I did this, you can too.
Ive been struggling to find someone to talk to recently as i dont feel im doing the best.
I tried the online counselling but they all need payment details to actually talk to someone professional.
I just want someone who knows what im going through to pay attention and offer advice because i honestly feel so lonely atm.
Id really appreciate a message… For the record im also a really good listener!
Why? Why do I do this to myself? Why do I keep making myself suffer? Why don’t I have the courage to do it?
This is my life and I can do it if I want to, I’m tired of people saying don’t, I’m sick of them telling me to stop being so damn selfish and to think of others. Like I’m a person too damnit why cant they think of what I’m going through, Why cant they see the pain I see why do they have the strength I don’t have. Where the hell am I supposed to go a damn hospital doesn’t help I […]
I met you in my junior year of high school. its been almost 7 years since then, and exactly one month now since I last saw you. From the moment we met I knew there was something special in you, it didn’t take me more than a week to confess my love to you. From the very start I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, you were just different than everyone else. Even after you moved away for school, I was always there when you needed me. I was in a dark place when you moved […]
I’m starting to remember something from my past. It’s weird i can be having a regular conversation with someone and they say a word and i get a flash back of something. I’ve never told anyone the full story of what happened. That might be because i don’t even know the full story myself. I guess I’ve never told anyone about it is because i don’t know what their response will be. Will they have nothing to say at all or say something like “wow”, “i can’t believe that “, “im sorry”, or “are you okay?” I don’t know how to respond to any of […]
So a lot has happened since i last posted. My relationship has gotten a lot better. He’s a lot more understanding but, I still hide stuff, nothing bad…well kinda bad. I hide how bad my anxiety is but i do that with everyone not just him. But he doesn’t know that I’ve tried to commit suicide or that I’ve cut, and relapsed 2 weeks ago but haven’t since. He also doesn’t know how often i get anxiety attacks. He recently saw a small one but i labeled it as an asthma attack, which i get often. I got an anxiety attack because me and my […]
My aunty is visiting me before I leave for college, and she is the prettiest of my mom’s siblings because she uses the most makeup and she is the “beauty expert”. The only downside to this is that she cares way too much about her looks and comments on other peoples’ too. I was at the mall with her today with one of my other family members, and she kept talking about how much smaller she is than I am, yet she still has more than double my breast size. She kept saying comments during dinner (we ate saucy chicken wings from her favorite restaurant) about […]
Trapped inside this ominous receptacle,
Eighteen years, eight months, six days, ten hours, fifty minutes and forty seven seconds beyond my best before date,
I stand hollow and cavernous-as the wind cascades itself amidsts my masts, creating sweet tunes and great form;
My eyes have been spectators to such mesmerising beauty, humbling devastation and horror;
My ears have beared witness to great orchestrated melodies, profound speeches and bone wrenching pleas for intervention;
My skin has felt the sweet caress of a caring hand, the firm- corrective thump of life, the allure of a sexual pulse and the sterility and inamimacy of iron.
My heart has endured the thrills of young love, […]
I found something out yesterday that completely ripped my heart out. My wife divorced me a year and a half ago and i didnt know why until now. It seems my ( best friend lol ) was going to talk to and check on my wife and family while i was out of town for work without me knowing. This guy had a successful trucking business, a wife, kids, plus come to find out, a girlfriend and kids with her. So why interfere with my life. I lost everything because of this. My home, my vehicles, my Harley, but most importantly […]
It’s been quite a long time since I visited this site last time but things got kinda worse and so I couldn’t even manage to write something here, I was more or less all time just laying in my bed doing nothing but thinking about my worthless life. How I messed things up again. More and more I began realizing that I am by far a bigger problem for others and also myself than I assumed before. I don’t even know anymore how the heck I got to such a point in my life.
But now I’ve got vacation and I pushed myself, thinking – […]
If you’re as confused as I am, you don’t know why you’re here. You don’t know what you believe in or where you’re going in life or what’s in your future. You’re confused as to why you don’t want to be here.
If you’re as lost as I am, you don’t know where to turn. You don’t know who to talk to, who will listen, or who can help you. You’re lost in a darkness that bleeds through everything else.
If you’re as depressed as I am, you feel hopeless. You know that no matter what anyone else says, you can’t be happy, you don’t quite know how to […]
My first post on here and it’s on a somewhat uplifting note. Circumstances are under par, yes, I’m drinking shitty wheat vodka in a (near) stranger’s basement, alone, and I don’t know if things will ever be truly good again. I’m homeless, my anxiety is getting worse, money is running out. But, but, but: my head, always repeating positives. Probably leftovers from therapy, a nagging voice I tried desperately to build into my head (suggested by my psychologist, I thought it useless then but tried nonetheless) and it seems to have worked. Homeless, BUT: at least I have a place to stay tonight. There’s food in […]
The way my parents act towards each other. My dad trying to be in charge of the finances in the house. When he barley makes any him self. He doesnt even have a job just sits on his bloody ass on his computer about 98% of the time in his office. he does photography for a living. But he only does like 1 maybe 2 paid gigs a year. If lucky. If me and my sister ever need something like for school. were usually on our own or have to go beg for the money off of our grandmother or our mom. I work part […]
I’ve been sad for years! It started the summer before my ninth grade year. That summer I realized my parents true colors. I was a daddy’s girl before that summer and that’s what really broke me inside because I put all my trust into my dad. Anyways that day my dad had said some hurtful stuff and I got mad and he tried to make it up by giving me money and I said “money can’t buy love” he gave a crazy look and left the room he came back with a belt and beat […]
Hi all.
Just remembered about this place in a melancholy moment.
I’m doing ok. Was very suicidal for a few hellish months a year and a half ago.
I’m not suicidal now. I think about self harm occasionally, but I manage it – I don’t act on it – I do something else, like arrange to see a friend. That used to sound stupid or unthinkably difficult, but I’ve done lots of training of myself to get to a place where I’ve got habits.
My life is not perfect and I did have a shitty start in some ways, but in others, my world is […]
Let me first tell you a bit of my story and how I found this website – I was searching for methods to commit suicide. Why? I do not feel suicidal at all and I do not want to die at all. However, I may not have any other option. The reason for this is that there are some criminal people treating to do horrible things to me and my family, presumably because I was the cause for their significant financial losses (we are talking millions “supposedly”). While I can accept being killed I do not want my family to be affected. Therefore, my only […]
You hate being lonely because you don’t have anyone to share your life with. But you want to be alone because all you have ever known is bad, and you know damn well that no matter how many times you try it’ll always turn out in the same end- you get let down, they get let down, or you let yourself down.
So you stay alone. No matter how hard it is. It’s okay though, you’re strong. You can do this. You don’t need anyone. All you can rely on is yourself.
That doesn’t change that you still long for something more.
You see, I don’t want love. […]
I feel so alive, so happy, so grateful for the existence of that thing. I’m crying of joy, of happiness, my heart feels full again. Earlier, I was doubting that this would make me feel anything, but IT DID and I’m so happy.
Everything was worth it, my mind put all the pain and reality aside to just enjoy what I had waited for so long. It was everything I had expected and more, because I was surrounded by beautiful people. I can’t stop crying.
It was beautiful, so so beautiful. And the best part is that it is real. It is real!
I can get used to […]
Hello to old friends and new. As you can see im not dead or in prison which i guess is a good thing. ( depending who you ask ) i haven’t been on in awhile, trying to be strong for eveybody else lmao. Anyways i do pop in to read post now and then but had to post today. Like many people, this is my vent. I get a lot of good advice, kind words, and a whole lotta ” shit ” off my chest. Its been 4 years today that GOD took my oldest son. He was 21 […]
Happy Wednesday morning, everyone. I went through the effort to check my phone and see what day it is just so I could say happy Wednesday, see, I care that much about wishing everyone a happy day, you can say a lot of shit about me, but you can’t say I don’t care. If you were bored enough to read this and don’t know me, my name is Hailee, hi. If you were bored enough to read this and do know me, hi. Sorry I can’t think of anything more creative to say, and I have been wanting ever so slightly to post on here […]
This is my story to tell and the story you should know.
Janaury of 2013, I was a suicidal trans male. I suffered depression almost 3 1/2 years. It’s very long time than you all expected. I was hurt, scared, tired, lost, abandoned, and many words I should describe myself of being sad. Every day during my middle school year and the year of my 7th grade, people treated me like an animal or a beast. I was beaten up by bunch of kids especially middle and high school boys. I was known as a freak, emo freak, tranny freak, or boy freak. I couldn’t stand […]
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