave,
And decided on a way to go.
I cry as I wait in silence,
And pray for some help or guidance.

I am certain of the path I wish to choose,
But unsure of how people will feel.
I hate to think of who they will blame,
And if they will feel a sense of shame.

There are many ways to leave this life,
But how, I […]

You see nothing more
Than what I choose to show
You see a calm shore
When I’m really drowning

Why is it that I can’t say
What’s really bothering me?
It as if the thing that’s in the way
Is my perception

You know only what I
Choose to tell you
And even then it’s what I
Didn’t want to

Why is it that I can’t say
What’s really bothering me?
What’s really in the way
Is both you and I

I fear this crumbling act
More than I choose to show
And I fear how you’ll act
If you ever know

Is this why I can’t say
What’s really […]

I am 19, currently going to college. Live at home w/ my dad and mom. I am an only child. I am a disappointment to both my parents and myself. My mom told me this christmas i was a disappointment late at night. I am not a social person i stay in my room when not in school. Ever since I could remember I have been doing shitty at school and at anything I have ever tried. I hate being around people and have to fake small talk. My whole life I have been basically acting my way through. I act how i think I […]

I cant handle my feelings anymore, and I dont know what to do. Heres the thing. I was engaged to (lets call him Brandon). and he broke up with me a month ago. I love this kid with all my heart. and I can’t get over him. 3weeks later, i found out that my best friend (Lets call him Jake) liked me. So we started dating exactly 3weeks after. ..Im really only dating him cuz i feel like i need to get over Brandon, he has had 2 girlfriends since we broke up, one of which was my worst enime (she had put Brandon and […]

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to all.
May we all find what we are looking for in the new year to come.
All we can do is try so that in the end, we will have no regrets.

I know it is so selfish to take your life at the holidays…but today, Christmas, has only confirmed to me, even more, that I cannot do this anymore…I have no desire to live. There is no point to live. I know I am making everyone around me crazy with how miserable I am, it would be so much easier if I was not here…maybe then I could be at peace. Peace…what a word. I really don’t think it exists anymore. I have heard my entire life about peace…but there is no such thing.

I don’t want to do anything anymore. I am tired of fighting, dreaming, […]

Is it strange to spend most of your time secluding your self in dark rooms, when you long to be with people and you are afraid of the dark. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

That’s how long the Christmas call with my parents lasted. They made sure all of the relatives had left before calling me so no one had to talk to the black sheep of the family who got fired. Never mind that my mother has been unemployed for more than a decade.

They kept telling me to cheer up, that there are jobs out there if I just look hard enough. Really? Why don’t you try? I live in fucking rural Wisconsin. I can’t afford to move because I owe more on my house than it’s worth (memo: the American dream is dead and you should […]

I mean nothing to the people I love.

My life is a sad story filled with agony. It hasn´t made me strong, just lonely and miserable.

Its strange, you read about people who hurt themselves and want to die and you thing “thats a bunch of bull, no one in the right mind would do that.” As far as I can tell i am in the right mind. I try to act normal and cheerful, and people don’t seem to notice how i’m feeling because thats how i have always hidden it. Some days i let my wall come down a little and people ask me whats wrong, and immediately a cover up and return to my usual, fake self.

Compared to most people i’m nothing, i’m a lier who tells herself […]

I want a meaning to life.. i have never had a true meaning i lost my best friend when i was 12years old, on christmas day today i lost my best mate from school… all because wed distanced.. i have another close friend who has stopped me suiciding so many times.. but lives 3hrs north from me.. i hate burdening him with my bs all the time..

i want friends.. i want people who will care about me.. and not judge me…

fuck….i hate my this life…i am trapped inside of my own mind…tortured by depressing thoughts and memories unable to escape…everytime i talk to someone i feel like im holding my breath…i wish i wasnt the way i am.

Like a lot of people, I have been afraid to end things. I thought of overdosing but I’m afraid of waking up. So I have been considering a different way which is more violent but I think it would be more effective…
I have a history with knives so I feel more comfortable using that…well at least as far as making sure its effective.