General

How does one NOT be angry at bitter when their whole life they’ve been screwed time and time again? First by birth- who you are born to is the NUMBER 1 factor- if your parents are rich or poor as fuck, or nice and loving vs abusive and harming. If you are born to shitty parents who abused you and were poor af, you are so screwed from the get go.

You are either set up for success or failure from the moment you are conceived. You either have doors opened for you or have little to no opportunities. Intelligence, hard work […]

I didn’t think I’d see this website again. But I’ve been calling for death again. Things have become the worst, finally, when I have done so much to avoid this moment. I’ll tell you all on the internet a little something – I’ve been going to inpatients, housing and all sorts of shitty programs to avoid this moment. I’ve been calling for death out of revenge. All of you on here should pray and hope I go, because I’ve been making the people around me miserable with my cries. I’m paranoid even posting this online. Threatening suicide is all I have. Nothing can take me […]

????? ???? ????? ???????? ??????

???? ????? ???????? ?? ???????: ??? ???????

???? ????? ???????? ?? ??????? ????? ???????????? ??????? ??? ??????????, ? ????? ???????? ??? ??????? ???? ????? ????? ??????? ????????. ??????? – ?????????? ?????????? ???????????? ???????? ? ???? ?? ?????????? ? ????. ?????????????? ? ????? ???????? ????? ???? ???????? ????? ??? ???, ??? ???????????? ???????? ??????. ?? ??? ?????? ?????????? ????? ???? ?????????

????? ?? ?????????? ????????? ???????? ?????????? ?????????. ????? ????????? ????????????? ?????? ? ?????? ?? ????????? ??????, ??????? ?????????? ? ?????????? ?????. ????? ??????? ??????? ????? ????????? ? ??? ?????????? ? ?????????.

?????? ????????? ???????? ?????????????? ??????????, ??? ??????? ?????? ????? P2P? […]

????? ???? ????? ???????? ??????

??? ??????? ?????? ????? P2P?

?????????????? ? P2P (peer-to-peer) ???????????? ?????????? ??? ????? ?????????? ???????? ?????????. ??????, ????? ???? ??? ?? ?????????? ??????? ?????, ?????? ??????: ??? ??????? ???????

?????????? ????????? ????????, ??????? ????? ?????? ??? ??????? ?????? ?? P2P ??????????. ???? ?? ???????? ?????????? ???????? – ??? ????????????? ??????????? ????????? ??????, ????? ??? PayPal ??? Skrill. ??? ????????? ??????? ???????????? ??????? ? ??????? ??????? ?????? ???????.

????? ????, ????????? ????????? P2P ???????????? ?????????? ??????????? ?????? ?????? ???????, ????????, ?????? ?????????? ???????. ?????? ??? ?????? ?????????????, ?????????, ??? ?? ??????? ??? ????????? ?????? ?????? ??????? ?? ????????? ???? ?????????.

??????? ??? 1Xbet ? […]

What If The World is Actually a Prison? | The Philosophy of Arthur Schopenhauer |

11min

I feel like I’m dying inside increasingly every day. I cannot take it anymore. I have realized being suicidal is so much more than I could ever explain in words. But the thought of a failed suicide attempt is terrifying to me. The shame is too much to bear which will make me more suicidal in turn. My family doesn’t know I used to be suicidal. I mean what do I even tell them. How do I tell them I don’t want to bring them shame by unaliving myself. I also don’t want to give anyone a reason to underestimate me even more. Sometimes there […]

 I will never get to know her again. I won’t get to laugh and joke with her. I won’t get to go out with her. I will never see her smile at me. I will never get to hug her again. It makes me wish I was dead.

Life has been so painful recently, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this terrible in my life. I can’t stop thinking about her, and that makes everything feel even worse. I wish I had her to comfort me when I feel like this.

I can’t believe it’s been two years since I’ve talked to her in […]

Not really a whole lot to say, not much has changed in my head for awhile now. I’m so tired all the time, but I can’t even sleep and it’s kinda fucking me over. I got to go out of the house today with my mom, shopping and to get some food, and I think it was a good thing for me – at least it got me showered and what not. Plus I got to hang with mom for a bit, which I always enjoy doing. It was very dreary today. I’m trying to eat as little as possible. Not 100% sure why, but […]

Not much apparently.

-I am semi-disabled. I cannot work. Those 2 alone make me worthless according to society.
-I am poor. The poor are considered a pox on society. They’d throw us in a gas chamber if they could.
-I am middle aged. Soon to be “old.” Old ppl are worthless in the Western society.
-I don’t have any marketable skills aside from being an academic. Which is also worthless in today’s society. I am very intelligent and knowledgeable in so many areas- math, sciences, finance, economics, etc- but do not specialize in anything- so not worth much […]

????? ???? ????? ???????? ??????

????????? ?? ????????? ? ??????????

??? ??????????? ????? ?????????? ???? ???????? ?????? ??? ??????? ? ????????, ????????? ?????????? ? ?????, ?? ???? ??? ???????????? ? ???????????? ????????? ?? ?????????? ??????????, ????? ??? ?????????. ??????, ?????? ???????????? ????????? ?????????????? ???? ????????, ????????? ?? ? ???????? ??????????? ??????.

?????????? ????????? ???????? ????????? ?? ????????? ? ??????????. ???? ?? ??? – ??????????? ?????? ?????? ??? ??????? ????? ????????? ????? ? ??????????? ?????????. ????????, ?????????? ??????? ????? ????????? ??????? ? ????? ????????? ??? ?????? ??????? ?? ?????? ????????, ?? ??? ???????? ???????????? ??????????????.

?????, ????? ??????? ???????????? ?????????? ??? ?????? ? ?????????? ? ??? ??????? ?????????. […]

It’s not that I want to stop existing. It’s that I want to stop existing like this. Full of regret, sadness, longing, loneliness. And I can’t see any plausible ways to make that happen. If I put in enough effort and time, then maybe I could earn myself a little relief. But a lot of the time, the thought of just ceasing to be seems preferable.

I don’t view death as a liberation, or an escape. More just a dissolution of what I am now back into the rest of the world. I don’t know what it’s like to be bacteria, or a worm, or a […]

https://myfox8.com/news/north-carolina/nc-man-wins-1000-a-day-for-life-after-buying-2-ticket/

Wouldn’t it be nice to win $1000/day for LIFE? Ok, so the man chose lump sum, and apparently “life” means 15.75 years for this dude.

He had the option of getting 365,000/yr every year or lump sum of 5,750,000 (which would equal to 15.75 years). “Life” equates to 20 years in the lotto world so idk why he’s only getting 15.75 years. Post-tax lump sum is 4.08M.

Well whatever the math is, I would LOVE to get 1000/d every day for 15 or 20 fucking years. How good would that be? Imagine how much easier you could BREATHE if you […]

I really am mindless at this point. I can’t do this anymore.

How are people able to do this? Go to school, maybe go to college or a trade school or the military, find a job, work and make money and save money, maybe find love, raise some kids, retire in their 50s and coast off of that until they pass on and give to the next generation?

Ever since I came on here, all those years ago, when I screwed up initially in college, and tried to rebound and make the best of what I had, it’s just gone downhill. There was some good in between, […]

Finally. I did it. I finally did it. I finally ripped the band-aid off. I deleted her contact info and threw away that stupid stuffed bear. It took me being very drunk and a coin flip to do it, but I finally did it. I called her earlier. Straight to voice mail. She blocked me of course. But now I can finally move on. It hurt. It really did. Bitter sweet as hell, but I did it. When I sober up there’s nothing I can do about it. I memorized her […]

No activity at all for 2.5d

Where y’all at peeps?

The title of this song says it all about my life… -_-

I need to be better with my actual family though, who I have such a hard time talking to, because of my own thoughts and actions. I get annoyed at them unnecessarily a lot of the time. I feel like I’ve black sheeped myself on purpose after things started going downhill in my life.

They care and try to help me in multiple ways and all I do is disappoint them it seems.

Younger family I don’t keep up with, older family who try to help me but here I am, broke and jobless. A husk of what I used to be before […]

Hi, hello, greetings!

Is that the right way to start this kind of thing? I don’t know. Really, I don’t care either. I don’t care about a lot of things I probably should.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve been suicidal since I was ten, so about a quarter of a century. Yeah, I’m old, deal with it. I had to.

I’ve tried so many times, but it’s never worked out; I keep waking up in ICU with a cable shoved down my throat and a bunch of needles in my arm. I feel like I’m cursed to keep failing, cursed to keep walking this shitty […]

long time, long time since I posted twice in a day. Back to back even longer.

but it was burning me up, wanting to know if anyone else who is suicidal watches entertainments with suicide as a subject?

I’m rewatching Haunting of Hill House, great show, makes me cry like a baby every time. Don’t know if I noticed before, how central suicide is to the whole thing.

I guess I find this one particularly interesting because it looks more at what comes after. Plenty of movies at least cover leading up, I know what it looks like personally and movies sometimes miss that.

This damn show though, it […]