im just done with life tbh. all it takes is this one person to yell and everything i’ve been coping with just comes down at me again and again. they don’t know half the stuff i think about. and i’m so frickin sorry that i can’t be like their perfect son. i dont even want to be him. i’ve just been thinking about *method* a lot lately. it would be such a nice escape from this life.
FUCK TIME TIME IS A B!TCH
FUCKIN RANT O’CLOCK, FUCKLES MCGEE!
GUESS WHAT?! I’m FUCKING waiting now, and I FUCKING hate it!
WAITING FOR THIS STUPID FUCKING SOLUTION which is GONNA MAKE MY LIFE BETTER
but FUCK WAITING OH GOD
I WAS STABLE for like A WEEK AND A HALF damnit! FUCK COPING! FUCK QUESTIONS from PROFANE PREACHERS of PALLID HATE!
HERE’s the UPDATE, because HELL YEAH that’s useful!
Part ONE:
I wanna make some FUCKIN DEMANDS, damnit!
I WANNA COFFIN, DAMNIT! and you BETTER NOT THROW AWAY ALL THE SHIT I PUT TOGETHER TO LAY THIS WHOLE MESS OUT FOR YA!
alright, now to the kind and well-deserving members of thesuicideproject.org, I’d like to […]
Looking to golden lights, disoriented by gossamer affection
You never loved me- lie no more. Leave me or love me, I shan’t stand for your façade any longer. I see truth, I knew from the genesis of your sin, it held no virtues.
You called my light delusion, and you called my patience an unchecked ego. When I spoke clearly at last, your shell crumbled, you held no quarter to the lies before which you had brought forth against me. You say it “I love you not, I care nothing for you however you shall live.” And so it was laid plain.
Dear Dr.X,
Thank you for getting through with the call with me today. I knew it was quite late for you since you didn’t have a continuous sleep the night before. I can hear your agitation in your tone although you kept on with the polite laughs and expressing gratitude as usual. The many times you called within a minute alone showed your agitation, while I was using the loo.
I want to tell you that I am sorry for coercing you into a late night call. I know that I was being inconsiderate of your situation. I only consider about my own convenience and feeling, ignoring […]
I don’t even know what to say. I feel like I’m already dead. I have no desire to live any more. I have no motivation to do anything. I want to be anything other than alive; anywhere other than here. I hate myself. I hate my life. Even my kids aren’t enough to keep me motivated any longer. I feel like I’m just barely holding on. I was sober for nearly eight years before I drank again and now I can’t even put together a week without drinking–I’ve a glass of crushed ice in the kitchen awaiting a heavy pour of bourbon from the bottle […]
I live in a country that sees suicide as an act of rebellion . So there are laws to scare people from commiting suicide . One of those laws is that if I am not above the age of 21 . If I commit suicide my close family parents and older siblings will be held accountable for my “mistake” by paying stupidly large sums of fines and me and my parents have to at least be held inside a “psych ward” ( basically a prison ) until I am deemed to be “normal” again . I have been actively trying to commit suicide since I […]
Here’s something funny. Maybe you can get some humor from it. This is a happy suicide note! As I write this, I’m not about to kill myself. I’ll be laughing with my friends online in a few minutes. Life will go on for a little while longer now. So, if you’re one of the strangers reading this when I first publish it, don’t feel sad for me. In fact, just keep assuming that the time never came. After you read it, just watch some cat videos and move on.
Anyways. Hi!
It’s strange, I know. I do want to explain a little. When it is actually time […]
I feel like i have been so manic that my head is going to spilt in half. That my chest will burst open. That my legs will break from pacing around so much. That my heart will give out from how much it hurts. I feel like i am losing my mind. And in the middle of it all, i dissociating from my body. Im watching from the sidelines. And i cant do anything about it. No matter how loud i am acreaming at my self TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND JUST BREATHE
BREATHE YOU FUCKING IDIOT
JUST STOP FUCKING MOVING AROUND […]
Everyone always says it gets better but when has it ever gotten to be anything other than shit. I’m sick of being all alone and empty I realize people never cared if I lived or die because to 7.7 billion people here I’m just another meaningless speck who repeats the same day over and over just with a different script and is just a waste to society. it just feels like I’ve just fucked up anything good that comes my way and like a magnet to the bad. The only thing that I truly just want is to be dead and forgotten so […]
I can’t ever seem to do anything right. I’m falling behind in school. I keep forgetting to do my chores. Every little thing I do is viewed as a mistake by my mom. My brother is always the perfect one. The miracle. Why can’t she love me like that for once? Why does she always yell at me? Maybe I really am just doing something wrong. Maybe I really am the disappointment that she sees when she looks at me. I just want it all to end.
Long story short, my life is a complete failure. It’s full of wrong decisions, (in)actions, regrets, mistakes after mistakes, that I honestly think maybe it’s already too late to “fix everything” (eg: I’m losing all the good chances/opportunities, as I’m getting old now). It’s really ironic & tragic, because a lot of people always say that I’m very talented especially in music (I used to be quite an active musician & composer/songwriter, but sadly I’m still not famous & successful), smart, a deep thinker, a highly sensitive person, etc etc.
I am also an idealist, meaning that I actually have a BIG vision & idea for […]
Im a 22 year old guy whos incredibly lonlely. I’ve somewhat lost my mother to a terminal illness that caused my dad to leave when i was 14. None the less ive had a few relationships in between but one of them ended up cheating on me and the other was a cocaine addict. None the less i am sad,, alone and want to kill myself. Ive been suicidal for years and years but couldn’t leave my mom like my dad did. Now that her illness is closing in on her and things are getting shorter, i feel less of an obligation to […]
*Do not expect perfect grammar*
*Names have been modified*(hopefully all)
You can access the rest of my money in my bank account to pay my share of the rent.
I have student debt, and I believe it can be forgiven if I am dead.
It’s been hard. I know that there were suppose to be future plans, but I couldn’t last til then unfortunately.
I thought that maybe these feelings were just temporarily. But it has become too much for me to handle on my own. I guess I wasn’t strong enough to just wait it out […]
I live everday in complete bliss and darkness. I started off well. Today I don’t want a single thing..not love, pleasure, nothing even life itself. I did everything I ever wanted to do. So why is this? Why I’m I feeling no purpose anymore.Where did i miss something?… or is life itself calling to it’s end.
Great! i did it again! and I’m sorry. I know i promised that i would do it… But you don’t understand how hard i tried to hold back. But you cant just stop something your addicted to! Now i look at my wrists and think ‘I’m just going to get scolded’ so i wanted to say goodbye… and… I’m sorry i failed you once again, Jun. I always let you down! How many times have a promised that i wouldn’t do it? you’ve lost count, haven’t you? yeah well, i have too. Have a good life, Jun. I’m sure it will be a […]
It was nearly Halloween last time I came on here, and since then I have managed to accomplish everything and nothing at the same time.
I finally got over the nausea from when I consumed what my body demanded was my fuel, but my brain swore was my poison. Only now I seem to be living off of sugar-free bubblegum and diet coke. Only now I cannot seem to break free from the chokehold the white ceramic bowl sitting in my bathroom has on me. I cannot seem to break free from the numbers- the numbers on the scale, the numbers on every package […]
I don’t know if I will be alive tomorrow. It’s all just so pointless and I can’t keep living like this, and it’s all so hard.
I get up in the morning, drag myself out of bed and try my best to function as a human being. But its always so hard to do anything. I first noticed that I stopped feeling anything positive 3 months ago, I just stopped caring about the “meaning” that everyone talks about. “Why don’t you go out with your friends?”, “I thought you loved what you were doing at uni but it seems like you aren’t interested anymore”, ” Maybe […]
Im so tired all the time im not lazy but i get sleep its like a living hell i get up go to school do work go home do work stay up do more work shower bed then just doing again its the same thing every day its all i do and all i will ever do in my life until i cant get a job and move out im sick and tired of it i just wanna see what the people call the “Other side of life” This world is harsh and cold and mean and will fuck you up so hard you forget […]
I have been on this website for a while now but i never dared to post because i was too scared but today im feeling a bit confident so i will just go for it. I am a 17 years old female. I have been diagnosed with depression since i was 14 and have been on meds since then. I have theraphy every monday and i go there. But nothing has really changed it just gets worse and worse. I was 16 and in 11th grade when i dropped out of highschool i just could’nt do it anymore. I always had huge dreams that i […]