Category:

Rants

A Letter to my father side

by booksarelife 6/14/2022

written by booksarelife 5 mins read

To my dear

Father: Sorry I wished you were never my father, Im sorry I wished you never existed or wished you couldn’t give a single shit about me. Honestly I don’t even want to say sorry to you. Yes I’m selfish, I guess you never done anything wrong and it wasn’t your fault you were never there. Only thing I hate is that you wish I was more closer to you. How the fuck is it my fault I’m not comfortable around you or your side of the family? Another thing is your kinda sexist. Feel sorry for your daughter and son. I really hate […]

6/14/2022 0 comment

Never Satisfied.

by booksarelife 6/14/2022

written by booksarelife 1 min read

POV
Your life is perfectly fine. Your parents are amazing, so are your family, you have a few but amazing friends, and your living a decent life but you still are sad and never satisfied with life. Then you came to the conclusion and realized, yup I’m the problem. And you are. You always were. You are the burden in every ones life and even in yours. You hurt every one you have met no matter how great they treated you. You were always selfish and useless. You know allll these things yet you never decided to change. So you thought, fuck it, why suffer […]

6/14/2022 1 comment

Too expensive to live

by MREED 6/10/2022

written by MREED

This is just my quick summary rant of my wanting to die, yes I know what I’ve written is long and messy but believe me I have left out a lot of details, this really is a summary and I just need to let it out, any comments even if mean are appreciated, I can’t let anyone know what I’m planning so being able to be open like this makes me feel just a tiny bit better

Was diagnosed with depression in middle school, my mother is agoraphobia so since middle school I’ve had to shop for her, take care of her and the house, I […]

6/10/2022 2 comments

When does it stop?

by LamPop 6/6/2022

written by LamPop

Every day I think about ways to stop this overwhelming pain and sadness. I can’t be bothered anymore. I feel that I can’t leave because I have my son to look after and he has already suffered tremendous loss. I can’t focus. I’m going to lose my job if I don’t return. I find no joy in anything. I only want to lie around and sleep or watch TV. I am a worthless nothing piece of crap. The love of my life blindsided me and left – no contact. Just cheated and left after eight years. I’ve struggled with my mental health for years and […]

6/6/2022 2 comments

which is it?!

by Furby 5/30/2022

written by Furby

everyone hates me, no one loves me and no one ever will, everyone wants me dead, everyone cares about me, everyone loves me.. it’s all the same damn thing in my head. why can’t my brain make up its mind? do people care about me or not?? stop giving me a damn headache! i’m trying to sleep here!

5/30/2022 3 comments

Nothing can fix anything, not me.

by RedAndBlack 5/21/2022

written by RedAndBlack

Life is complete bullsh*t, I mean I never signed up to end up wanting to kill myself in the end. Whats the point of living if everyone is going to die in the end, might as well be it over and done with when your young?

And here I am, i dont know what the hell im doing here, what is this place going to help me with, fix my problems?, No.

Nothing can ‘fix’ anything, no medications, no therapy or mindfulness, all of that sh*t, completely useless, a scam. I don’t even know how ‘talking about my problems, and feelings is going to stop me from […]

5/21/2022 4 comments

I hate existence and I feel like a prisoner of existence every single day

by unoriginalperson 5/12/2022

written by unoriginalperson

I don’t know what to do or how to keep going.
I don’t even want to keep going anyway and I know I won’t.

Everywhere I go there is another person telling me how I should live my life, they coerce me on what I should or should not do. Everyone always drops their worded baggage on me like I’m a garbage can and then I watch them do it to others. People seem so distracted from the horrors of this world; I’m so envious of them, but at the same time I am hurting because they are so unaware of their own […]

5/12/2022 1 comment

im ready to go

by iwannadiesobad 5/9/2022

written by iwannadiesobad

I really have 0 left to offer this world. Im failing out of college, my boyfriend fucking sucks, everyone around me finds me loud and annoying, i may be in love with my coworker but i already fucked that up. I just want to feel the sweet release of death. I am not going to have some big or nice job in the future- i have no future, im a fucking joke, and the best part is that no one even knows this about me, im so pathetic that i lie to everyone about how my personal life is because im so embarrassed.

5/9/2022 3 comments

Reflecting on a toxic situationship

by voidzfan21 5/7/2022

written by voidzfan21

In summer 2021, I was in a horribly dark place. I couldn’t even get out of bed and cried every day. By august 1st, I had met a guy. I met him on bumble bff. I had just spent the last 6 or so months engaging in degrading hook ups and trying to find ‘love’ and has given up. I was his perfect target.

I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and told that I possibly had autism according to a few therapists I had seen before, so basically when it comes to dating, I get obsessive with people and idealize them, on top of […]

5/7/2022 2 comments

so lazy i know i cannot survive as an adult

by sleepy2001 5/6/2022

written by sleepy2001

I am a senior in high school, 18, about to be out on my own. all my friends are super excited, ready to go to college and conquer the world. I am lazy as shit. I turn in my homework late or not at all, even when it is extremely easy because I’m too lazy to do it, i never clean my room even though its disgustingly filthy, and if i wasn’t being literally forced to work a job i would have quit by now. I have considered dropping out of high school multiple times (not now since I’m about finished) because its too much […]

5/6/2022 3 comments

Crappy Birthday to me

by Virus.Found 4/30/2022

written by Virus.Found

Having a super down spiral on that day is the worst. I did never have horrible birthdays but this year may be the top runner.!! Already fought with a friend, who’s now ignoring me (thanks for making it about you) and I may just turn my phone off and eat cake. Anyone want some light blueberry cake with cream or a non-alcoholic version of Tiramisu? It’s on me 😛 Who do I have.? No one can even bother trying to cheer me up. Well, fuck you. I don’t have to be happy today. It’s not my fault no one can handle that. I hope no […]

4/30/2022 1 comment

there is really no one

by solar_ 4/26/2022

written by solar_

i dont know whether it is worse to be completely alone, or to have people in your life who act like theyre there for you but know they never are. its not even about going to someone when youre sad and need someone to talk to, its about them actually choosing to spend time with you and all of that.

I feel like as i go on i realise that, as much as it is nice for people to be there for you when youre sad, its better for people to actually want to be with you. I have friends that are the opposite of that. […]

4/26/2022 2 comments

Wadded Up Paper

by Melon_Lord 4/25/2022

written by Melon_Lord

why am I like this,
like a ball of wadded up paper, can’t I just focus and be normal and SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
they wont stop yelling “HEY”
Everything is so pointless, but I need to at least try- WHY “AREN’T YOU TRYING!!”
i’m sorry sorry sorry i’m trying I swear I just need more time, and maybe more effort, but my bed feels so nice..and maybe I can take a nap..
Maybe I won’t wake up and- “PAY ATTENTION”

“Yeah my bad”
“sorry I forgot”
“I’m just really tired”
So so so tired
tired of the cycle that […]

4/25/2022 1 comment

What did I do wrong?

by Max 4/25/2022

written by Max

I can’t ever seem to do anything right. I’m falling behind in school. I keep forgetting to do my chores. Every little thing I do is viewed as a mistake by my mom. My brother is always the perfect one. The miracle. Why can’t she love me like that for once? Why does she always yell at me? Maybe I really am just doing something wrong. Maybe I really am the disappointment that she sees when she looks at me. I just want it all to end.

4/25/2022 3 comments

I’m 40 years old this year, and I still don’t know what to do, and whether I should continue to live, or just die?

by niki 4/25/2022

written by niki

Long story short, my life is a complete failure. It’s full of wrong decisions, (in)actions, regrets, mistakes after mistakes, that I honestly think maybe it’s already too late to “fix everything” (eg: I’m losing all the good chances/opportunities, as I’m getting old now). It’s really ironic & tragic, because a lot of people always say that I’m very talented especially in music (I used to be quite an active musician & composer/songwriter, but sadly I’m still not famous & successful), smart, a deep thinker, a highly sensitive person, etc etc.

I am also an idealist, meaning that I actually have a BIG vision & idea for […]

4/25/2022 4 comments

Monsters

by Lovelybones 4/25/2022

written by Lovelybones

Lately i’m not sure how i’m feeling, whether it’s really high, highs or really low, lows. I keep getting confused by the highs and think oh i’m getting better and then being proved wrong by the lows. I’ve dealt with a lot of past trauma, that being a lot of sexual abuse by people who i trusted and thought were there to protect me but realizing that i shouldn’t been protected by them instead was the hard part. I can’t remember when the sexual abuse started and i can’t remember who the first person was. I remember most people who have done it, my uncle, […]

4/25/2022 1 comment

It seems like it won’t get better for me

by Grimhild 4/25/2022

written by Grimhild

I think I was just doomed from the start.

This society doesn’t want people like me, it prefers that I’d die. I’m gay and transgender, so I’m already a target for horrible people to take their frustrations out on. I’m too disabled to work, but the government won’t give me Disability. Even if they did, it’s not enough to survive on. I’m not good enough at art, music, or writing to make a living off of it. Streaming is too tiring with my depression and chronic pain. I’ve tried to get a remote job despite my disability, but I’ve only gotten scams. I’m running out of […]

4/25/2022 0 comment

Can’t Do It

by alovelywaits 4/22/2022

written by alovelywaits

I belittle myself. I think I can’t do it. I’m not smart enough. I have no common sense. I’m too skinny. I am a failure. At tennis. At school. At drawing, sometimes. At my own body. And I just can’t breathe. Emotionally and physically. I’m intrigued and fascinated by the thought of cutting. It’s just so tempting. But then I stop because I’m scared. And how will I get a sharp enough blade? (All excuses)

4/22/2022 2 comments

Scared

by alovelywaits 4/21/2022

written by alovelywaits

Sometimes I want to take a knife. But then I would get caught. Some one is always out there, in the kitchen, the living room. There’s always someone here. And I hate that. I hate having someone home 24/7. I can’t get a knife, can’t keep a diary, can’t keep a secret, can’t cry in peace, can’t sleep in peace, can do school work in peace, can’t procrastinate and play games on my iPad (iPad kid vibes, yes I know) in peace, can’t even draw in peace because someone is always watching. Someone is always there, and when they’re not, I fear they’ll return. When […]

4/21/2022 2 comments

Don’t remember, never remember

by Virus.Found 4/20/2022

written by Virus.Found

I heard something, that I shouldn’t have. That’s all it took and now I want to rage quit on life. I guess we bury it so deep, that it’s not even visible to us, until someone else reminds us. It’s 4:32 am and I want to self harm. The harm’s already in my head afterall. Why couldn’t I get upset at a more convenient time. Now I have no one to talk to.

4/20/2022 2 comments

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