I can’t ever seem to do anything right. I’m falling behind in school. I keep forgetting to do my chores. Every little thing I do is viewed as a mistake by my mom. My brother is always the perfect one. The miracle. Why can’t she love me like that for once? Why does she always yell at me? Maybe I really am just doing something wrong. Maybe I really am the disappointment that she sees when she looks at me. I just want it all to end.
Long story short, my life is a complete failure. It’s full of wrong decisions, (in)actions, regrets, mistakes after mistakes, that I honestly think maybe it’s already too late to “fix everything” (eg: I’m losing all the good chances/opportunities, as I’m getting old now). It’s really ironic & tragic, because a lot of people always say that I’m very talented especially in music (I used to be quite an active musician & composer/songwriter, but sadly I’m still not famous & successful), smart, a deep thinker, a highly sensitive person, etc etc.
I am also an idealist, meaning that I actually have a BIG vision & idea for […]
Im a 22 year old guy whos incredibly lonlely. I’ve somewhat lost my mother to a terminal illness that caused my dad to leave when i was 14. None the less ive had a few relationships in between but one of them ended up cheating on me and the other was a cocaine addict. None the less i am sad,, alone and want to kill myself. Ive been suicidal for years and years but couldn’t leave my mom like my dad did. Now that her illness is closing in on her and things are getting shorter, i feel less of an obligation to […]
*Do not expect perfect grammar*
*Names have been modified*(hopefully all)
You can access the rest of my money in my bank account to pay my share of the rent.
I have student debt, and I believe it can be forgiven if I am dead.
It’s been hard. I know that there were suppose to be future plans, but I couldn’t last til then unfortunately.
I thought that maybe these feelings were just temporarily. But it has become too much for me to handle on my own. I guess I wasn’t strong enough to just wait it out […]
I live everday in complete bliss and darkness. I started off well. Today I don’t want a single thing..not love, pleasure, nothing even life itself. I did everything I ever wanted to do. So why is this? Why I’m I feeling no purpose anymore.Where did i miss something?… or is life itself calling to it’s end.
Great! i did it again! and I’m sorry. I know i promised that i would do it… But you don’t understand how hard i tried to hold back. But you cant just stop something your addicted to! Now i look at my wrists and think ‘I’m just going to get scolded’ so i wanted to say goodbye… and… I’m sorry i failed you once again, Jun. I always let you down! How many times have a promised that i wouldn’t do it? you’ve lost count, haven’t you? yeah well, i have too. Have a good life, Jun. I’m sure it will be a […]
It was nearly Halloween last time I came on here, and since then I have managed to accomplish everything and nothing at the same time.
I finally got over the nausea from when I consumed what my body demanded was my fuel, but my brain swore was my poison. Only now I seem to be living off of sugar-free bubblegum and diet coke. Only now I cannot seem to break free from the chokehold the white ceramic bowl sitting in my bathroom has on me. I cannot seem to break free from the numbers- the numbers on the scale, the numbers on every package […]
I don’t know if I will be alive tomorrow. It’s all just so pointless and I can’t keep living like this, and it’s all so hard.
I get up in the morning, drag myself out of bed and try my best to function as a human being. But its always so hard to do anything. I first noticed that I stopped feeling anything positive 3 months ago, I just stopped caring about the “meaning” that everyone talks about. “Why don’t you go out with your friends?”, “I thought you loved what you were doing at uni but it seems like you aren’t interested anymore”, ” Maybe […]
Im so tired all the time im not lazy but i get sleep its like a living hell i get up go to school do work go home do work stay up do more work shower bed then just doing again its the same thing every day its all i do and all i will ever do in my life until i cant get a job and move out im sick and tired of it i just wanna see what the people call the “Other side of life” This world is harsh and cold and mean and will fuck you up so hard you forget […]
I have been on this website for a while now but i never dared to post because i was too scared but today im feeling a bit confident so i will just go for it. I am a 17 years old female. I have been diagnosed with depression since i was 14 and have been on meds since then. I have theraphy every monday and i go there. But nothing has really changed it just gets worse and worse. I was 16 and in 11th grade when i dropped out of highschool i just could’nt do it anymore. I always had huge dreams that i […]
I’ve completely broken down this time. It’s like no matter how hard I try, it ends in failure and more agony. I thought this damn time, I could finally recover my health…hah, what a joke! At the same time, what did I expect? I feel dead inside, don’t give a shit about my future, not to mention my health is like this because of being self destructive from wanting to die.
I have no one except for my family, the very one that plays a big part in why I struggled so hard to not hate myself. I feel a little bad about writing […]
Most of the time, the only option left for us is to die. It’s not like we deliberately want to die, maybe some of us do, but it is just the only viable option the world gave us.
I did try to fight. I really did. I didn’t try to fight because I wanted to live. I tried to fight because other people wanted me to – people that actually do love me. But it seems like the world is going against me. It feels like the world is a better place if I am not here anymore. Fight you say? What’s the point if it […]
I was doing good throughout the pandemic. I had been taking Benzos for over 9 years. I had decided to come off Benzos and start life all over again, because Benzos were now damaging me. In February of 2021, I went to my psychiatrist to get me off these drugs. Instead she put me on another drug that turned out to be more evil called Effexor. I was able to come off Benzos on my own and the psychiatrist cut my benzos refills off. I stopped sleeping and functioning. I then started taking Effexor and after two months of no sleep, I started sleeping again. […]
How many times have you said “i give up”?
How many times have you cried?
How many times have you kill your mind?
How many times have you hurt yourself?
When will you stop?
Always lost in the dark, never gave an effort to find light.
Covered in marks, never even bothered to fight.
Worthless, useless, incapable, dissociated.
Every negative words invented, you describe yourself with them.
You are a sad person. And you anchor down the people around you.
You worry about every single thing around you.
You cry at every inconvenient thing that happens.
People pity you. You pity yourself.
Never had dreams, because you’re untalented.
Your own mother doesn’t even like you.
Your father hates […]
dear no one,
i’ve been feeling down lately. actually, scratch that. i’ve been feeling down since i was 14 or so; i just never acknowledged or realized it. it’s a mixture of deep sadness and gut-wrenching anxiety every fucking day. i can’t even cry anymore.
you see, when i was young, i wanted to be an artist. i used to draw a lot, and even receive praises and compliments from others who look at my craft (thanks, pa. i hope you’re resting in heaven). i believed i can draw. when i went to college to become a creative artist as an advertising student, turns out, i only know […]
I’m going to kill myself soon.
though I say soon I do not have a certain date in mind.
I’ve been trying to connect with God but I’m not very loved by him.
I’ve been trying to distract myself but I’m not very motivated.
why do I have this heavy feeling in my chest, haven’t I had enough of life already? or is it human to fear death? if it is I don’t want to be human anymore.
I hate everything, though it’s not as bad as it used to be, I don’t want to live with my past […]
I was procrastinating on my homework when I came across this website. I’m writing this all off the top of my head so just stand by. So I read so many peoples stories on here and noticed one thing, everyone on here is going through the SAME THING. I myself often have bad mental health and breakdowns, but you know what? nobody is perfect. AND DON’T SKIP, I know everyone uses this as a pity sentence but just spend a minute of your life reading this because you need to open your eyes. Think to yourself, do you think there is a single […]
Earlier in the year I shared how my depression took a major downturn when my wife informed me that she was leaving me. I did not act hastily and do something stupid then, that to me is just drama. Instead, I checked myself into the hospital, and spent 4 weeks trying to sort through everything. Since that time, I have been in a daily fight with my depression, and I am losing. Continued therapy has not helped, and everything I try to do for me to make things better seems to be blowing up in my face. Today I found out that my job could […]
This was something that I thought of when I was at some of my lowest points in life. The idea that if I had a ship capable of interstellar travel, where it could jump to other star systems in a matter of seconds, I wouldn’t have hesitated to use it to leave this world and leave behind a parting message to the world as to why I left.
“Hello, most of you don’t know, I mean why would you, I’m just one mass amongst 7 billion other biological masses of similar nature. But it doesn’t matter whether you know me or not because I’m […]