General

have been given another chance but all i keep doing is disappoint my parents now my mum will never forgive me for this. i have done drugs, alcohol and almost everything but still my mum was there, she made sure that i smiled through the darkest shadows of my life. but she never really got a chance to know what i was going through. i laughed to the burst of the loudest of my voice and with that  everyone always thought i was fine and going through  a good path. i have this pain and anger within, what better killing myself than having being shouted […]

does it ever go away?
the chronic depression, the anxiety?
the suicidal thoughts every minute of the day?
the want to just pop a vein?
the need to just leave and never come back?
let me know yeah.

I was raped 30 plus years ago by a boyfriend I trusted. He told me he loved me. He was my first. He then put my head up against a wall and told me if I didn’t have sex with him he would put my head through the wall. I’ll never forget the pain or the humiliation. My choice was taken away. He tried to strangle me. He slapped me. He used me. This pain will never go away. My heart will never mend. Although he’s out of my life, I will never be the same. My […]

I lost my father 2 years ago…my mother attempted suicide last year on the day before mother’s day and i was the one to find her and call the ambulance..and lift her outside. A month later she was all better and told me she doesnt want to be around me anymore and I have been living by myself ever since.Im onli 17 and I havent heard from her in over 6 months and My girlfriend who there for me thru it all and helped me jus broke up with me cus she doesnt want to be in a relationship rite now anymore…I don’t see the […]

there’s so much hate in my heart. and unlike fantasy movies where I can turn into a powerful villain aimed to destroy the world, I can’t do anything else but suffer it.

I’m having overwhelming urges to OD tonight. I have the sleeping pills. I cleaned up my room. I’m shaking and my heart is racing, even after taking 2 klonopins. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I feel this need to do it. Now. I need help. I’m not sure what I should do. I don’t want to be locked up again. I don’t think I want to die. I don’t know what I want. Maybe just to sleep. For a long time.

I’m almost 38 and have done nothing with my life i feel like life has passed me by and i’m not going anywhere. I came to this site hoping i could meet people with similar interests

i have been having alot of suicidal thoughts, i do cut mywrists, just i have had a very rough life, i lost my mom and was abused by my dad but not anymore, i feel like hanging myslef and cutting my wrsits to watch all the blood fall out from my body and watch myslef die, i mean i know i have friends and all but half the time they cant be there for me, i have been having alot of suicidal thoughts lately, i want them to stop but i dont know how i can get them to stop, its gotten to the point […]

After I masterbate hahaha this is actually serious please help me out

everyone deserves to be loved. no one should go through the pain i suffer through. its not fair for one person to have everything, caring family, friends, lovers, supporters. and then i have nothing. i work so hard on being happy. i have no friends, they all abandoned me. i have no family. my mom hates me. she just told me i cant ever come to her house again, even thogh she knows i have absolutely no where else to go. if it wasnt for my boyfriend, i would be dead now. but things arent looking good for us anymore. going in depth […]

My life isn’t hard. In fact, it’s pretty easy. Top school. Top university. Loving parents. Amazing friends. But having pushed through devastating bouts of M.E. and having been plagued by depression since I can remember, this time, I can’t seem to do anything but cry. Loneliness and hopelessness pervades my every thought. All I can think about is pain. My head hurts constantly. I feel sick constantly. The panic and fear never leave my body. I am stuck, watching life go by, while I’m paralysed. I can’t move. Not forward. Not productively. Exhaustion never goes away. Apathetically, I watch the world. Unmoving. Even though I’d […]

I happened upon this website today, and I’ve been reading some of your stories, and that compelled me to sign up. I want to tell you a bit about me, and why I came here.

I’ll start by telling you a bit about myself: I have a terminal, muscle degenerative condition called Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) – I am in a wheelchair and can’t do much on my own, my muscles are so weak that I can’t even lift a glass of water. I have had many problems in life, physically, mentally and emotionally, from growing up in an abusive household to being forced to live on my […]

lately i have had suicidal thoughs and they got progresively worse to were i think about it every day, it started with my parents got a divorce and my mom started yelling at me and acting like all i do is make her life worse and then at school people treat me like a freak just because im the tallest one outa everyone, the people who i thought were friends didnt even care to check on me when i was in the hospital for a month and a half and then to make matters even worse the girl who i thought i was in love […]

Now I’m not going to give you all some sob story about how horrible my life is because personally I find that extreamly annoying, I’m just here to share my thoughts on why I’ve decided that although the life I have had has been absolutely amazing I feel my time is up on this planet. I’m 16 on my way to be 17 (yes I am well aware I am young) and I’ve been suffering from several extreamly painful chronic illness (most likely as a result of being a premature twin who was born breach).  Now I’m not trying to annoy any of you with […]

I don’t like to complain, my problems are my own, but at this point it kind of concerns the world outside me.  What I do by my self or to my self is my business, lately though it’s a matter which can possibly involve other people, maybe random maybe not.  2 years ago i had an episode involving a whole lot of alcohol, my gun and an “interaction”, i was on my way to either do it my self or get some cops jumping.  nobody got shot, i was simply to drunk, and actually barfed in the cop car.

Basically since I have crossed that point […]

Since a young child, around the age of seven I have felt depression,a depression that seems to have thickened over the years,no other answer have I found but death,I will not do this to feel relief,but to no longer feel at all, may your god bless you all….this is not my true inn. of hope so then I shall proceed to seek elsewhere

I’m sorry I’m posting so much, but things just keep happening. I took about a week to just drift through my life and see what happens. Well, it turns out that nobody really notices that I’m there, but that was no surprise. I got into more arguements with my parents, which ended in more tears. I started writing my own personal journal, but I ended up just writing about how I hate myself. I’m sick of living, I’m sick of everyone I’m stuck being around, I’m sick of being so worthless I can’t even look myself in the mirror. I just want to scream out, […]

I used to have more hope – I used to tell myself – I’ll try this – I’ll try that – maybe it’ll get better – are the abuse and depression program more than 35 years or are they a lifetime program? Man – I DID NOT Sign up for this shit

i’ve been depressed for several years due to a lot of different reasons.
lately i’ve been having so many doubts and i’m questioning my sexuality.
i think i’m bisexual, but i’m not completly sure, i am very confused and i dont know what to do.
i only know one thing, and that is that if i actually am bisexual, my family would be extremely disappointed, mostly my mother, she would never accept it.
can anybody give some advice?