General

If you relate with my philosophy in any way, I’m always open to networking with like-minds. You may add me on www.facebook.com/theycallmemanhattan

You know, I’ve come a long way with my current therapist. I’ve had so many of them but not once, except with this one, have I ever been fully understood. I think that my problems are very different from others’ so it may have been that that made it difficult to “connect” with previous therapists. Fundamentally, my problems are probably the same as anyone elses. I yearn for companionship; platonic or otherwise. I yearn for acceptance, gratification, fulfillment, a purpose, to be happy, […]

As the quote above states, I don’t really quite know if I’m getting better or getting used to the pain.  I’m a junior in high school, won’t be seventeen for another month, and I’ve been cutting since seventh grade..  Is that bad?  Is that good?  All my friends do it, but I’ve been doing it much longer than them.  I have more reasons to do it than they do, from what I know.  But hey, who the hell am I to judge?

I feel so completely lost now..  My boyfriend, of four and a half months, made me throw away every single utensil I used to […]

I have a bottle of gin plus several sleeping pills (Zopiclone) that I’ve been saving. There’s probably over 100mg of the sleeping pills. I’m pretty sure it’s all enough to be fatal.

My first suicide attempt was in 2001 I tried over dose didnt work. I was sent to the hospital because when I was at school they found out about my pills. Ive been bullied through my high school years and lost a lot of friends , but now I dont go to that school anymore and this year 2010 i lost my best friend she doesnt wanna talk to me anymore for no reason . She was big part of my life . We dont talk to eachother anymore. I feel no one wants to be around me, including my family , I feel isolated […]

                  Seems like ive put everything in one person. I cant seem to let go of my boyfriend. Weve talked about a future together and weve done so much together. I dont know what has gotten into him now. He would help me wiht this depression that i have because he was the one that caused it. But now he acts like he doesnt care or love me anymore. He used to act like that when i met him. He used to hurt me so much, but the problem was i loved him so fast that i just couldnt do anything but try to change […]

谢谢您们的关心！
您们的支持，已给了我很大的力量。
我会努力走过这段路。

The Two Roads

It was New Year’s Night. An aged man was standing at a window. He raised his mournful eyes towards the deep blue sky, where the stars were floating like white lilies on the surface of a clear calm lake. Then he cast them on the earth, where few more hopeless people than himself now moved towards their certain goal——the tomb. He had already passed sixty of the stages leading to it, and he had brought from his journey nothing but errors and remorse. Now his health was poor, his mind vacant, his heart sorrowful, and his old age short of comforts.
The […]

Hi my name is Dan,

I think everyone have some kind of depression meaning that i think i do too. I m here cause I do have thoughts of letting life go but its cause its hard but i dont too. More important my girlfriend is really different from me. Though I never ask if she is depress or so but I think she is. I don’t know what to do sometimes its like i have to wait what she does first. I really love her and want to help her all the time but then i know there will be times i cant be there.When […]

I’m sorry. This is my third post in only a few days. But I can’t stop thinking about death. I know that every last person that has made contact with me will die, me included. The thought of losing everyone I know just brings me down. And aside from that, my brother keeps insisting he’s only joking around with me when I plainly have bruises from our “play fights”. He started choking me! And to make things worse, he’s decided that he likes to hit on every last one of my friends. A while ago, I had friends but they weren’t real. And he hit […]

Hello everyone….My name is D and I have been browsing this site for a while now. There are so many interesting stories here that cover every inch of life and I have finally decided to share my own story. I have attempted suicide 4 times in the past all by overdosing on medication. I have been in and out of behavioral clinics and I have talked to therapists and psychologists and nothing has helped me. I still think about killing myself every day no matter what is going on, whether I’m smiling or frowning suicide is the first thing I think of when I get up in the morning […]

Its all over my desktop, but the words are encrypted.
my macbook knows, it took me so long to get it, to earn it. i am so glad we’re friends.
it listens, and has no perception. no miscommunication, no thoughts, no judgement on the matter.

You’ll never find out how i actually feel.

I’ve been reading this page for a long, long time. I generally never register for any of these sites, as per keeping my privacy…but the truth is this little dark blue page on the internet is my only salvation.
i searched for it for years.
i found it here.

i dream of ways to escape, […]

seems like ive tried everything to let go. I have this boyfriend and well its not all the good. My life has been bad ever since i was in 6th grade. Right now it summer and well im going to tenth grade soon. Ive been cutting myself ever since i was in 6th grade. No one ever knew i did that until i reached 8th grade. I started going out with my boyfriend at that grade. Since then my life has gotten worse. I cut myself ones so deep that i had to get stiches. People stare at  my arms everytime they get to see […]

Broken hearts hurt but they make us strong.

Hello. It’s a pleasure to speak to/with all of you.

Well, what I’d like to say first off is that I am a devout Harry Potter fan. I have been for as long as I can remember. I’d gotten up to the sixth book before I’d even finished fifth grade, and Deathly Hallows came out on my eleventh birthday.

Which makes me a fresh-faced fourteen-year-old girl.

I must be obnoxious to the core, you groan. Bratty. Spending all my time at the mall. Despising my mother. Listening to horrible music. And, most of all, I must bully everyone I lay eyes on in some way.

Or perhaps I “realize […]

I’ve been waiting for hours for someone to talk to. I’ve been going back and forth between rooms, about to ask my mother to help me. But then, I turn around and walk away. She’s not going to understand anyhow… I e-mailed the help group i found online, the Samaritans. But they’ve taken hours upon hours to reply. I’ve only received two replies in about three days.

I know it sounds dumb, but I’m so afraid of death that I want to die. I don’t see a future ahead of me. I see me dying somehow, whether its by my own hand or not, and every […]

What the hell am I supposed to do? I don’t know if you’ve read any of my previous posts, but if you have, you’d have noticed a consistency in them as far as the problem I have with society’s subjective morality. I have several notes I’ve written on facebook that I welcome you to read. www.facebook.com/theycallmemanhattan I am just so sick of the subjective morality that has been instilled. I have had it! I just can’t handle it anymore. People are SO SURE that this construct is flawless and absolute and they’re just so wrong. Anytime I try telling these “monkeys” this truth, they […]

I’m 13 years old, almost 14. Since 5th grade, there hasn’t been a single thing that can stray me from thoughts of pure nothingness. Not for over three days. My entire life so far has been crap. Starting out with me as a young kid. I was always that kid in the back of the class no one really talked to. Everyone laughed at me, pushed me around, all of that. Typical kid stuff. I go on with my life and make people I guess…you would call them friends. But, they soon began taunting me and saying I just wanted attention. During classes I’d feel […]

I’m 55 yrs old and male…that makes me somewhat unique on this site.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a full, complete  understanding and empathy for the younger people who post here.

Last August I suffered congestive heart failure brought on by the extreme stress of my job…yes the very job people kept saying I was lucky to have.  While in the hospital for the heart failure it was determined I needed a quadruple bypass.   The surgery was done on Veterans Day last November.  In spite of all of the reassurances that this was going to make me better and that I would feel better than […]