General

So in my life I’ve noticed these cycles. Where things are good and then they get bad. I realize that’s normal and everybody is going to have their ups and downs. It just that it seems like mine keep getting shorter. As in the good periods get shorter while the bad seems to get longer and worse than the last. And now it seems like the only thing keeping me together is looking up and reading on different varieties of suicide. It’s the only thing that keeps me sane, or at least that’s what it feels like. When I look into what the future holds, […]

indifference is all i feel..nothing else…nothing that makes me happy…and the things that i do feel are pain and sadness….that is somehow not right…

here it goes again… i thought that all these feelings were gone and that i would actually be happy for once!! but i was so damn wrong, i’ve lost all the courage to get up and live. LIFE, why so hard to live it? it feels so……can’t describe it….i wish i could disappear! I always saying i wish that, or that, i want that or that. However nothing good happens, sadness surrounds me! In this year I’ve lost two very important people in my life, my uncle who completed suicide in 25th may and my other aunt who died from cancer, she was caught up […]

i feel drained of all happiness.i hate everything. 4 days left. i asked my half sister if i could use her computer to chat w/ some of the people from this website. she never answered me. of course. thats just how the ***** is. i hate her, i hate my entire family. dont ask why because idk. i wish i could end it right now, but im at school. its official. i’m gonna drown.

i was the nice guy the guy that treated everyone well but was treated like shit in return girls came to me with their problems about their boyfriends and i wanted to tell them that if they had been with me that none of this would have happened but i just never had the heart to. People would report to the police that i had brought a bomb or gun to the school on a monthly basis because they thought it was funny. It hurt to be treated like scum by those officers i knew them and their families. I […]

i cant take this pain anymore. im sick of being hurt and im sick of feeling worth nothing in this world…sometimes i just want to end my life. get it done and over with because everything i do or try to do just isnt good enough. everynight i sit there on my bed with hot tears running down my face trying to stay stong. i collapse and grab my razor blade and start slicing away. MY LIFE IS WORTHLESS

ok so im not very good at explaining myself or opening up to people
im going to make that my first point. So being me anti social and of the sorts
whats better then to open up to a bunch of strangers that will never know who i
am(no offence), and get some opinions/advice that possibly could help.

so im alex, im 17, i am abit bigger for ppl my age but that doesnt phase me as far
as i say atleast.. not like many ppl point it out apart from my best friend.. and
i rly dont care.. its a hate […]

im new to this, im not normally a person who goes on the internet and shares whats goin on in my life.  i dont really have anyone to talk to and i thought this was better than nothing.

i have really bad impluses where i harm myself, i cant stop myself. if i try to ignore it it gets stronger. its like an itch i have to scratch it drives me crazy.  i have tried to kill myself so many times, obviously im a failure because none of them have worked.  im not even sure what to write really. i wish i could disappear im not […]

i slept with my ex many, many times. he has a girlfriend who he loves and who iI really like. i can’t stop even though i want to. we have such a fucked up relationship. last time i slit my wrists in front of him and he sucked the blood, then we fucked. i know it’s wrong, and everyone who knows wants to walk away unless i get help, but i just can’t bring myself to care. cutting myself and not eating, or throwing up what i do eat is how i get through the day, otherwise i’d just walk in front of a bus. […]

People who say we should live for those who love us have never been seriously suicidal or depressed. Don’t patronize me with your do gooder attitude. It may make you feel good but it does nothing to help me.

i made my family cry. i forgot i had the cuts and i was moving the sleeves of my jacket. my dad saw. my mom is talking to my school counseler today. i have an appointment for another counseler in 5 days.

I know it seems crazy shallow, but today i spent shopping for my goodbye outfit!!
I decided on all white – bought some fetching white painters, overalls, white socks, all white shoes (even white soles), white cotton gloves, t shirt and undies : )
I have already made this fantastic exit sleeping bag, glued and sewed it myself, all white, even giant white zip which i can pull up from the inside. I am actually kind of excited now : )) it’s liketomorrow i am going to head off on this fabulous holiday in my spacesuit in my special white pod!! I just have […]

its funny how everything has come crumbling down in a day. I’ve always being suicidal, but i’ve never had the guts to do it coz of my family, but only to realise that everyone who i care about are gone and the rest wudnt give a fuck if i live or die. Am an orphan, spent all my life struggling, getting through school by winning scholarships, working odd jobs here and there. When i finished high school, i got a scholarship into med school. I thought everything was going well coz i cud do the one thing i was passionate about. Am now in my […]

my boyfriend thinks im gonna be like other girls that cut themselves. everybody always thinks im trying to be like someone else. i hate that. im not like anybody else. i am shelly. and that’s all i am. just a stupid worthless misunderstood girl.

i hurt physically. my boyfriend saw me about to hurt myself. i still have the glass. he tried to take it away. he just doesn’t get it. he always says he wont let me die, but that’s not his choice. it’s mine.

If you met me, talked to me, you would think to yourself  “Now here is a beautiful, intelligent woman that has it all together. She is strong, self-confident, blunt and capable.” If you knew me, the me inside, you would know even better than that. You would know the self-doubt, the belief that I am ugly, incapable, on the verge of stupid, weak. You would know that I do not have it all together. I was taught that to show weakness only brings pain, emotional and physical. I was taught that tears are for those who want to manipulate, that nothing is worth crying for. […]

my sister was raped. she lives out of town and i feel like ever since i  am the one who is dealing with it. i still live at home and my parents ask me everything, put me in the middle and she keeps telling me she needs help but wont listen to me about getting it and i cant tell my parents because she wants them to think she’s happy.. . i cant fix her and she calls me constantly expecting me to take care of everything for her. i know it was a tragic experience but she doesnt know my life no one does […]

ever since I got in trouble from my parents everything has gone down hill, I’m not a lonely guy at all I have a lot of amazingly great friends but I completely hate my family I’ve tried suicide many times, my new reach to things is starving myself to death I just wanted to go on this website to release my feelings about my crappy ass life I can’t live like this I’d rather go to hell then live I have done a lot of good and a lot of bad for the next 40 days i shall not eat nor drink anything, Impossible? For […]

 After reading a bunch of new posts today and the comments that everyone has left on them, I am actually saddened by the fact that people care so much about helping strangers but they simply cant help themselves ( I’m not calling anyone out because I am the same exact way).  We do not feel as though we have any reason to live, we dont feel like we are of any importance to anyone or that noone would miss us if we were gone but by us living and being supportive of everyone on here, we are saving a life that may not be saved […]