Category:

I Will Survive

I did this, you can too.

Standing through the waves

by Urm8451n 10/6/2017

written by Urm8451n

Lately, with my mind and experience expanding, I learn to accept more burden and horrors as a road obstacles.
It is as if I’m riding my car through a bumpy road. Sometimes in encountering a fallen tree, or just small pockets.

I learnt to survive by my own, and followed the importance of knowledge. Right now I’m following my plan to use academic education as a “way out ticket”.

I will try to concur the highest summits man has ever seen, only to let myself the relief to live quietly and alone , perhaps allowing me to build a normal family (unlike my ancestors).

I know the road, […]

10/6/2017 2 comments

Getting better

by Rosebrider 10/6/2017

written by Rosebrider

A while back, I posted how I wanted to kill myself. It’s been a month since I made that and things have gone better. Although, the thoughts have come and gone since then. It’s just a matter of me getting use to everything right now. I still question a lot about what the future has in store for me but I really hope that things will turn out okay in the end.

Here’s to hoping I make it until December.

10/6/2017 3 comments

Relapse.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 9/25/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

5 days ago I lost 136 days of being clean of cutting. It might seem like nothing but it took all of me to get past those 136 days. When I broke them it wasn’t like always. Right now, I feel so shitty about myself and I’m in a really bad place. I got through the last school year taking vitamin supplements because the doctor told me to do so. I stopped them about 2-3 months ago and for the past week I’ve been feeling so down and tired all the time. Last night, I slept for the longest I have ever slept since school […]

9/25/2017 11 comments

rants about emotional attachment

by deadgrave 9/23/2017

written by deadgrave

now i know i have problems with emotionally attaching myself to a boy. currently it’s to this one boy who i have ‘liked’ for almost the past two years. i know i shouldn’t depend my happiness on him, but i don’t know how to stop it.

last year he said he liked me back, but i just told him i liked him again today, but i included that i expected him not to like me now and all he said was “thanks for your kind words”

that fucking hit me harder than it should’ve. now i feel like i can’t work on my school work or do […]

9/23/2017 8 comments

Hello Halcion

by The Distress 9/22/2017

written by The Distress

Halcion, you’re my friend.
But Halcion, where have you been?
When I slept with you there was no option to wake.
As if a dreamful slate of life appeared just for the take.
And it was beyond great to never arise.
From a slumber which no words could surmise.
I can do whatever I want in my dreams.
Beyond my wildest fantasies so it seems.
Yet when I dream all day and night to never face reality.
I might as well shut my life down, mark me as another casualty.
But like I’ve always stated, I’m too afraid to jump.
I’ll stand there, slowly emotions […]

9/22/2017 3 comments

I didn’t jump. I lived to see my 16th birthday! :-)

by Dawnstar 9/19/2017

written by Dawnstar

Broken Arch

I’m not suicidal at this time, and this story, although true, has taken place in the past. Perhaps writing this is part of my own integration process, and maybe it can help somebody else, I don’t know? Anyway, hello everyone, and to quote Hannah from 13 Reasons Why, “It’s me, live and in stereo”! 😉

Unlike the Netflix series, I wish I could list specific reasons why I became suicidal. I wasn’t raped by a family member or anything like that, and I really have a life which (although certainly far from perfect) I’m sure many would […]

9/19/2017 9 comments

don’t belong

by lo_15 9/18/2017

written by lo_15

I am 15 years old, and every day I fell like I don’t belong and I feel that when people call me fat or ugly that I need to just leave this world so they will not have to look at me, the age at when I felt this way was when I was 9 years old and my birth mom got back on drugs and I have not talked to her sinc, so u see it was when she chose drugs over me over my siblings but they are so happy with there lives then there is me all alone you see they don’t […]

9/18/2017 5 comments

Day 3# ->Taking control

by Urm8451n 9/18/2017

written by Urm8451n

Hey, good day for everyone.
I won’t update about recent progress in the last goals [don’t have time atm]. But will bring up another problem I’m struggling with.
Taking control.

Lately I lost all control of my life. Lived in poor conditions, stopped working out, started spending time like a freaking zombie infront of my computer, hoping to get new notifications from anything! (even from advertisings) – you could call it a new level of loneliness, but for me it is just plain sad.

My idea of helping me to get into “work” will be using the following skills:
1. Taking responsibility; each individual and its own […]

9/18/2017 0 comment

I’m so desperate and useless

by Kiwiz 9/17/2017

written by Kiwiz

I look like a spoiled brat keep flinging throwing paper, punching on the table and burst into tears, my mom asked me “What happened? Fill her in.” I said because my TSI reading score is appalling and I cannot pass the TSI reading test. I don’t like the TSI reading test because it keeps bugging me some sesquipedalian to describe a word that’s very long humongous and multisyllabic words I don’t even know like ravenous, sanguine, prominent, upholding, vigilance, … My mom said let settle down, get over it, look on the bright side, and put that test behind me. I gulped down some water […]

9/17/2017 10 comments

This post is for all of you…. More than welcome to share mind ideas

by Urm8451n 9/16/2017

written by Urm8451n

I recently had gotten 2 mind changing comments on some of my posts. It flooded me with thoughts, and eventually it made me decide the following.

I will start posting updates about changing one’s life from the worst to the best (I’m gonna be the guinea pig). Perhaps it is going to be taking some years, or maybe just months, but it will be “recorded” here, and solely for you.

Few FAQ before I start:
How is it related? – It is totally related as coping skills and will give real life examples.
Why would you do it? – Because I want to change, and I’m having […]

9/16/2017 4 comments

Hope – The Pain Does Go Away

by yes please 9/15/2017

written by yes please

Hi all,

This is one of my first posts here.

A few years ago, I was in a pretty dark place. I was convinced that my life was a burden and that I’d never be able to shake the bad thoughts that came persistently. Every day was a struggle. Nothing was improving and I was getting suicidal thoughts.

Some of you may be in the same or a similar situation. Please know that things get better. I’m still here. I’m still fighting. It is a fight. It might be the hardest thing you do, but you’re worth it. You’re worth the fight and life is worth fighting for.

You have no […]

9/15/2017 16 comments

And then it happened…

by Urm8451n 9/1/2017

written by Urm8451n

It was an irritating morning, upset stomach and mind full of dreams. it was somewhere back to 2014, 12th grader, happily passed harsh teenage years, I was never anything special – in my own special way. Didn’t achieve too much, didn’t succeed at everything – “blank normal”.

“BACK in those days” :
I had my own problems: my dad wasn’t supportive or even “there”, even tho all allong he was 20 km away from me. Didn’t look good, was sick with horrible sickness, couldn’t find love, didn’t had time to go out with friends. Had avg grades even if I tried to get better. argh…. Regular […]

9/1/2017 1 comment

Pressing forward; not up

by smw24 8/31/2017

written by smw24

I spent 3 weeks on a psychiatric ward last winter and it destroyed me and my pride and all these people were deteriorating around me. My family would visit me and it was so hard and scary. There was no place of God there and I was not impressed with humanity anymore. I read the bible and I prayed and prayed. I walked through my own hell placing my trust in God’s promises and I survived and God did all these nice things for me that I didn’t even deserve. Jesus still loves you even at your worst. He transformed my soul and fortified and […]

8/31/2017 2 comments

On how poverty and a mattress may be the end of me

by heartlessviking 8/28/2017

written by heartlessviking

I notice that anger usually is my path to self destruction. I remember learning somewhere that the default emotion for men is anger. The default supposedly for women is sadness. Anyway, I have male anatomy and anger is my default.

I would be feeling fine if things were working well, isn’t it always the way? The issue comes back to unrealistic expectations, and for once they aren’t mine (or are they?).

I’m back in school, doing a full time load (actually a bit more). If all I was doing was school I could fucking succeed. It isn’t all I’m doing though.

First let’s talk about my health. I […]

8/28/2017 1 comment

They are back.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 8/23/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

Lately I’ve ben having these migraines that take everything that’s in me to stand. It’s not new, I used to have them daily until they somehow, the same pain transferred to my stomach. I got it checked out by a doctor long back and he gave me pills and said I was fine to go. Now the pain is back and it’s stronger than ever. I’m not being over dramatic or anything but it hurts to the point where I actually think there’s something wrong with me. Before I got back to my country I got a strong one and I literally cried myself to […]

8/23/2017 1 comment

Tired.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 8/19/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like there is more than one soul in me. I have to make a choice, either be too kind and suffer the consequences or be heartless and later come crashing down. I could also just stay the way I am right now but the thing is I don’t feel fine. I could never stay like this. Ignoring the way I feel is killing me. I’m just tired and sick of this life. I feel so selfish, I have everything I need to be able to survive yet I’m still depressed. I just can’t go back. Summer is […]

8/19/2017 2 comments

You Don’t Know What’s Good For You

by Angel of Life 8/19/2017

written by Angel of Life

WARNING: It is not enough if you have read these techniques. You must put actually put the techniques into practice! Everyday we are expected talk softly to suicidal people and treat them as though they are rational and understand how the brain works. They don’t. If you don’t understand that you REALLY don’t know about mental illness and you better read carefully to the end. You are the only one who can fix this and unfortunately you have no training, education or experience to do so, and the disease you have actually tries to stop you from fixing it. I was depressed until the age […]

8/19/2017 52 comments

I am a disappointment

by haterlivet 8/18/2017

written by haterlivet

One thing i´ve always thought of is that it´s so scary when someone mentally ill and suicidal (me) falls in love. We start feeling whole again. Like we´ve got a purpose, a reason to be here and a reason to start and try.

But one thing that really scares me and hurts me inside to think of is that; what happens when the person who´s saved me leaves? What happens when the person takes away all the hope and love and beauty and rip out all the stitches they used to put in their partner together again and the broken soul is left worse than they […]

8/18/2017 4 comments

Suicide without hurting others

by haterlivet 8/18/2017

written by haterlivet

I want to end my life, But i want to end it in a way that doesnt hurt the people around me. I’ve come to learn that this life really aint for me, i tried for so many years to stay strong and fight the pain Im feeling, But its absolutely impossible and Nobody really understands the mental illness Im going through. I dont really like to talk about my depression to a lot of people, Cause they think that Im calling for attention or that its no big of a deal. But i really wish They knew What Im going through

My biggest problem is […]

8/18/2017 5 comments

start them young

by hollowchest 8/17/2017

written by hollowchest

Hi. I just wanted to get my thoughts off and just rant. Anyone else think the house is just a prison? Your parents just owners? Granted that depends on who you have as parents, so it begs the question, if they aren’t doing their job properly in raising a child, why even have one? Like why have children only to condemn them and never support or encourage them? I’m not asking much, there’s certain responsibilities they obviously need to fulfill due to the child’s inability to look after themselves, such as picking them up from school when they’re young. Other than that, anything negative that […]

8/17/2017 5 comments

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