General

I am born a woman but since I was 11 years old I´ve started talking about changing gender, I´ve come out to my parents about it for about 6 months ago. I´ve been trying to fit in all my life with the girls, I wore girl clothes and earings and that kind of stuff and I hated it, but I was bullied alot in elementary school so I didn´t want to be more bullied than I already was. Now I´m 18 and Dress in guy clothes from top to bottom, I´m always wearing a binder for my breasts and I´ve cut my hear off and […]

Hi all.  My story is the same as a lot of yours I think.   I’m in my early 30s and I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety problems for as long as I can remember.  I’ve seen many different therapists and tried different meds and therapies but nothing ever seems to work.  My depression goes up and down and my anxiety and panic does too.  Lately I’ve been having a really hard time and am becoming housebound almost from having such severe panic attacks.  I just feel sick and tired almost every day, all day.  My boyfriend and parents are getting really fed up with me and […]

I am completely confused.

My priest and close friend has recently told me that whenever she needs an answer to an important question in her life, she prays and then at random selects a verse from her bible, and it will invariably be a very clear answer. It really works for her, and if she does not like the answer and tries again, it will just say the same thing in a different way, again and again, until she accepts it.

I’ve tried that in the past as well, and it has worked! So today I tried it, with the question whether I will survive this episode […]

so i have been contemplating suicide for a long time now. I’m 48 years old, bipolar, and single. I have two wonderful children – they are grown-up now. They each live on their own, and gran kids won’t be coming along any time soon, if at all. My parents, especially my mother, really dislike my daughter, for no good reason. they shower all the love on one of their other grand kids, my brother’s daughter, Lizzi. In the family I am oldest. I am the one who they call when things aren’t going well – so i can either fix it or comfort them, or […]

This story was inspired by ‘life sucks thin u die’ please give her due credit; and for anyone who wants to laugh at a mouse killing some elephants, enjoy!

The Short Tale of Rambo Mouse

Mouse Rambo crouched behind the bushes, staring past the playground in front of him to the extraction helipad, not 400 yards away, awaiting him. He turned his head back to the playground, letting his eyes skip across the four elephants guarding the place. They were armed to the tusks, with razor sharp sticks, keen ears, and the ability to breathe mouse-killing fire.
Rambo reached into his black NAVY-mouse backpack […]

I hate this life. I hate being a woman. I’ve always been different from other girls. The idea of sex disgusts me. I don’t know what I am. I think everything just would have turned out better if I were born male, but there’s no use in even wishing. I’m anorexic, people tell me that I look sick whenever I go out, which is why I don’t do it often. I’ve tried gaining weight, but it’s hard. Most of the time I’d rather just die. People don’t understand why I have so much trouble, I have it so good.

So, like some others on this board, the only thing that’s prevented my suicide for the last 13 years is my love for my family. For over a decade, I’ve not been living, I’ve been finding ways to exist, to survive for my parents and siblings (I’m 26). At least my parents now have some idea of how I feel, though my brother and sister are unaware. How much, if any, would you reveal to friends/family about your frustration with life before you do something about it? From what I’ve read, it’s the question of “Why?”, and the suddenness of the […]

I feel as though I’m not suited for life. I can’t cope with everyday things, I become too stressed and can’t focus. I want things to remain on a steady keel, a steady pace, because I’m scared something will change and I’ll fall apart.

I overdosed when I was 16, I was severely depressed. I spent months in a psychiatric hospital, got better and moved on. But then when I started university, for some reason I can’t move on. The dark, swirling cloud is always looming behind me, ready to strike when I’m least ready for it.

Last week was awful, financial difficulties, uni difficulties – I […]

there’s only one thing I want in my life: my father to love me.

But I know he doesn’t so there’s no point in living.

When i was a young kid i was very tormented. I tried several times to end my life but i failed. In my last attempt i jumped from the window of our apartment and broke my leg. When i my mom (only parent) looked at me, her face made me sad. Every time i wanted to finish my life her face came to my mind. I just couldn’t do it anymore. For a long time after every night i went to bed hopping not to wake. I just could bare the pain. I hated school at the time. One day i just wanted to forget […]

Obviously, I have decided to end my life. After previous failed attempts by overdose I have done a lot of research and decided that the ‘helium hood’ method is the best way. So, I have a few questions:-

The helium canister I am planning on getting is 2.31 metres cubed, which is 2310 litres – is this enough?

Will I have to use a regulator?

Any tips on how to ensure this doesn’t go wrong?

Thanks

i am 23. and i cant get this feeling out of me. i feel like i cant stop crying. i wanna die. its like nothing is working out for me and like i have nobody to talk to. i am married- not for very long either, yet it feels like my husband wants nothing to do with me now that we’re married. at work, my boss shouts and swears at me, and i am the only person doing all the admin work- i have constant pains in my neck from all the stress. then when i get home, i have to iron, pack lunch, make […]

I’ve read through some of these posts at various times in my struggles. I’ve turned here when I was done and ready to plan a way out. I’ve turned here when I really needed to see raw emotion, to help me understand my own. I’ve turned here to see that I wasn’t alone in my thoughts. I wasn’t the only one going through something that I felt like there was no end to…and more recently, I turned here to try to understand my cousins suicide.

I know if you’re at this site and reading these, you’re either looking for tips on what method to try or […]

Today I felt like I didnt belong. When do I ever feel like I do? I make everyone mad or upset because of my actions. I just want to curl up in a hole and die. I cant handle bearing the weight of the pain of the ones i love anymore. Seeing someone sad just kills me inside, and if I am the source of their pain, I want to shoot myself. Everyone makes mistakes; I know that, but why cant life be easier? It seems like we are all just little experiments for someone’s science fair. “Oh, we are going to see how this […]

The hard times seem to get harder and the good times never seem to get better… I have hope some days but that hope doesnt ever carry over to the days where I need it the most.  I wish I could save some of that hope and happiness from the good days and use it when I just want to give up.   I wish pulling myself out of this damn slump was as easy as it was to fall into it.  Lifting my head up and carrying on seems easy when said but doing it is the hardest thing imaginable.  I never thought I’d end up being […]